[Trigger Warning:- Death.]
He sat down on the soft sand of the beach, looking at the sunset in front of him. An unexplainable feeling in his heart as he grips the paper in his left hand so tightly that he would have also crushed the paper into a ball. He, who would always find comfort near the ocean, now feels empty and almost disappointed in this lifetime. He sits quietly, an air of emptiness surrounding him. Despite being a young adult with countless opportunities ahead, a deep sadness clouds his expression. The burden of uncertainty and the pressure to make correct choices leave him feeling as though something essential is missing. Even with a promising future, a sense of longing and introspection reveals a complex mix of hope and sorrow within him.
As the sun finally set, the cold night started to come; he stood up walked to the closest bin on the beach and threw away the paper ball. He went home, walking in the deserted streets, dogs barking and drunk men sitting on the pavement and drinking all their problems away. He returned to a cold home, a home that felt broken but he knew deep down it was broken long ago in his early childhood. The only home that was once filled with the delicious smell of freshly baked apple pie in the afternoon after school was just a distant memory.
That night, he went straight to bed, feeling numb about how his life had turned out. He had once been a curious kid, but now he felt like a shadow of his former self, lacking any curiosity. The small, cold room contained only a drawer, a desk, and a small twin-size bed. The plain white walls, as bare as the sky, served as a reminder that he had nothing left.
He just lay on his bed, thinking about all the things that have happened in his life in those recent weeks. It was hard for him but not for the people around him. He came from a loving family until he was ten; God decided to take his mother away from him and his workaholic father, a man who loved his wife very much until that tragic day. He changed for the worse in his son's life. On that fateful day, a devastating house fire claimed not just a structure but took away a woman who was cherished in so many roles: a beloved daughter, a treasured niece, a dear cousin, a loyal friend, a devoted wife, and a nurturing mother. The flames didn’t just consume the building; they extinguished a vibrant life filled with love and connection.
As the years went on, his father remarried a woman with her daughter in her first marriage. His father's attitude changed when that woman, his stepmother and his stepsister came into his life. The days living with them became a living hell for him, the golden child of the family was the stepdaughter. The mother and daughter duo stole his father's love, the rude comments from his stepmother, the unfair accusation from his stepsister, and the anger and disappointment from his father took a toll on him. At school, his stepsister spread vicious rumours about him, resulting in his isolation from the class and the loss of his closest friends.
He always came first in his class, earning a scholarship and numerous awards for his participation in various activities. However, his achievements were never acknowledged by his father. He tried his hardest in every way to gain his father's attention, but it was always focused on his precious daughter, who consistently received the lowest marks in all her classes yet still enjoyed a celebration night at her favourite restaurant.
He would watch the family he longed for, but he knew he could never have it.
He was a lonely boy who just wanted some love.
Now standing at a height of 6 ft 4, 22 years old. Just moved on with his life but God have other plans for him, he doesn't whether to accept the reality of this life. He just sat like a statue in the doctor's office processing what the doctor had just told him a few minutes ago.
"I-I have cancer ?" he said with uncertainty in his voice as he stared at the doctor.
"Yes, you only have a few months left to live as the cancer is at the stage of 4." The doctor said with a serious tone in his voice.
With that news in mind, he feels like he lost all meaning of life. Was it fear or just a void in his heart that hurt him deeply ? He would tell his father the news but he was afraid of the outcome. Would his father listen to him for once in this lifetime ? Would his family care about him after years of constant ignorance and unfair treatment ?
He would never know.
During the following months, he tried to visit his father or call him but his efforts would always go to waste. He soon just stops and starts to plan his last moment. He now knows where his place is and he doesn't want to fight for it anymore. He just wrote a letter.
He attended a prestigious university, the best in his hometown, but few people knew about it because neither he nor his father ever talked about it. He moved away, trying to navigate his new life as an adult. Nobody had warned him that it would be challenging; life is always difficult. However, we sometimes find joy in it, and those moments create lasting memories.
He is just an ordinary student facing some unfair choices in life. At his university, he approached the administration to arrange a meeting with his professors regarding his majors. He didn’t provide any explanation for the meeting to the administration, but the look in his eyes prompted the administrators to facilitate the meeting, unaware of the consequences it might lead to.
He laid everything out in front of them, sharing details about his final months left in this lifetime. He expressed his desire to drop out of university, thanking his professors for their valuable advice on life and the education he received from them. Many perceived him as a good person, facing his situation alone like a warrior. His words deeply affected some of the professors; no one wanted to accept it, but it was the sad reality of his life.
His small apartment, once filled with the rich scent of coffee beans, was now empty. Over the past few months, he had sold everything he owned. The money he earned from his part-time job, along with the extra income from selling his furniture and electronics, was surprisingly enough for him. He saved all the money he could, no matter how little it was.
He, himself was alone in his now empty apartment with just his phone, laptop, some clothes for a few days and the letters. He never had a best friend, a girlfriend which he would fight for and a family that loved him for who he was. He wants his father to acknowledge him as his son, his real blood son, not some stranger that he had never met before. He just wanted his support as he, himself was suffering in silence away from the outside world.
As the days passed quickly, he found himself lying in the uncomfortable flat hospital bed, the white room with the patient monitor beeping at the beats of his heart. He was still alive but not for long. The IV drip Stand was placed next to his bed, with the IV cannula in his arm. The oxygen mask on his face. He was weak and thinner. The pain was unbearable for him as he would have had a chance to live if he had discovered his cancer earlier but it was too late for him.
As he lay on the bed waiting for his final hours to come. The letters should have arrived at his father's house by now. He regrets not fighting for his right to see his father one last time but their relationship was already strained years ago. Yet sometimes it's best to let go of the people who hurt you the most even if it's your own family.
He felt sleepy for a moment, he just wanted to sleep without the pain for a long time. He saw the warm bright light, he smiled warmly when he saw the woman getting closer to him. The bright light behind her hid her face yet he just slowly closed his eyes. A silence and a warmth wrapped around his body, opening his eyes again to see the beautiful blue ocean in front of him.
The faceless woman now standing in front of him, gave her hand to him. He just smiled when he saw the face of the woman as he took her hand. At this moment, he felt loved by the only woman who he would call.
"Mother..." He said.
"Welcome to your heaven, Kai.." His mother said.
-Kai Upton, 22 years old, Beloved son and brother. -
That was inscribed on his grave: Kai Upton was a boy who grew up in a blended family and experienced unfair treatment from others, yet he chose not to fight back. He was always a kind person who longed to be loved, much like the sea. Now, he rests alongside his beloved mother. Despite his early departure, he accepted his fate and is now in heaven.
Kai's name, which means "sea," beautifully symbolizes the deep bond he shares with his mother, who treasures the ocean as much as he does. Their connection to the sea is a reminder of the love and appreciation they both have for its beauty.
By Blondie-kun. I'm a first timer. Sorry if the sorry is a bit boring.
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2 comments
"Even with a promising future, a sense of longing and introspection reveals a complex mix of hope and sorrow within him." Deep thoughts. They say a writer should write what they no, and I sense you have. Welcome to Reedsy!
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Know!
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