49 comments

Coming of Age American Thriller

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

As the last two customers finished their enchiladas, Joslynn began to close for the night. She preferred being at work—or school—ever since her mother’s boyfriend had moved in. He liked drugs and so did her mother, but his leering eyes made Joslynn’s stomach tie itself into knots. 

Mothers are all slightly insane, Joslynn had highlighted in her tattered copy of The Catcher in the Rye. Her English test began in less than nine hours, so she snuck in snatches of studying whenever she could. 

She’d already plugged the beer taps, sanitized the soda machine, and refilled the napkin dispensers. She considered wiping down the menus, but her shift had been over for fifteen minutes. The day shift could do that. 

Instead, she began to file her long nails. She walked over to the men's table when she noticed they had finished their meals. 

“Is there anything else I can get you?” Joslynn asked. 

“More chips,” the short one mumbled, his mouth half-full. 

She nodded curtly in reply.

His fourth fucking basket of chips. 

Silently, she refilled the basket, placing it unceremoniously on the table.

“And salsa,” he added. 


“Hey,” the tall man called out, a few minutes later. “Bring the check.”

Getting up from behind the cash register, Joslynn used her nail file as a bookmark and tucked her paperback into her back pocket. 

“What are you reading?” the tall man asked. Something that vaguely passed for a smile crept across his face.

“Salinger.”

“You like reading?”

“I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot,” she quoted from the book, mimicking Holden Caulfield’s snarky tone. 

“Oh.”

The check remained untouched. 

“So, are you paying by cash or credit?”

“Neither,” he replied, one of his meaty hands encircling Joslynn’s wrist. 

Joslynn reflexively jerked back, but the tall man held her fast. 

“There’s like fifty bucks in the register.” Her voice quavered. “I have twenty in my purse—”

The short man gave a guttural laugh. He walked quickly to the front door, holding it open while the tall man half-dragged, half-carried Joslynn outside.

I need to scream, she thought, panic tunneling her vision. But before she opened her mouth, the short man hit her square in the stomach, doubling her over. 

As the men muscled Joslynn across the parking lot, she watched the short man open the roll-up door of a white moving truck. Before being shut inside, Joslynn heard the kitchen staff speaking and clattering dishes through the restaurant’s open windows. 

People never notice anything, Salinger had written. 

When the truck's engine started, she wept.

Hours passed.

They picked up two more women, far older than Joslynn. One was unconscious, dressed provocatively; they loaded her into the truck like cordwood. The other seemed to enter by choice. Underneath her smeared makeup, she was pretty. She clutched a backpack, mouth set into a thin line. 

Joslynn licked her dry lips. “I’m thirsty. Could I have—?”

The short man replied by striking her across the face. The roll-up door slammed shut.

As Joslynn burst into fresh tears, the older woman rummaged in the backpack, pulling out a thermos.

“Iced tea?”

Joslynn nodded, took it, drank greedily. 

“I’m Cassidy,” the woman introduced herself. “Do yourself a favor. Don’t ask those two for anything.”

“Who are they?” Joslynn whispered. 

“Bad guys,” Cassidy replied. “And they work for someone worse. Did they give you time to pack?”

“Pack for what? All I have is this stupid book.” Joslynn pulled out her paperback. “I don’t understand—”

“I think Salinger wrote, ‘Say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.’” 

Joslynn blinked. “You’ve read this?”

“Everyone reads that in high school. You just don’t understand it until later.”

“Cassidy,” Joslynn pleaded. “What’s going on?”

“We’re being transported.”

“Where?”

“A hotel, a condo, someone’s basement. It doesn’t matter. It’ll be the same wherever they set us up.”

Joslynn’s eyes widened at the implication before throwing up Cassidy’s iced tea. 


“Why me?” Joslynn asked, once her crying jag abated. “Why was I kidnapped?”

“You weren’t kidnapped,” Cassidy explained. “These guys only take women who are sold.”

“What’s the difference?”

“When you’re kidnapped, people look for you.” Cassidy lit a cigarette. “No one is looking for any of us.”


In time, Cassidy fell asleep, using the thigh of the other woman as a pillow. Joslynn sat ramrod straight, puzzling out what Cassidy had said. 

Sold, not kidnapped.

Her mother’s recent behavior had worsened. They had argued. She’d pilfered from Joslynn’s wallet more than usual. All the while her mother’s new boyfriend had lain on the couch, a smirk across his face.

Joslynn reached for her paperback, removing the nail file that marked her place. 

She reread a section she’d highlighted in yellow: Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior.

She closed the book, tracing the red, raging carousel horse on its cover.

At dawn, the roll-up door opened a third time. 

A thin, prepubescent girl entered the back of the white truck. 

Taking one look at the child’s pallid face, Joslynn’s pupils narrowed. Her jaw clenched.


In the weak light, Joslynn read her book as Holden continued to complain: What made it even worse, my eyes were sore as hell. 

The older women slept on. The young girl clasped her hands as if in prayer.

Joslynn dog-eared the page of her book before methodically sharpening her long nails into stiletto-points. 


“Do you know why we’re here?” the little girl asked.

“I do,” Joslynn answered, her outrage at the men rekindling, steeling her resolve, giving her courage.

“Why?” 

“We’re not supposed to fall off the cliff,” Joslynn explained. 


When the short man opened the roll-up door for the last time, Joslynn’s talons dug deeply into his eye sockets. 

His unnatural howls alerted the tall man, who arrived just in time to see a young woman catch up to a little girl—running together across a field and into a service plaza, hand in hand.


September 21, 2023 07:43

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49 comments

Delbert Griffith
10:31 Sep 22, 2023

Whoa! Creepy! Although I like the Salinger/Holden quotes. Sold, not kidnaped. That line was chilling! And Joslynn is right: kids aren't supposed to fall off a cliff, but so many do just that. We adults are supposed to catch them, and we should always take that job seriously. Nice tale, Deidra. The heroine takes matters into her own hands - or nails - and saves another one from the edge of the cliff. Nicely done, my friend. Nicely done indeed. Cheers!

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11:31 Sep 22, 2023

Love you, Del! I'm having fun with my warrior princesses. Tis the season to take down toxic masculinity.... Where is Boudicca when you need her (or Xena, for that matter)? I hope autumn has made its way down to Texas and all is well with you and yours.

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Delbert Griffith
11:52 Sep 22, 2023

Your warrior princesses are fab, my friend! Keep 'em coming. Toxic masculinity. Yes. Do you ever wonder why most of my MCs are females? Brutal, killing females, but strong and self sufficient. Speaking of a brutal female, I haven't progressed much on my novel. Been busy. Sure, it's a terrible excuse, and I know it's a terrible excuse, but there it is. I have vowed to get at least 20 pages written in the next month, if not more. Autumn weather here is...missing. The temp right now is 77 degrees, with a predicted high of 100 degrees. In shor...

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14:44 Sep 22, 2023

I am having my best school year ever. Beautiful campus in Troy, VA. I have classes of 4 and 6. This private school is renowned for their home cooking and family-friendly environment. (Goodbye forever, public school.) Life is so, so good. Let me know when Dolores is back to chopping...

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15:19 Sep 22, 2023

(Don't think that you Kurt Vonnegut's 1969 novel Slaughterhouse-Five quote got past me...Hats off...and pretty good for a math teacher :)

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Delbert Griffith
15:26 Sep 22, 2023

LOLOL Of course you'd pick up on that, my friend. I'm so pleased that you found new life in your new school. They're lucky to have you. Cheers, Deidra!

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Midnight Young
21:56 Nov 14, 2023

Just stumbled upon this and absolutely loved how the story went - pacing slowly - a very calm setup. Just your usual day... Or so it seemed... It got intense and built up quickly! The twist - "Sold, not kidnapped" - was brutal. Quite a distinction!.. Really enjoyed how the story unravelled, thank you!

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22:06 Nov 14, 2023

Thanks, Midnight. I appreciate the kind remarks!

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Sherry Bazley
22:21 Oct 30, 2023

This is a good one, Deidra. Apparently Josyln got the point of Holden's autobio. Pun intended. Amazing how quickly you developed things and the story was over before I was ready for it to end, reflecting the speed at which events were transpiring for the MC. This made the story more powerful for me as reader, because it was actually happening not only in my head, but also in "real time". Great job. My favorite line is: "She closed the book, tracing the red, raging carousel horse on its cover." I remembered that horse from almost 60 ...

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14:13 Nov 24, 2023

Thanks for your kind remarks. I've been working with female protagonists who comply until they don't... They comply, put up with societal norms, smile and be silent, until the proverbial straw hits the camel back -- then *boom* "Raging" indeed :)

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Mike Panasitti
00:29 Oct 16, 2023

Deidra, your depictions of misogyny here are as enraging as those you wove for "The Medicine Girl." It's a shame we live in a culture where a man is pejoratively termed a "captain save a ho" (by certain segments of the population) if he wants to act on behalf of women whose plight is similar to those in some of your narratives. Part of me doesn't want to be triggered by the situations you describe (it's only fiction after all), but another part of me believes the situation of women in the U.S. is worse than it has ever been in my lifetime...

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11:38 Oct 17, 2023

Mike! Happy autumn. So good to hear from you! I wrote this story for another contest and decided to give ol' Reedsy a try. I'm teaching a class on World History, and sorry to say -- misogyny has been the rule more than the exception for the past half dozen millennia. I don't have specific words of consolation for my dear friend, but the Buddhists do. From its basic tenets: desire lies at the root of suffering. By desire, Buddhists mean cravings (yearnings?) that can never be satisfied. As a result, desiring them can only bring suffering. ...

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Mike Panasitti
14:51 Oct 18, 2023

Thanks for the Buddhist words of wisdom. Although I went to Christian schools until 8th grade, Buddhism is my religion of choice. I took it up at New Folsom Prison. The poem by Burns is a gem. Having become too familiar with my "self," I'm in the process of finding a new self to be true to. And seeking to be more liberal with love, if not with politics, is part of that quest. I'm glad to hear of your new vocational setting. It sound idyllic, and a perfect place to nurture your writer's imagination. Are we ever gonna get some more ...

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13:43 Dec 15, 2023

I know I am very late, but I loved this so much. I don't know, but the prose's sparseness made things vivid for me and I lost myself in the story. The quoting of Salinger as the story progresses is a strong aspect of the story. CHEF'S KISS! I was really afraid the ending would be sad because there is no true place to resolve all that in a short story format but that is just me not understanding the abilities of a short story God. You won a lot for a reason. "When the short man opened the roll-up door for the last time, Joslynn’s talons dug d...

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13:43 Dec 15, 2023

I used the word 'story' in this paragraph more than I've used it my entire life lol

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16:29 Dec 15, 2023

So good to catch up with you on email — drop by Discord. There’s a lot going on there — lots of writing contests to win 🥇

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16:48 Dec 15, 2023

I lost my discord. Can you please send me the discord link again if you like

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17:03 Dec 15, 2023

https://discord.gg/bxTWQw3HJR Check out the contests....especially https://www.writerscentre.com.au/furious-fiction/ (Which is monthly and FREE)

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17:06 Dec 15, 2023

THANK U!!

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Dustin Gillham
16:58 Nov 29, 2023

I love you. Warrior princesses! So hot! I think I'm going to write this week even though I hate Reedsy and the judges do nothing but rob and squander true talent! Lol. Jk. I'm the worst critic, you know me! Good story. Very feminine, but, as always... executed brilliantly. Is she blonde or brunette? We talking more Charlize Theron artsy, or Charlize Theron good ole' blonde angel? Fine, I'll try and write about a chic this week! Well done. Miss you. Hope all is well.

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02:20 Nov 30, 2023

Give me something to edit, Dustin. I love your writing ❤️

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Amanda Lieser
03:34 Oct 20, 2023

Hi Deidra! I love the way that you decided to integrate the quotes from the novel because I thought that it felt very reminiscent of habits that all writers seem to have. Since we spend our days crafting stories the single lines from others’ pieces that stand out to us can often bounce around in our heads at all times. I thought that you handled the delicate themes very well, and I loved that this story ended on a note of hope.

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14:17 Nov 24, 2023

Thanks, Amanda! I've been working on other writing projects and contests, but it's always fun to come back to Reedsy and see who's still knocking around. May we all have a J. D. Salinger-esque novel that high school kids are foreced to read in class for the next 70 years (haha).

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Jeana Budnick
20:53 Oct 19, 2023

Well, that gave me chills. Love the ending

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22:36 Oct 19, 2023

❤️ Thanks for reading!!

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Mary Lewis
17:29 Oct 12, 2023

This was really interesting Deidra! I liked the pace of the story and how I was able to get a strong feel for Josylnn's personality in a short time.

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Mirage Kinsey
22:42 Oct 04, 2023

It's sad that things like this happen in real life. Thankfully, with the story you wrote like this spreads awareness to all who read it. A truly terrifying turn of events in how quickly it escalated, but a sweet ending to the bitterness when they escaped together hand in hand. Amazing work.

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Shy-Ann H
00:58 Sep 29, 2023

This makes me want more. It makes me crave for more, the tension building up perfectly. Thanks for sharing the story.

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Karen Corr
12:55 Sep 28, 2023

Loved the happy ending!:)

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Tom Skye
18:06 Sep 27, 2023

Great technique with the quotations. Loved the main character and the build up of tension worked perfectly. Thanks for sharing

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18:16 Sep 27, 2023

Thanks, Tom. If you're bored, come on over to Discord and chat about the joys & frustrations of writing with your fellow writers. Lots of talented people with hot tips on writing contests, beta reads, moral support, etc. https://discord.gg/bxTWQw3HJR

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Tom Skye
18:25 Sep 27, 2023

Thanks , I'll check it out

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Michał Przywara
20:38 Sep 26, 2023

Great tension, and a wild ending - though all things considered, about as happy an ending as we could hope for. Others have mentioned it, but "Sold, not kidnapped." Damn! That realization hits hard, because that's when hope dies. And the utterly casual way Cassidy explains it? Like it's a matter of fact? So very sad. This woman's a veteran of this messed up system, and it's become her normal. The interspersed lines from Catcher add a neat effect, underscoring the coming of age angle here. Joslynn realizes that much of the world she knows...

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Marie Tineo
13:03 Sep 26, 2023

"People never notice anything." No truer words have ever been spoken. I absolutely loved how you wove the Salinger/Holden quotes into the story, almost foreshadowing what was going to happen. My other favorite line was, "“Everyone reads that in high school. You just don’t understand it until later.” I feel like that is also heavily true. English teachers give us all kinds of books to read and we never fully understand them the first time. Everytime you read you get a different idea for what the story is trying to tell you. All in all, go...

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13:21 Sep 26, 2023

Thanks, Marie! This was a blast to write. "The Catcher in the Rye" has never been more relevant, I think. And as an annoying English teacher, I often try to pound in the amazing life lessons found in classic and modern lit -- often to no avail. (Pearls before teenagers, haha.) Thanks for the read and the wonderful commentary.

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03:12 Sep 26, 2023

Great thriller. Right when I thought I knew where things are going, that was such a huge twist. "sold." and then this line had such a huge emotional impact... “When you’re kidnapped, people look for you.” Cassidy lit a cigarette. “No one is looking for any of us.” You also integrated The Catcher in the Rye so well into this. I've seen that done in novel length books, but this is the first time i've seen it in a short story and you make it work well. Thought the snappy ending was refreshing also, I enjoyed that more than some of the long dr...

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13:48 Sep 26, 2023

Thanks for reading, Scott. I vote yea on literary quotes (woohoo!) and nay on icky torture scenes. I'm valiantly working on saying as much as possible in as few of words as possible <-- there's gotta be a better way to say that. Maybe Strunk & White had it right (write): "Omit needless words." On an egomaniacal perspective, I'd love to see this story made into a short film. Casting would be very fun...

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Joan Wright
22:04 Sep 23, 2023

Great story! Loved the way you tied it to Salinger. Ended with a question and that was right to the prompt. Your descriptions are amazing. I could see the restaurant as well as the truck. Your characters all came alive although barely described. Thank you for sharing.

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13:50 Sep 26, 2023

Thanks for reading :) I've been writing a lot of damsels in distress of late. It's always fun to cheer them on in a good vs. evil scenario. Wish fulfillment, I'm sure. The world could use a few more heroes and heroines these days :)

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Danie Holland
13:50 Sep 23, 2023

Fine, you’ve convinced me. It’s time to reread The Catcher in the Rye. I love a good damsel in distress who rescues herself instead of waiting for others who never come. Thank you for the story!

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13:55 Sep 26, 2023

Maybe just read the Spark Notes (haha) or Shmoop https://www.shmoop.com/study-guides/literature/catcher-in-the-rye (Who are we kidding? The best quotes are probably on TikTok...haha)

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Danie Holland
14:03 Sep 26, 2023

So true!

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Stevie Burges
08:10 Sep 23, 2023

Ooooh, from the first paragraph, I was almost too afraid to carry on reading. It's a great story despite terrifying me. Loved the ending. I was prepared to be Joslyn's backup if she had any trouble from those two driving the van. Great story.

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13:56 Sep 26, 2023

You're a valiant wingman. Thanks for protecting my girl.

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04:51 Sep 23, 2023

I love this! so haunting, so powerful. I was so relieved by the end. You are such a talented author, provoking so much emotion in such a small story. The narration was raw and saddening, while also tough-provoking. I love the use of the quotes. My favorite line was, “Everyone reads that in high school. You just don’t understand it until later.” it really stuck with me. "Well done!

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13:58 Sep 26, 2023

Thanks, Alexandra! Fun fact ... I've just read part of "The Catcher in the Rye." (The middle can be skimmed..........) TBH, it's about 100 pages too long. (Sorry, J.D.) Still, solid themes and relatable characters. Great line here: “The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”

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