Dialog

“What a nice day for our walk, right babe? Can you believe it’s almost November and we are still in the high sixties? The sky looks so blue. You know what it reminds me of – the color of your eyes when we were younger! I know, I know, I sound silly when I giggle like a teenager at my age. But I can’t help it. I fell in love with your eyes first… and then everything else. You had such nice long hair, do you remember? I thought I literally never saw a man more handsome than you! And when you spoke to me for the first time, your voice sounded so sexy! 

Do you remember when was the first time we went on a walk

together? I do! I think I was about fourteen when you walked me home for the first time. I remember I couldn’t say a word. I was so excited! My stomach was all in knots and I wanted to impress you so much but was also afraid I will sound stupid. So, I was just walking next to you afraid to breathe and listening to your every word. And when you left, I was up all night thinking

about you, remembering how you were brushing your hair out of your eyes. It was windy and almost dark by the time we got to my building and you zipped up my jacket to the top to make sure I was warm. It was very awkward and wonderful.

We didn’t know how to behave around each other or how to say goodbyes. I think you actually shook my hand before you left.

Funny, how this day makes me so sentimental. Did you think

then that thirty-five years later we would still be together? Me neither! True, I was dreaming and hoping that you will choose me but I was so young and shy.

Did you know that sometimes I wandered for hours around the building where you used to live? No? I sure did! I was missing you so much when we didn’t see each other but I was afraid to call first. Why? Because I thought you would think less of me. I didn’t want to be an annoyance to you but sometimes, when I didn’t hear from you for a while, I would convince myself that you were looking

for a way to get rid of me. I know it was stupid but I couldn’t help it – you were my first love. I was convinced we were soulmates and couldn’t think of anything or anyone else.

By the way, that is when I came up with that pet name for

you – Sunshine. Remember, how the song goes:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine …

Golden hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, blue eyes… When you were

in a good mood, your eyes were sparkling and smiling at me. I was mesmerized. What did I like the most about you? How modest of you to ask! Fine, since I started this, I will answer. I loved your dimples. It was so unusual to see them in a big guy like you. Well, if I’m being perfectly honest, I always thought your smile was your best feature.

Oh, you have such a dirty mind! I’m trying to be romantic

here but sure I loved all of you. That other part was always great too. But I think that wasn’t the most important thing between us. You were never sentimental or big on showing your emotions or feelings. But sometimes, when you would take my hand into yours and just hold it in the way only you did, I knew how you felt about me. It was so special, something that only the two of

us understood. Remember that time when you were really sick and ended up in the hospital? You were not completely back to your senses yet but you answered me when I took your hand interlacing your fingers with mine in your special way and I knew instantly everything will turn out fine. 

Oh, what a day! If we were still in the old place, it would

be a perfect time to go to the beach. Remember how much fun we had there? I always thought our first serious grown-up kiss happened at the beach - would you agree? I’m not counting the very first one by my building. I was so scared and excited that I think I didn’t really respond to you when you kissed me. But

it’s nice that you remember it after so many years. 

You know, it’s amazing that we didn’t fight much in

so many years. I know we had that big one when I almost decided to marry someone else. I’m so glad you swallowed your pride and came back for me! Imagine if you let me marry that little shit? Brrrr! I wouldn’t be happy without you, I’m sure of that. 

I’m sorry, I’m talking a lot today, not letting you put a word in! I guess I’m just feeling extremely lucky, you know? In today’s crazy

world of 2022, it seems like people are forgetting about what true romance is. How many people can say that their first love became their love forever? Whenever I hear how middle-aged women complaining in all these talk-shows about how they can’t find “the one” but yet no one is good enough for them, I wonder if they were truly so misfortunate in their lives or perhaps, they just threw

away their first love hoping for something better to come along and now regretting it. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with shivers thinking about what would have happened if I had let you go back then. What would my life be without you? Would I even know what it means to be really happy? Probably not … hard to tell when we know what we know, right? I’m so happy I have you in my life. Our memories are so precious. We saw each other grow and mature over the years, we had so many firsts, and we experienced

feelings that people only read about in books. 

How did we get so lucky, my Sunshine? We must have done

something right in life, both of us, to be awarded such a precious gift. I know I talk about it a lot but on a day like this, I just feel again like that teenage girl who saw you for the first time and her entire world just flipped upside-down. I will never get tired of saying it – I love you, babe, with all my heart. If possible, I love you more today than I did thirty-five years ago…

What am I dreaming about at this point in my life? It’s silly. If I tell you, you will make fun of me in that subtle sarcastic way you do. But fine! I can never say no to you. I hope and I pray that one day I will wake up and feel your hand on mine leading me out of this world and into the next one so we can stay together…always.  

Thank you for letting me blub all that nonsense. It’s

getting late so we should be heading back. Can we go again tomorrow? Hope the weather cooperates. Love you, my dear Sunshine, and miss you every day, every hour, every minute.”

She got up from a low stoop by the old little fence which

surrounded a simple grave. She gently brushed her hand on the gravestone in front of her before slowly walking away. The writing on the faded gray stone

read:

Remember us always 

1969-2000