It's going to be Okay

I ran through the cereal aisle of the local grocery store. A couple of strangers eyed me with concern.

I have to get out of here. I thought, feeling overwhelmed from being in a public place. I quickly checked out my items and went straight to my car, on the verge of tears.

"It's going to be okay, Minnie." My mom said, getting out of the driver seat to hug me. My mom and dad named me Minnie after Minnie from Mickey Mouse. I thought that the name was awfully childish now that I am 15.

There's that phrase again. Would it be okay?

My tear's started to disappear as Mom hugged me with her warm embrace. I couldn't believe I was having another panic attack. Whenever I go somewhere in public, after being there for longer than ten minutes, my anxiety washes over me and I cannot control my emotions.

"Why couldn't you have come in with me?" I asked, annoyed with my mom's decision to make me go in by myself.

"You have to learn to face your fear, Minnie." I sighed at Mom's answer.

Of course I had to. Little did you know that this will be impossible.

"Let's go home." Mom said, taking my hand to guide me to the car, as if I was unable to walk.

"Do you think I will ever be normal?" I asked, as Mom started up the engine of our car.

"You are normal. Just because you have a rare mental disorder doesn't mean you're not the same as everyone else." Mom reached over to brush my fingers.

My anxiety was rising as I entered the school building. Mom looped her arm through mine while squeezing my hand, Dad standing next to her.

"Why can't I be home schooled again this year?" I questioned, looking into my parent's eyes.

"Your doctor said that coming to a public school might cure your disorder."

"I highly doubt that." I muttered softly.

My parents didn't understand that I would at least have twenty panic attacks while at school.

"I know your worried, Minnie, but you can get through this. Have a good first day, bye." Mom said, suddenly, untwisting her arm from mine. She gave me a hug and Dad kissed my forehead. I watched them walk off into the distance, my vision blurry because of the tears that were developing in my eyes.

"Hey. Are you new here?" Someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around, unaware of the glare that was plastered on my face.

"My name is Rachel." She gave me a friendly smile, despite the fact that I was still glaring at her.

"Hi." I squeaked, sounding very socially awkward.

"It's going to be okay." Rachel said, looking me in the eye.

"How did you know I'm scared?" I asked, shocked by her mind reading ability.

"You're shaking." Rachel said, motioning to my hands.

"Oh. I am." I said, embarrassed.

"I'll walk you to class." Rachel grabbed my hand, even though we barely knew each other.

"How do you know what class I am supposed to go to?"

"I just know." Rachel winked at me.

"Minnie you haven't had a panic attack at all today. You usually have them after being in a public place for more than ten minutes." Rachel said to me, as the last bell rang, indicating that school had ended.

I gaped. "How did you know.."

Rachel started talking before I could finish. "Are your parents picking you up?"

"Yeah. I see them right now. Thanks for helping me."

"Of course. See you tomorrow."

"How many panic attacks did you have?" Dad asked as soon as I sat down in the car.

"I didn't have any, which is strange." I said, still shocked by the number.

"That's great, Minnie! Your doctor is smarter than you think." I could see Mom smirking through the rear view mirror

"It is." I said.

As soon as I got out of my parent's car, I looked around the crowds of people to find Rachel. She promised that she would meet me in front of the school. I couldn't see Rachel anywhere.

"Have you seen Rachel?" I asked someone near me.

"Who's Rachel?" He asked.

"My friend."

"You have to be more specific than that. I'm afraid I can't help you."

I glared at him and continued to ask random people. Everyone of them didn't know who Rachel was. I described what she looked like, glowing blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, an appearance that could stand out in any crowd.

After a few minutes of asking, a girl dragged me to the office of the school's principal.

"Mrs. O'Connor, I think she might need some assistance." The girl said, not calling me by my name.

"Thank you. I'll take care of this." Mrs. O'Connor motioned for the girl to leave.

"Have you seen a girl by the name of Rachel anywhere?" I described Rachel's appearance to her, making sure every detail was on point.

Mrs. O'Connor looked through her student files on her laptop and couldn't find anyone that matched the description.

"I'm afraid this Rachel doesn't go to this school. I'm sorry." Mrs. O'Connor said.

"Oh, thanks for your help."

The rest of the day, I was confused.

Was Rachel just a part of my imagination? What happened to her? I constantly asked myself throughout the day.

After school, I had a doctor's appointment to check up on my mental disorder.

"Minnie, your mom has told me that you're panic attacks have gone away." My doctor said.

"That's correct." I answered. Mom squeezed my hand, clear excitement in her eyes.

My doctor finished up some tests and looked up to meet my eyes.

"You're disorder had been cured." He said with a smile.

"This is wonderful news!" Mom said, turning to look at me.

"I have a question." I said, interrupting the excitement.

Mom nodded at me, indicating that I could speak.

"Yesterday I met a friend at school, her name was Rachel. As soon as I met her, my panic attacks stopped happening. I didn't think much of it but I think Rachel cured my disorder. However, today when I went to school I found out that Rachel never existed. I'm wondering, who was Rachel?" I asked, as if this was some riddle.

"I have no idea." My doctor said after pondering about it.

"We better go, Minnie. I'm sure your father will want to celebrate." She winked at me.

While walking out to the car, a thought came to mind.

What if Rachel was my inner self? Telling me that everything was okay and helping me face my disorder. Rachel,or my inner self, helped me face my fears and fight my mental disorder. It hadn't been Rachel who cured my disorder, but rather myself. I smiled at this revelation and heard Rachel's voice in the back of my mind.

"I told you everything would be okay."

The End