Burning Skies

- That's it! Do you get me? We gotta go back, - the man yelled.

- No. I gotta be there.

- You'll die there. How do you not get it? Everything we're doing is so messed up. We're done. Hear me? Done. - His voice was drowned out by the chaos. The crowd around them was screaming and running away.

We were stuck in this war zone. I knew there was only one way to end it, - leave. Right now. Stop acting like yourself, pretend that nothing is happening around, just start over. But it was my life. I have been working my whole life to become a famous war photographer. I've been to so many places and seen so many deaths. I'm not sure that I can stop it all and get rid of all these years. I lost my family because of my dream. I left everyone behind just because they decided to stay put. I remember the last chat with my dad when he told me that I would let myself die. I swore to him that I would be back before him, harvesting the garden. But he was right. And here we are.

- John, you can leave. I can't.

- You're just crazy. We're stuck here. They said there will be a window when we can get out of here and hope that no one will follow us. Please let me do this for us. They're holding two spots for us on a rescue vehicle. Please. We have to do this. We're just photographers. This isn't our war.

I stopped listening to him a while back because I saw a guy who got shot in the chest and fell on the street. I got a little closer and took a picture, then another one, and another one even closer. I left my cover and didn't even realize it. I looked at John, and he was scared. I looked up and saw the guy who did the shooting. He pointed the gun at me, and I jumped. He shot twice while I was trying to hide behind the overturned police car. All sounds suddenly went silent.

The small ladybug sat on my palm. She was beautiful. I couldn’t help but smile because I hadn’t seen such a nice bug lately. I hadn’t seen any of them lately, the same with animals. Only hungry dogs were everywhere. But they were fed properly, you know. I raised my hand a little and checked her out through the sunlight. It was like a miracle. Time stood still, and everything slowed down. She wasn't in a rush, just calmly making her way to my fingertip. She climbed onto my nail and spread her wings. Three, two, one... and she took off! I followed her with my eyes until she disappeared into the distance.

The gunfire stopped, and I felt someone grab my hand, pull me out of there, and put me in a military vehicle.

- Any, we should leave.

Of course, it was John. He always had my back and never left me behind. We've been friends since school. He was the one who didn't think I was crazy for wanting to be a war photographer. He wanted to be one too. We promised to work together and trust each other. We agreed that if either of us said no, we wouldn't do it. It's a pact we've always followed until today. He was right that we should leave, but I was so close. So close to the front line.

- It's too dangerous. I know what you're thinking about. We chose this path, we chose to be here, but we need to be smart. We can get there, but we might not get out of there.

- I know, John. I know. I just can't go back to my family. I wasn't kind the last time I spoke with them.

- Don't blame yourself, Any. You can come with me if you want. We need a break from all this chaos. You've taken enough photos to post. Everyone knows your name. Just stop.

I really liked John's way of thinking, that's why we got along so well. He was my trusted friend, my guide, my rational explanation for why I am still here and alive. John was my best friend, my brother, and my dad at the same time. And he wanted to stop.

- John, I sense that you're afraid. You've changed. When we started doing this, you were a different person, and now... You have so much fear. Why is that?

- I just don’t want to be killed. I want to look at the sun, feel the wind, run in the morning, drink a cup of strong coffee without sugar, read the paper, and pretend that everything is over. I want a family, Any. Don’t you want one?

- I don't know the right answer.

- There is no right answer. Just think about why we are doing it. There is only one end to this story.

I was looking at John. He was tired, his face was covered in dirt and dust, his shirt was ripped and torn, and there was no light of curiosity or passion in his eyes. He was empty like a bottle of beer. I knew him well, and it was a sign that he definitely needed to stop. I silently nodded and turned my face toward the battle zone. We were driving out.

That was a huge part of my life. I spent so many years. We were together all the time. If he needs time, I will give it to him. He deserves it. And I should be here by his side, just because we are a team. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, so I am going to be with him as much time as he needs me. It's not easy for me. Because I want to be there. That was my life, full of danger and moments that I will never forget. I will try to find a way to talk to my family one day. Maybe in a year or a few years, but not now. I am not ready yet. Maybe I will come to love living a simple life like others, or maybe not.

- John, I am with you.