Dear Diary

Dear Diary, I know, how cliche. I usually have a way with words but only in the chaos of my mind. Today I got up and made my daily OCD ritual of list making. You know, Monday: coffee, get ready for work, make lunch, etc. It's my version of ground hog day. Good morning, Punxsutawney Phil. Work is, you know, work, but today Jen and Travis had a lover's quarrel in the stairwell. Apparently, Jen gave Travis an ultimatum about coming clean to the wife. He didn't, they never do, some think murder is the better and easier way out. I better keep an eye on the health of Travis's wife. HAHAHA I'm so funny. I wish Danny thought I was funny, or smart, or pretty, or just noticed me. I'm a zero in his world. He is the finest man God ever put breath into, sometimes I can't get any work done. I felt depressed after work and treated myself to a double cheeseburger, large fry and a diet coke. Like why bother with the diet soda, but I've gotten used to the taste. Night list: Laundry, outfit ready, listen to my neighbor's nightly fight. I actually look forward to it. Nite, Nite Diary. Maybe I should give my diary a name.

Dear Rita: I named my diary as St. Rita, the saint of the impossible. C'mon Rita, be with me today. She's probably out sick.

Tuesday: coffee, walk a mile on my unused treadmill. No more Groundhog Day in my life. If I want things to change, I have to make that happen. My therapists says there are 2 roads in life, the one you keep going down with the same results, why not try the other road? Lunch is a salad kit that my mother snuck in my fridge she thinks discretely. It stands out next to the cheeses, cookie dough, and processed deli meats. Today my boss was a moron; more than usual...her secretary is smarter than her and she's not that smart! Oh, there I go again being so funny. Off to work, a new day, a new dawn!

Dear St. Expedite: I changed my diary name cause Rita made my day hell and is also my boss's name. He is the Saint of lost causes and is believed to be quick and answer prayers. It just got worse as the day wore on. My lunch was slimy and old, apparently it expired last week. I did peek at it but not very well. It's my mother's fault. The cafe meal was Taco Tuesday; I love me some taco, but it didn't love me back. The meat medley had refried beans in it which I didn't digest very well. I'm in the breakroom with only Danny, I bend over to pick up my 80-calorie snack bar wrapper and yes it happened. I farted, I still can't believe it happened. My body betrayed me in front of all people, why not 80-year-old Bob, or stinky June? WHY DANNY. Saint Rita has to be drunk. A saint of good wishes wouldn't do this. Bob does it all the time, if he was in the room I could've at least blamed him. Danny looked surprised, tried to control his laughter, and hurriedly left the room. I wanted to hit him over the head hard enough, so he got amnesia. My luck I would hit him too hard and kill him. Well unless I want to quit my job and live with my parents or be homeless....

Dear Journal (let's try that), I don't believe in the saints of wishes and even goodwill so.... thank goodness it's the weekend. I went for a long walk in the park today and had a coffee at that new coffee cart. Def going again. Then I went to the grocery store and refused to put anything fattening in my carriage. If it's not in my cabinet then I won't eat it, I'm still upset with that choice. Made fish, rice cup and a boring vegetable, I seemed to forget what it was. I'm so dreading work Monday. I should say I have Covid. That will give me time to get a new job, ugh. Went to bed early and dreamed of ice cream. I'm giving this diary thing a break tomorrow. I'm going to relax all day maybe read one of the tons of books I have. I think I'll stalk Danny on Facebook, see what he is up to. Note to self: DO NOT like anything or he will know you're spying on him because you are not friends. The hell with it order DoorDash for dinner Sunday. Chinese, pizza, a sub, mmm.

Dear whoever it may concern, well It's Monday so coffee, get ready for work, bring water and tea, no food. Can't take a chance, stop at pharmacy and get Pepto Bismol. Don't go in breakroom at all, don't temp fate. I keep telling myself Danny farts, everyone does over 10 times a day (I googled it). I wish Danny would fart, so we'd be even. So, think all day about what's for dinner, because I'll be so hangry. Bring a snack in car for the ride home. Oh, got to go it's 8:05 and the neighbors are already fighting.

Dear Diary, so yes back to that. Yesterday was a great day, I was so nervous about going to work I felt sick. No one looked at me funny and the best part Danny actually smiled at me and said hi! He offered me a piece of his candy, and I took it and put it in my pocket even though I wanted it so bad. I don't get it maybe if I fart some more, he will ask me on a date. Hahaha, there I go again. Even if we just stay friends, I'm ok with that. Then my boss says what a great job I'm doing and gave me a small raise. The best one yet is I lost 2.5 pounds and last but not unimportant, my expired coupon for 30 per cent off my anti gas meds worked at the store. Who needs a Saint with wishes and dreams?

They must only grant the big ones. Starting today I'm going down the other road my therapist suggested. So, I'm staying positive today, do not bend over at work ever, bend at the knees.