CLASSIC!
I used to be king. People yearned for me. I was the best of the best. Sure, there were others that promised to do the same things that I did, but they never were as fantastic as me.
I was a god.
I am the iPod Classic, 2007 model, 160 gigs. Primo. I can hold thousands and thousands of songs, not to mention photos and videos. I have an actual hard drive built right in—almost infallible.
My name is just “Classic.” No generation number, no brackets after my name, just Classic. Which I am.
No internet connection, so no hacking. Networks go down? I still work. Phone towers go dark? I still work. If it’s the end of the world, and you’re still here, get yourself an iPod classic. My battery works, literally, for ever.
You can listen to all your own music. No monthly subscription fees—all my music is purchased, not rented. Artists were paid for their songs on the iPod. And none of that playlist nonsense. You make your playlists from your music. You don’t have to listen to some no-name recording of a song, or the subpar live recording—unless you want to—because it’s in your playlist. None of your songs are going to disappear because you forgot to pay your bill. Your music is your music. You paid for it.
And, that would be my sales pitch. If it were 2007. People would crowd into Apple outlets, vying for my attention. I flew off the shelves. It didn’t matter that I cost four hundred dollars, or over six hundred dollars in today’s money. Stores that carried the Classic were always running out of inventory. It was just that popular.
But it’s not 2007. It’s 2025, and in terms of tech, I’m a dinosaur. In fact, I’m extinct because Apple stopped making iPods in 2022. The powers-that-be decided the iPhone could be everything they needed. Phone, camera, hand-held computer, and, sadly, music player.
Don’t get me wrong. I know that progress is important. If it weren’t, we would still be listening to our music on wax cylinders—not very practical for walking around. But still, without the iPod, would the developers have thought of putting music on a phone? Maybe, but you don’t know what you don’t know.
The iPod is to the iPhone as the Walkman is to the iPod. If we’d never had the Walkman, would we have known how much people love to listen to their music while on the move? So, thank you, Sony, for making me possible.
Now if I could hear the same sentiments from the iPhone ….
I’m hoping that I’ll come back as a retro must-have. I’m betting on the hipsters and Gen Z to believe in my merits. After all, aren’t they the ones who’ve helped vinyl made a comeback?
There’s nothing more satisfying than the click-click-click of the wheel as your finger races around the centre scroll wheel trying to find the song that you want. There was no “search” feature because there was no keyboard. You had to consider all of your music. If you wanted to listen to Warren Zevon or Zydeco, you had to scroll all the way to the bottom. Tedious, yes, but also very satisfying.
Are you listening hipsters? I promise that there is no better way to listen to an entire album than to find it in your library, and just play it. It’s not like the streaming services that never actually have the entire album, or populate it with other “similar” music someone thinks you might like. It’s old school, but it’s good school. You’re gonna want to find yourself a mint iPod Classic.
Some people still use me. Why? Because I’m not a phone, and I can play all the music they want. If you want some obscure indie band that’s only sold a hundred CDs (yes, they still put music on CDs), then buy the music and upload it to your iPod. You can’t do that on a smart phone. (I know you can actually put your music on your phone, but nobody does because there’s music streaming.) And because I have 160 gigs of space dedicated solely to music, revel in all your obscure indie music. You deserve it.
But until the retro revolution gets to the iPod, I’m relegated to the back of the junk drawer, or worse, to the dusty corners of a pawn shop display case, waiting for just the right person to see me and fall in love all over again. Because I’m worth it. I’m a Classic.
SOMETHING SHORT
“Grandpa, tell me about when you were young?”
“Okay, Harry, what do you want to know?”
“Did you have Netflix when you were a kid?”
Grandpa laughed. “No, Harry, I did not have Netflix.” He smiled at his grandson, knowing what was coming next.
“Prime?”
“Nope.”
“Disney+?”
“Nope.”
“Apple TV?”
”Hulu? Paramount+? Peacock?”
“No, Harry, we didn’t have any streaming services. They weren’t invented yet.”
Harry looked equal parts confused and horrified. “How did you watch your shows?”
Grandpa smiled at his grandson. He knew this was going to blow his mind. “Well,” he started. “There were only about ten television channels.
“Only ten channels? That’s not enough channels, Grandpa.”
Grandpan smiled. “It was enough. We didn’t have movies on the TV like you do now. We went to the movie theatre to watch movies.”
“No Movie Channel! What did you watch?”
“Well, we would look up the shows that we wanted to watch in the TV Guide—”
“What’s a TV Guide?”
“That was a weekly magazine that listed all the shows on television that week.”
“That’s weird! Why didn’t you just look it up on your phone?”
“We didn’t have smartphones. Our phones were on the wall.”
“WHAT? On the wall? Just hanging there? How could you take it to school?”
Grandpa couldn’t help it, he laughed. “Harry they were called landlines, and were hardwired to the house. That phone wasn’t going anywhere. We all used the same phone.”
“Everybody used the same phone!” Harry shook his head. “No way, Grandpa! That's some scary stuff—no streaming, using TV books to find what's on, no smartphone, phones on the wall!” He stared at his Grandpa. “You were living in the Dark Ages! I’m so glad I’m alive now.”
Grandpa laughed again. “Wait until I tell you about having to get up and turn the channel because there were no remote controls.”
Harry turned and ran from the room.
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2 comments
The iPod Classic’s narration was brilliantly nostalgic and charming, a perfect embodiment of old-school tech pride. I especially loved the line: "There’s nothing more satisfying than the click-click-click of the wheel as your finger races around the centre scroll wheel trying to find the song that you want.”—it captures that tactile joy modern devices lack, making it easy to connect with the iPod's sense of loss and hope for a retro revival. Great story, well-crafted, and a fun read—thank you for sharing such a clever perspective!
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Thank you, Mary. Sixteen years later I still use my iPod. It’s dependable, it’s rugged, and it has all my obscure and eclectic (and chart topping) music from all over the world on it. It doesn’t have Bluetooth connectivity, so there are headphones involved. It has been to six of the seven continents, has travelled back and forth across Canada and the US at least a dozen times, and it loves to go camping. I will morn my iPod when it can no longer play my music. Thanks for taking the time to read my stories. I truly appreciate the time...
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