INNOCENCE MISPLACED

I realised it now, what I had lost...….

My mind was full engaged in the work and my body was now accustomed with the hustle and bustle of life. Who could afford to take a break from work, like is it even possible? I had many goals to achieve and I could not afford to take a break. One evening, I was as usual busy in completing my assignments and unfortunately the lights went off. It was raining and the breeze was cool, I could work even then but, at that juncture I wasn't in that mood. I kept my laptop aside and went towards the window which was apparently closed. I opened them and the winds passed across me as if they were waiting for the window to be opened. The wind was not just passing by, but it was loving me. I kept standing there and honestly the feeling was amazing. I gazed at the leaves, the raindrops, the sky and the clouds. Everything had a story. The leaves seemed happy as the dust had finally vanished and they appeared more bright. The raindrops were happy as they were touching the soil. The clouds had shed tears and now they felt light. Amidst this scene, I could see someone climbing the tree, struggling to pluck at least one fruit. I could see someone dancing on the grass on the beats of the rain drops and I could see someone jumping on the muddy water and laughing. Oh! That was me. I was the girl, dancing, jumping, laughing and enjoying myself with the nature. Everything around me seemed very happening and joyful but, it was me who was puzzled. Everything seemed to be fresh and delightful but, I was standing clueless.

I realised it now, what I had lost. It was MY CHILDHOOD.

When did it slip from my hand I didn't even realise? My work made me so busy that I forgot that I have to live a life and not just fulfill my priorities. This life is the lord's gift and I was offending it by not being happy. Yes, I had lost it and indeed it was a valuable one, though it's not an object but it is precious. I felt light when I was a child because I never kept things within my heart, I never ran behind materialistic things and I knew it was my life and I wanted to smile. I came across the fact that I was beautiful when I was a child not because I didn't have any pimples and dark circles, but the secret was that I wore my natural smile. I didn't even attempt to find it, maybe because I didn't realise the loss. I have misplaced many things in my life but, when this has gone missing, it has given me pain.

I had never seen myself so happy and so carefree. All the recollections of my childhood was just in front of me. Out of nowhere I had a glimpse of my childhood. I questioned myself that was the universe trying to show me the reality of my life. If that was the case, then yes I saw the reality and I very well realised what I was and what I am. Nobody told me that I will lose my childhood when I grow, but it was me who actually forgot that. I was chasing my goals and in this race I left my dreams behind. The basic necessities of life became my priorities and my dreams remained dreams only. I had almost forgotten that it was my life and I had interpreted it as a marathon and began running. I agree that the time was running but, I could not afford to let go my golden days as a child. I wanted to be a child again, not for that moment but for rest of my life. The universe gave me a choice - happiness or loneliness. I chose for the first one and I believe I did the right thing. I had to show it to my heart that I am back and for that I opened my door and went out with that excitement which I had when I used to go out for playing. The rain seemed never ending, maybe it was welcoming me for the beginning of my life again.

The girl who stepped out right now, was me. I was delighted as I finally found what I misplaced, my happiness which lies in my childhood. I have promised my heart that I will keep the child alive in me till my last breath. Being a child has nothing to do with age, but it is imperative to be young from heart if you want to be happy. It isn't that a child lacks maturity, but the fact is that, a child's innocence wins the hearts of many people. We often feel that childhood is just a phase of life which have to pass, we fail to understand that a child never dies, we are the ones who do not hear the child's voice or I would say that we purposely don't hear it. We wish to do so many things but, it is the belief that we are grown ups and we have to be mature and many such things. Let the child within you live, then see the world will get tired of running and you will be happy, you will be smiling. Don't let your innocence die.

I found what I had misplaced and have taken a vow to protect it, because I have accepted this as true that my life belongs to me and I am responsible for my happiness. I will live my childhood days always.

"You admire your childhood, looking at photos and toys,

Dive within yourself and see your heart eager to be a child again,

World will be busy in craving for materialistic things,

But you be the one, whom your heart wants you to be."

- KRISHIKAA MISHRA

(A sixteen year girl who wants to be a child forever because she respects the gift of the god.)