the divorce

Mom1@internet.com;

    I’m writing to tell you I’ve decided to seek help through therapy for childhood upsets. Can you please fill in some memory blanks that I have? I believe I have daddy issues, and since dad has passed away, I can’t ask him. It may get hard at times, but I would appreciate your honesty and support as I’m trying to heal through therapy.  

Goodgrandma123@internet.com;

    Sure, honey I am proud of you and will try to help out anyway I can. I truly did the best I could and apologize for any hurt I may have caused you. Although I’m really unsure as to what I can do for you.

Mom1@internet.com;

       I know you did mom and thank you. However right now I’m really troubled by my relationship with my biological father or the lack there of. Can you tell me more about my dad and your divorce from him? I’m confused and this is the story that has stuck in my head.

  My dad was controlling and wasn’t very nice to you. And at some point, in the relationship he even shot a bow and arrow at you in the upstairs bedroom of his mothers’ house. And then for some reason in 1978 he won custody during the divorce. I think I remember a conversation that maybe you didn’t want him seeing us.

Goodgrandma123@internet.com;

Oh, I’m sorry honey maybe I told you to much when you were to young. We met when I was 16 and he was 20yrs Old and I fell head over heels in love with him. We would spend all night at the water’s edge talking about our future; and I just knew I was going to marry him. He had just lost his father who was a very abusive man. He was still living at home with his mother and they owned a bait shop. This is what I signed up for (and it got me away from my childhood home you know how that was). After the first year he started to drink more often. He turned 21 and spent more time at the bars. And yes, one night he did come home and shoot a bow and arrow at me he thought it was funny and apologized profusely for it, so I forgave him.

The years passed without incidence. we had your brother and sister and then we moved out of Bushis house. Now when we got our own place things got a little tougher as I was expected to still take care of him and the children and the house. By this time, I’m 21 yrs. old and I’m pregnant for you. I have extremely low blood sugar, but we don’t know it yet. My tongue swells so I slur my words. And I’m getting dizzy and feel like I’m drunk. Hell, I’m acting like I’m drunk your dad won’t believe that I’m not drunk. He gets so enraged he puts his hands on me again and especially while I’m pregnant. And I’m sorry but I just can’t live like that I call the police once he leaves, they pick him up at a local bar. This gives my mother and myself time to gather our things and we go stay with grandma and grandpa and I file for divorce.  He never won custody. And I always encouraged a relationship with you kids and your dad. However, I think you were just to young before the move to remember anything.

Mom1@internet.com;

Wow so he hit you when you were pregnant. Sorry my dad did that to you.

I don’t really have a memory of dad when I was little. I have a memory of minnow fishing with him. And being in a restaurant and him making me put chocolate milk in my cereal. Also, I recall a story of camping with him and Uncle Joes boys and they were packing up everything to leave, and every time he put the stuff in the van, I would throw it back out. (I think maybe we lived in Marquette or Cadillac). Then I think we move to Colorado? Did he have private detectives looking for us?

Goodgrandma123@internet.com;

No need to apologize for your dad honey. You do know I still love him as your father to this day.

Your right we lived in Cadillac and Marquette. I’m not sure about the stories your remembering though I know you did visit with your dad a lot. When we lived in Cadillac, he would get laid of from his job, he would come for weeks at a time to visit. He would take you guys camping, minnow fishing, and just anywhere to get you out of the house. To fill in those blanks I think you would be better off talking to your older brother and sister they may recollect.

Then we did move to Colorado. That’s when I married your brother Mikes dad. At that time, he did not have private detectives looking for us.

Mom1@internet.com;

Ok ill talk to my siblings and see what they can remember. Why did he tell a story about private detectives?

Goodgrandma123@internet.com;

Well that’s a long story but basically, it didn’t work out with mikes dad we moved back to Michigan. Then Some friends and I received a job offers in Texas. Your dad didn’t want his kids leaving the state again but, I wasn’t leaving my kids behind so, I took you without his or the courts permission. As, I hear through the grapevine your dad gets a private detective searching for us.

I don’t want to get in trouble so, one of the friend’s daddy Jim that I moved to Texas with offers to marry me and give me his last name. We go to the courthouse and get married and changed my last name to his. Then its time for school to start and we realize they will find you kids. So, back to the courthouse we went and changed your last name too.

Mom1@internet.com;

I remember daddy Jim and living with him. Thank you for clearing some of this up for me. I appreciate your support and candor. I’m sure I will have a lot more questions as my therapy and healing continue.