Back to Square One

Back to Square One

She taught everyone who desired to learn… anything using needles. My mother loved to sew and embroider because of her. Crocheting was our thing. Grandma Rainey’s favorite saying was, “Get back to square one.” It makes sense that her only published book be named Back to Square One. Not only did she sew, do needlepoint and crochet, but she was the “Knitting Queen.” She was so knowledgeable about the subject of yarns. If someone came to Grammy with questions about how to get started, she’d ask up to five questions:

1)       What do you want to make?

2)       When do you need it?

3)       What colors?

4)       Is it for function or decorative?

And most important

5)       Do you know how to knit or crochet?

Rarely did she hear a confident YES, or one that convinced her that the lady in front of us knew how to honor the crafts that she loved!

I was 10, glued to her side, and a sponge. I also lugged around a tape recorder to capture every lesson she gave.

If they wanted to learn crocheting, she’d charge them $6 for a crochet hook, four skeins of yarn, and $7 for knitting. Knitting needles were more expensive because they were the most popular. She would purchase the necessary resources to get started. She said four skeins of yarn were enough to hook those serious and frustrate those who hated the process. She realized some people didn’t know how intense learning a hobby could be. I just think it was Grammy’s boot camp teaching method.

 Their first lesson was to roll the skeins into a ball. Lesson two was how to begin a chain. If they made something out of the four skeins, Grammy would accompany the student to the Yard Bazaar, Grammy’s favorite place other than church. They would also receive an invitation to the advanced class into the inner circle of the Quilting Ladies’ Club.

 This club was exclusive. Most of the members are grandmas who have been quilting for over twenty years. Some have been doing this craft for over five decades. These good-hearted women love sharing their wisdom, tricks, and the small world of quilters with the younger generations. The club members meet at each other’s houses every week.

Grammy, a quiet person, only sings Hymns when cleaning or on Sunday morning while cooking breakfast before church. When they come to Grammy’s, she puts on her “high-society hat,” one of her Sunday dresses, and lays out a buffet spread. My cousin Lisa and I were allowed to attend the lunch portion of the day, but we were banished to the back bedroom no soon after we ate our last cucumber finger sandwich. Lisa and I giggled as the conversation died down and turned to cackles. From the sound of the glasses clanging, Grammy broke out the Blackberry wine she keeps in the vegetable crisping drawer.

When the Quilting Ladies Club met on the first Thursday of every month, they discussed church business and planned the next quilting project. They have knitted stocking caps for newborns at Greensville Memorial Hospital in Emporia, Virginia, and Halifax Memorial Hospital in Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. There were six ladies from Emporia and only four from two different counties in North Carolina. It was six and six, but they lost two members in May 2016. They hadn’t looked to replace their friends.

That was seven years ago…

We lost Grammy in 2021. She passed in her sleep on the very day of her 100^th birthday. Cousin Lisa and I have come to finalize her affairs and to sell this big house. Every time I visited this property, it still felt like that summer I tagged along with Grammy Rainey, trying to learn how to knit. I never mastered knitting, unlike Lisa, who loves to.

I was ten, and Lisa was 7 when my mom let me begin spending summers with Grammy. We were wide-eyed and curious about everything. I enjoyed crocheting, and Lisa mastered knitting. The tape recordings of the many lessons we will publish as: Back to Square One in honor of Rainey Lee Arrington, better known as Grammy to everyone, even those outside the family. I was packaging up 75 years of memories… excellent and painful.

People who benefitted from Grammy’s classes still approach me wherever I am to tell me their Grammy stories. I wasn’t aware that she started teaching these classes in the evenings after school because she wasn’t allowed to teach knitting or crocheting during her home economics class. She taught for thirty-seven years. When she became a teacher in the forties, the administration called crocheting and knitting frivolous. They were also afraid that women would use knitting needles as a weapon. She wanted young women to have valuable and marketable skills. This was a time when the mentality was that a woman’s place is in the kitchen or the bedroom, not in the workplace…so small steps!

Someone shared the story about how my grandmother became everyone’s Grammy…

She would stand up for you when she thought you needed a champion. She’d cheer you on. She would never yell, scold or belittle anyone. She would give you the shirt off her back and even give a kidney to a stranger. Gale admitted, “I would be dead had it not been for Grammy.” Your grandmother took in so many young women over the years. Some needed to escape abusive relationships. Some were homeless after being kicked out by angry parents for getting pregnant.

Nothing phased Grammy…

Anyone that resided at 1640 Riverside was family from day one. That meant you were expected to be honest and productive and express your opinion freely. No past issues could keep you down, and no one could judge. Feeling sorry for yourself wasn’t accepted either. If you were school-age, you were expected to be enrolled and attending every day. If” you were in the family way,” you must attend childcare classes. Everyone was expected to learn to crochet or knit as a stress reliever…LOL!