Christmas Chatter with Family

Christmas Chatter with Family

I truly cannot believe it’s Christmas time again and my family can’t seem to get over what happened three years ago. I really want to spend this Christmas Holiday with them. Everyone makes mistakes and this time it was my mistake.  I feel lost and broken. If, I can just hear the Christmas chatter again. My family is my life and I want to celebrate with them. Thinking about Jim will not help me to overcome my fear of being without the one’s I love at this time of year. I know it’s my fault that some of our family secrets evolved at the dinner table. But when you are hurting you really don’t care who you lash out at. I had to tell someone that my two nieces were adopted, and that Jim and I were no longer seeing each other. He’s a big successful businessman that wants to have his cakes, cookies and pies and eat it too. It’s funny now but it wasn’t funny then. My two nieces Janet and Jonnie thought that their biological mother was on drugs and alcohol, but it was because she passed away of an overdose. The lies had to stop. This holiday is supposed to be a joyous and happy time of the year. It only left me here in this empty place sitting alone in my condo. I have all these fine furniture, fine clothing and expensive handbags and perfume and no family. It doesn’t mean anything if we don’t have family. “Whatever that means”.

I sit here day after day after a long day’s work at the office. I am a success Executive Director who hopes to be promoted any day now. I am the one that holds the business together. I remember sitting in a meeting and the CEO couldn’t recall any of the facts or the numbers of one his most successful accounts. Maybe, we can compromise. “Now why is my phone ringing”. I was just about to soak in a nice bubble bath”. Who could this be? “Hello”. My heart stops beating for a second. “Auntie Grace. It’s so good to hear your voice. How’s everyone doing? I wasn’t invited this year. I do not understand it either. I was only trying to help our family clear the air and do what is right. Janet and Jonnie do not deserve to be treated like outsiders. They are adopted but within our family. I wish the others would realize what a big mistake they are making by us not coming together as a family for Christmas. I love this time of year. “I’m without a boyfriend this year Auntie Grace”. She needs to know because she is so fond of Jim. Jim and I break-up every year. He gets this fear that I want to get married. I want to get married but not anytime soon. “Yes, Auntie Grace. Use your magic and see if you can convince the family to have me over for Christmas. We have three days until Christmas. I’ll talk to you later”.

“Now, I can take my bubble bath. I’ve been waiting for this all day long. I first need a glass of wine and candles and soft music”. I know Jim and I broke up. He is older than I am but not by much. Checking my phone every five minutes for a text from him doesn’t help much. I do wish he would call. If only he knew how much I love and miss him. But, not as much as I miss my family. While I soak away my fears, Auntie Grace is making phone calls to convince my family to have me over for Christmas. “If this is going to work, then I need to get gifts and lots of it”. After an hour-long bath, it’s time for an online shopping spree. I might walk around like I have it all together but deep down inside I am hurting. I want the love of my family and chatter that we have every year. But one family secret has cost us or me that moment. How could I be so foolish. This is truly painful and hard to swallow. “What do I do now”?

“Is it the next day already. Did I sleep”? I look across and see the beautiful sunshine beaming through my bedroom window. It feels good to work from home today but that is the furthest thing from my mind. I want to lie here all day and sulk or hope for good news. “Is that breakfast I smell. Is that a burglar whose here”. As I walk down the hallway, I see Jim. His strong muscular arms popping out of his Under Armour t-shirt and fitted jeans. He’s one of those men that you must do a double take. He takes my breath away every time I’m near him. I love him and I wish that he would be with me at Christmas. I’d love to have him on my arm. He looks over at me and smiles. In his baritone voice, “I made you breakfast”. I can’t resist his breakfast. He always has a big spread. I look over at the breakfast table and there are pancakes, waffles, sausage, bacon, French toast, fruit, butter and my favorite butter pecan syrup and of course orange juice. “Everything smells great”. He motions for me to sit as he waits on me. He is doing it. Maybe, we will be that couple. I have all of this but in the back of my mind all I can think about is Christmas with my family. “I pray that God hears my heart and my prayers”. After breakfast, he puts all the dishes away including the dishes needing to be washed in the dishwasher. He is the one that I want to spend forever with, but I must fix my family issues before I can commit. An hour of talking and laughing with Jim helped sooth my pain for a little while. Then he asked if we could get back together, and I couldn’t help but to say, “yes”. I will say yes, all day but then he sees the sadness in my eyes. I want to tell him everything but now is not the time. I kiss his hand as he gently rubs my face. He really made my day. After a great day with him reunited as a couple, I know something good will happen. Aside from spending time around my condo waiting for Auntie Grace to call. I peered out the window and all the gifts I order were overnighted and at my front door. I wrapped each gift with a smile as I look and admire my Christmas tree all decorated with shiny silver and red ornaments accent by lights. Now my Christmas tree is starting to feel the love. This still doesn’t change anything. I am waiting patiently for Auntie Grace to call with good news, but the day is far spent and nothing. It's Christmas Eve and I will be alone until Jim comes by later. “How about I order some Chinese food and enjoy my day with myself”. In the corner of my eye, I see a note that was slipped under my door. “What is the world”? I walk over to the front door and slowly peek out and no one is there. The letter is address to me with an unrecognizable handwriting. “Hmmm”. As someone afraid to hear bad news, “I will just put the letter on the table”.

Meanwhile, Auntie Grace was successful in getting everyone together for Christmas. Without me knowing she was having everyone come over to my place. I just assume that nothing was going her way. But little did I know everyone was packing their bags, making potluck to come over and surprise me after three years. Auntie Grace was that kind of person an aunt that can make people do what they don’t want to do at times. She had the wisdom of Solomon. My entire family is driving two hours to spend Christmas with me and here I am flipping the remote and feeling sorry for myself. “Why isn’t Auntie Grace calling me”. After being bored out of my mind, I take a drive to the market. “If I just get all the things that I think I need for Christmas just in case, I won’t look so bad in front of my family that I wish was coming to spend Christmas with me”. After an hour in the market, I return home and start prepping Christmas dinner. The string bean casserole, cornbread dressing, yams and my mom’s favorite carrot cake. “I can’t make it like she did but oh boy, it’s worth a try”. As, I dance around the kitchen cooking and prepping Jim shows up. He lends me a hand. After nearly two hours in the kitchen both he and I fell asleep on the chaise in the great room. “Yes, his manly arms are holding me tight, so I smile in between”.

After all that hard work, Christmas day has finally arrived. At seven o’clock in the morning my doorbell rings. “Oh my god, who in the world”. In my pj’s my hair all over my head and on top of that I have one of those lioness type yawns. “It’s just too much this early in the morning this better be good”. I open the door and to my surprise its Auntie Grace, Uncle Calvin, Janet, Jonnie, Steve, Diane and more of my entire family are coming much later. All the hugs and kisses one by one landed on my cheek and hugs on my shoulder. “I can’t believe it”. Auntie Grace sees the shock on my face, so she walks over to me and asks me about the letter. “Did you receive the letter? Oh, that letter”. The letter was sent to let me know that they were coming and that I had nothing to worry about. Tears immediately rolls down my face. Tears of joy. God really heard my prayer. “Wait a minute”. I run upstairs for a quick shower. I fix my hair put on my ugly sweater. Jim on the other hand, uses the guest bathroom to get ready and low and behold he has on his ugly sweater. As I walk down the hall into the kitchen the look on everyone’s face. As I looked around everyone in the room had on their ugly sweater. I just stood there and smile. My aunts were in the kitchen getting everything set for the family breakfast, lunch and Christmas dinner that will be later as well as the opening of gifts, while the others made themselves at home. It was the great surprise that did it for me.  

The conclusion of the matter is that my family Christmas was the one of the best I shared in three years. It was hard not having regular conversations with most of them because of the truth coming to light. When Janet and Jonnie got adopted, it was my Auntie Rita who adopted them. She passed away a year ago, so Auntie Grace stepped up to raise them. They are both fifteen years old and teenagers can be a bit challenging to raise. But through it all, we made it from those challenges, and we now can be family once again. I have my family and the love of my life with me, in one place and one room. At five o’clock it’s our tradition to exchange gifts, play games and enjoy each other’s company, but one gift that was given to me this year was my family. With that, Auntie Grace gave me a huge family portrait to hang over my mantle. This brought me to tears and really made me cry. With that said, I didn’t realize the importance of having family until now and the love we share is so genuine and I’m blessed that we all have for one another.  “Christmas Chatter is what matters most for me and I hope families around the world can feel the same love and experience the same chatter because it all matter. Until next time, Andrea Brown that’s me. I had to tell you my story before I could tell you my name so you can get the matter before the chatter”.