Today is the worst day in my life. After I leave from my mother funeral dress in my black suit. My mother was my best friend, the only person that knew all my secrets never told; raise me from crayons to pens, wipe away all my tears and loved me unconditionally. The love of a mother is incomparable to any love found anywhere. I love and treasure my mother with all my heart and soul, because without her my existence was impossible.
A mother love is special and priceless more than any diamonds, golds and pearls. My mother carried me in her womb for nine months, then went through painful labour losing blood, just to give me the opportunity to see daylight. I can never repay her for all the pain, love, care and support she provided me, but all I can do is forever give gratitude and appreciation.
There no word on earth to describe the personality of my mother and the love she had for me. I am walking around feeling like a knife is stabbing me in my heart. Oh! the hurt, pain and sadness, I feel inside is intense. I am like a car wheel with no air searching for gas station to put in air. I am hopeless woman searching for faith or happiness. I have shed so many tears, my eyes hurt like needles boring on them.
I am walking pass the Maryland playground. I am standing here looking around,the playground was created by the town ex-mayor for all the children in the community to play and have fun. It feels like it was just yesterday,but it was actually 20 years again, I had came here. I remember all the children and their parents on the playground. It had been beautiful, attractive, lovely sight but now it is being destroy to create a foreign company.
The playground was bought by a large foreign investment company. There was protest campaign by residents to keep the playground but unfortunately, they couldn't stop the new company from building. The play ground had been fill with children, joy, laughter, two swinger set, see- saw, slides, jungle gyms, sandboxes, spring riders, playhouses and chin-up bars ,but now It is fill with machines,trucks and sand. Oh! there it is the swinger set the only thing leave.
This swinger was my dream and childhood memories. When I was young child I had dreams about swinging on the swinger every night. The dreams felt joyful and real on this swinger, I never wanted to wake up for school and I would urinate my bed in excitement from these dreams. I named the swinger at the right side, Rosaline, when I was a child, I always swung on it alone. I named it after my favourite Colombia flower. I love the Colombia flower name Rosaline, it has an attractive appearance and a sweet perfume scent.
Rosalina ropes had grew old, I really want to take one last swing and I am scared that the rope would be weak. I swallow my fear, I sit slowly on the swinger, I exhale and inhale my breath. Then brace my shoes against the sand, up ! and down! in the air; the wind blow my hair like a bird feather in the air. My childhood memories quickly reborn.
When I close my eyes, my childhood memories become a sweet melody in my mind. I see my mother, when she was alive. I can smell and taste the candy, she had bought for me as young child. When she had brought me everyday after school to the playground to swung on the swinger. She would pushed me up and down in the air; my red ribbons danced in the breeze and my smile with my two rotten teeth in my mouth. I said, ''higher! and higher! mother.'' and my mother said,''I will push you, high like the birds in the sky.''
I would do anything to get a chance to go back to those precious memories and live them over again. I am so desperate I could invent a time machine to travel between time and space. I guess time machines will only work or exist in the movies. Time and death are my immortal enemies they always steal, hurt and break hearts. I hate time and death forever because of them, my mother is gone forever. I wish I could catch time and death put them inside a cage and torture them, so they could feel my pain. They have always enjoyed placing misery in my life it is time for a change. I curse you time and death!
I can feel her presence strong, as if she is here beside me. Mother are you here, oh! I feel this connection like electricity and water. While I am swinging on Rosalina up and down. I am thinking about all the past memories with my mother and this swinger. She made my childhood memories favourable, unforgettable. Now all I have to remember her is this old swinger,but soon this swinger will be removed by the company.
However, these sudden thoughts are coming to my mind. I am now realising, when people die their bodies and dreams die, but the only thing that doesn't die is their memories. My mother is dead but her memories live on inside me. I feel happiness and joy inside me, I feel alive again. I watch Rosalina and said, ''Goodbye, my old friend, I know it hurts when we lose things, but we can never lose memories of them, I will never forget you.''
I always thought death and time were the enemy of mankind, but I have learned a lesson from this swinger; the only enemy we have is within ourselves the fear of letting go and not holding on to our memories. From the visit to my childhood swinger, I have learn to let go of the past, live my life and cherish memories of my mother. When I thought today is the worst day, it turn out to be the best day in my life.
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