My Roots

I didn't want to be here; what was the point, I couldn't even take care of myself, and she wanted me to buy something that needed my attention to survive? At least it wasn't an animal, but the way my friend Mina talked, you would think this was a whole animal. But it wasn't, we were in a plant shop, and I was required to leave with something. I feel overwhelmed with all the options and do not know the difference between different plants. Because of this overwhelmed feeling, I grab the first plant I see and tell Mina that this is what I want. She looks at the name and laughs, saying that I would pick one that was harder to take care of. I begin to put it back, but Mina doesn't let me; she says the Calathea picked me and that I cannot return it. I don't know what she means by that, but I go along with it. If it dies, it dies. We go to the counter, and while paying, the cashier asks me what its name is; I say that it is a Calathea, but she stops me and says no, what are you going to name this plant. I'm confused about why I would name this plant, but Mina next to me says that every plant owner has to name their plant. I don't question it and call it the first thing to mind, "Serena.”

I take the plant home with me and try to remember all the instructions Mina gave me. She gave me instructions about water, how much sun it needed, and information about pots and soil. This was the stuff I was expecting, but the rest of what she said was still in my mind. She told me to talk to the plant and treat it like a living thing. I didn't know what she meant by this.

Talk to the plant? It couldn't hear, see, or comprehend; this wasn't an animal; why would I talk to it. I put that out of my mind and thought instead about how I would take care of the practical stuff, water, sunlight, and soil. When I got home, I put the plant on the table and immediately went to my room to lay down. I couldn’t stop thinking that I had to talk to this plant as I was lying there. What would I even say to it? Would it make any difference? As I fell asleep, I thought about all I would have to do to take care of the plant and myself. A few hours later, I woke up anxious, thinking about whether the plant needed water and where to put it. This was surprising to me; why did I care so much? I spent the next hour researching what I had to do for this plant and did everything it said. This continued for the next couple of weeks, but I noticed that the leaves didn't look as vibrant as they had when I first purchased them. I called Mina and asked her if I was doing anything wrong. After hearing my routine, she said everything I did was perfect, and then she asked, have you been talking to Serena? I hadn't been, and I couldn't lie to Mina about that, so I said I would try to. How does one even start talking to a plant? I began thinking of the plant as a person who wasn't feeling well. I asked how it was doing and if there was anything I could do to make it feel better if it was happy in the sun. I wasn't expecting a response, but I still felt ridiculous talking to something that couldn't respond. I decided that was enough talking and went about my day.

The next day I repeated this but only spent a few minutes asking the same questions. The day after, I had had a hard day at work and didn't want to talk to anyone. As I was taking care of the plant, I began telling it about my day. I realized after a while that I had spent about an hour talking. I felt a little bit ridiculous thinking about how I was talking to the plant and immediately stopped. But I strangely felt better. The next day, as I was taking care of Serena, I tried the same thing; I told her about my day and was surprised that I enjoyed this routine at home. After a few days of this, I noticed a difference in her; she looked more vibrant. I didn't want to admit it, but maybe Mina was right; perhaps they reacted to us talking to them. I began to add this to my routine every day as I took care of her, and I enjoyed everything about it. Our conversations gradually became longer and longer, and I told her everything. It got to the point where I would glance at the time and realize that it was midnight and we had been talking for hours. I say we because this was not a one-way conversation; Serena began to respond at some point.

One morning, I had to drag myself away from our conversation to go to work, and I remembered that Mina wanted to get drinks after work. I wanted to go home to Serena but knew that Mina was worried about how much time I was spending in my house. And maybe she was right; Serena was taking up a lot of my time. While getting drinks, I realized that my conversation with Mina was missing something. Was it because she wasn't Serena? When I got home that night, I spoke with Serena, and while up until now, I knew that the conversations we were having were all in my head, she started talking, and I knew that I didn’t imagine our conversations anymore. This was real. I was shocked and wanted to tell someone, but the only person I could think to tell was Serena. With this realization, I continued our conversation with excitement.

I didn't know how long we talked until Mina was beside me. I looked at her, wondering why she was there; she said she had been trying to get in touch with me for days and finally came over to check on me. I excitedly told her that Serena had begun to speak to me. Mina looked at me in confusion, and at that exact moment, Serena started asking if this was the friend that I had told her so much about. I replied yes, and Mina asked me what I was responding to. I was confused because didn't she hear Serena speak? When I asked Mina this, she looked a little scared. She said that no one had said anything. When Serena began speaking again, I told Mina to listen and hear what she had to say, but Mina only stared at me in confusion and fear. She again repeated that no one was talking. I knew that she was lying because, of course, Serena could speak. Mina had told me they were living things, so why wouldn't they be able to. I responded to Serena and then realized that I was so absorbed in my conversation with her that Mina had left. I didn't mind; this left me more time with Serena. I sat there talking with her, I sat there for a long time, and at one point, I realized that I couldn't move. But I didn't care; Serena couldn't move, so why should I. I was excited; I could sit here forever and talk with Serena. After a while, I could hear Mina's voice again, I had no idea how much time had passed, but her voice sounded far away. I ignored it and instead focused on Serena. She was the only thing that mattered. I had taken care of her, talked to her; who else was as important to me. I still couldn't move, so even though I could vaguely hear Mina telling me to get up, I didn't do anything, didn't she know? I couldn’t move because my roots had already started growing.