Letting the Cat Out of the Bag

I’ve always hated cats.

Okay okay, calm down. I think the fire bursting from your ears is going to give me smokers’ lungs. Let me rephrase, I hate Marigold’s cat.

I swear to God I’m not an evil person. I’m almost deathly allergic to all breeds of cats (stupid saliva pheromones) and more often than not their presence torments me. Being in a house with a single cat makes my eyes water, then my nose starts to run, and the coughing begins soon after. I can’t even think about touching one without breaking out in hives. Don’t get me wrong, cats are adorable and clever and loving. I’m not one of those people who hate all cats because of malicious stereotypes. I hate this cat. This cat is the epitome of all human evil. She’s mean, vengeful, and refuses to eat anything except fresh tuna casserole. Can cat’s even safely eat tuna casserole?! 

I’m sure that’s not all she eats, but she moans and groans in a high pitched meow if she doesn’t get the special treat of a delicious tuna casserole. My poor best friend is practically a slave to her own cat. I simply won’t stand for it. Besides, as selfish as it is, choking on my own mucus during game night at her house makes hanging out a lot less fun. 

Marigold’s cat, Sunshine, has won the hearts of every single one of our mutual friends. What’s funny is she absolutely despises every single one of them. Derek, my boyfriend, loves her. When he tries to pet her, she scratches at him. Staci, Marigold and I’s third wheel as far as best friends go, always tries to pet and spoil Sunshine and is met with hisses. To be truthful, Sunshine doesn't even like Marigold. That fluffy, ginger, demon spawn is anything but a ray of sunshine.

Sunshine was given to Marigold by our mutual friend Zaria who works at the local cat shelter. Sunshine was a mangy stray about to be put down when Zaria rescued her. If it weren’t for Marigold taking her in, Sunshine would be as good as dead. She doesn’t act in the slightest bit grateful, though. In fact, she’s a busybody who likes to shove her tail in kind people’s faces. 

I thought I would always hate Sunshine, and Sunshine would always hate me. That is, until the day my friend group’s game night got cut short by a need for a late night snack, and I was left alone to cat-sit. 

The evening had started like any other. Marigold welcomed me at her doorway as we exchanged hugs. I spotted Sunshine perched on the ottoman, and we exchanged glances of mutual hatred while I followed Marigold into the den. Staci showed up soon after bringing a huge stack of games. Derek and I exchanged a kiss when he walked in carrying an assortment of drinks. Marigold was all smiles, especially when Staci and Derek showed up. All seemed right in my little world. If only I knew how wrong everything truly was. 

We had been playing Monopoly for half an hour with a surprisingly low rate of homicide when Marigold left to grab an appetizer from the kitchen. She returned a few moments later, saying, “You guys, I am so, so sorry. I totally forgot to order the frozen pizza for tonight. It’s not a problem, I can run to the store really quick and grab it.”

Staci’s face fell, “That sucks. Okay, well if you’re going to go I’ll go with you. It’s getting really late, I don’t want you out in this part of town by yourself at night.” Staci stood up and started pulling on her jacket. 

“I’ll come too. Two girls can be even more of a target. I should tag along to make sure y’all are safe.” Derek got up and started walking towards Marigold’s place in the kitchen.

“Wait, if all three of you are going I’ll go too.” I protested at my being left behind.

Marigold sucked a puff of air through her teeth, making an ugly hissing sound. “Sorry, Darla, I really wish you could come, but someone has to stay and watch Sunshine. You know how anxious she gets when alone.” She shrugged with a sorry expression on her face.

That needy, dratted cat was ruining my night. I stood up, “Why should I be the one to stay with her?! I’m allergic, and she hates me.”

Marigold dramatically frowned, pouting her lip with somewhat mocking sympathy. Her sorry-not-sorry attitude radiated off of her. “I know. I’m sorry, but Derek needs to come since he’s the guy and Sunshine hates Staci way more than she hates you. We’ll be back soon, I promise. I love you, bye.” She waved her fingers at me as the three of them walked out the door, leaving me.

In defeat I dropped back down onto the ugly yellow couch. The audacity of my friends to abandon me like that, I was shocked. Honestly I probably should’ve anticipated it, but I was still in denial of the obvious at that point.

I decided it would be best if I walked around and actually tried to find Sunshine. Marigold’s house isn’t big, but she did turn the room meant to be an office into a library. I decided to start there.

The room was about the size of an average bedroom, but it seemed a lot smaller with how jam-packed with furniture it was. There were at least five genuine library-style shelves filled to the brim with books and various plants. A red cushioned sofa chair stood against the farthest wall to the left, completely covered in all kinds of junk. A wooden desk sat against the wall with a nice black office chair resting under it. The desk was beyond cluttered with pens, paper, notebooks, markers, tape, and other random objects. A nice Apple laptop was resting in the midst of the mess. All the walls of the room were an atrocious bright yellow, and the only light source was a brown-stained lamp with a single working light bulb. 

I decided to keep looking for Sunshine. I figured she would want to be somewhere up high, given her regular patterns. Sure enough she was curled up on one of the highest library shelves in between a succulent plant and decorative copies of classic tales. 

Since she was currently rather docile, I continued my search of the room. That’s when I noticed something odd on the red seat. A Blue Jays baseball hat sat idly on its arm. 

To anyone else this would seem unalarming, but I know Marigold better than anybody. She hates baseball. So do I and Staci. The only person in our friendground who doesn’t is Derek. He’s an adamant, passionate lover of the Blue Jays since he grew up in Toronto. 

Despite it being weird, I shrugged it off. Derek probably just left one of his hats over here one of our previous game nights and Marigold keeps forgetting to give it back. No big deal. 

I moved on and continued to wander around the room. I was admiring Marigold’s expensive carved mahogany bookshelves when I spotted a prancing Sunshine frolicking between the old books. 

That stupid cat, if she kept that up she was going to carelessly damage those expensive books. I shouted, “Hey you, you little menace! Get down from there!” 

Sunshine simply gave me a snide side-eye glance before using both front paws to knock a small copy of Anne of Green Gables off the mahogany shelf. 

“Damn you!” I scream while rushing to try to catch the novel. Unfortunately, I was mere seconds too late. The book fell right on Marigold’s laptop. To my surprise, the laptop had actually been slightly open, and the book had closed it. 

“That’s… odd.” I looked down at the book, the cover facing up, resting on the silver computer. Hearing a swishing noise to my left, I turned instantly to find Sunshine sitting on the dresser resting in front of the bulletin board.

With a glint of mischief in her eye, Sunshine used a swish of her fluffy orange tail to knock the italian postcard off of the pushpin. In its wake rested a bright pink sticky note with Marigold’s password in blood red ink. 

I looked over at Sunshine, then at the note, then at Sunshine, then at the note. I shouldn’t, I can’t, I won’t. That’s a horrible invasion of privacy. Still, my friends abandoning me, the uncanny baseball hat, and the computer being left open, it was all so abnormal. I stared at Sunshine sitting gracefully next to the note she just revealed. She shoved one of her paws towards me, as if to say, Go for it.

That was enough to push me over the edge. With no more hesitation, I sat down on the cushioned black office chair and quickly opened the laptop, Anne of Green Gables falling onto the floor. I put in the password, and in an instant, I was in.

I didn’t even have to look around. It was all right there, in front of my face. They must have been texting right before I got to the house, because the chats were still open and very recent.

I found hundreds of texts between Marigold and Derek. Hours long conversations, phone calls, pictures, and videos. Some I even had to look away from. In the span of five minutes, I scrolled through enough to realize Marigold and Derek have been secretly getting together behind my back for months now. 

What. The. Hell. 

What the hell?! Derek’s my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for two years. He met my mom for crying out loud. We’d seen each other almost everyday, he had gotten me a promise ring for Christmas. How could he do this to me? How could he rip out my heart and shatter it like this?! What was going through his mind to do something like this? To leave me, to betray me for Marigold. Marigold, that absolute bitch. She’s not innocent in this either. She was supposed to be my best friend. We’ve been friends since high school. How could she do this to me?! 

I was in complete shock. The room started spinning as I fell to the floor. My two best friend’s, my boyfriend, the people I loved most, all betrayed me. And they did it together, always leaving me out, finding enjoyment in my pain. Looking around at Marigold’s disgusting yellow room, I thought I was going to be sick. 

This had been going on for almost a year without my knowledge. How could I have been so clueless? How long would they have gone on without telling me? I knew but one thing. If it weren’t for Sunshine’s help, I may never have found out about their rotten relationship. 

I looked up at that fluffy, clever little cat as the room slowed to a stop. At that moment I wished I could’ve pet Sunshine. She was my savior in this. I managed to stand and look her in the eye. While pondering what I could do for her instead, a brilliant idea popped into my mind followed by a striking realization. Firstly, I would certainly reward Sunshine for this act of kindness. As for my epiphany, I realized being a mature adult and leaving Marigold’s house peacefully would be in my best interests. Staci, Derek, and Marigold could do whatever they pleased when they returned to an empty house, but I did hope my disappearance and the open computer would trigger some feeling of remorse in them. Rather than start a fight I blocked them both and vowed to never see them again. I’m better off without them, after all. Lying cheaters are not worthy of my time. I couldn’t return to reward Sunshine in person, unfortunately. Instead I did the next best thing:

I left a tray of freshly baked tuna casserole on Marigold’s front porch steps.

I can only hope that when Marigold opened her door to find it she disregarded just how suspicious its appearance was and decided to give in to her genius cat’s pitiful pleas for it anyway.