Paranoia or Fear – what’s worse?

‘What was that?’ she said to herself.

Her breathing was getting quicker and the loud noise was reverberating in her head. She tried to breathe quietly but couldn’t. ‘Should I get up and go and look or just stay here? If I just lie still, I’m a sitting duck, or maybe a lying duck but I don’t want to go downstairs. What should I do?’ Vera felt like crying but knew that wouldn’t help.

Vera lay in her bed for a couple of seconds more, just listening. She must have been straining her neck because her throat was hurting so she relaxed momentarily. The noise happened again, a banging sound, and she once again lifted her head off the pillow - she then tried to get off the bed without sitting up but instead of smoothly slipping off it, her feet got tangled in the sheet and she fell off with a loud thud. She sat on the floor, trying not to move a muscle, expecting to hear someone running up the stairs to her, but she heard nothing.

She stood up and opened her door as quietly as possible, but because the house was so old, was not quietly at all. Every thing squeaked. She was dreading walking down the stairs – not even someone hard of hearing could miss the creaking and groaning.

Vera waited, hand on the door handle, ears pricked and watched. She could only see the landing but at least there was no one on it.

“Alright, I have to make a move now. Or maybe I should try and get out of the window?” she softly said to herself. Then she thought of how high up it was and how scared of heights SHE was and decided this was a better option.

Her feet moved onto the top step. She knew there were fifteen of them because she counted them every time she ran up to her room. She could stretch out and make two at a time – once she tried to step out three stairs but slipped and gave herself a carpet burn on her shin.

Onto the second step she trod, creak, creak went the old wood under the carpet. She stood and concentrated but could hear nothing. It seemed like forever that she waited. It was going to take a special effort for her to go down any more stairs.

All Vera could think of was the two girls who had been murdered in the area over the past six months. The murder where the boyfriend was found guilty shouldn’t have worried her, because he was now locked up safely behind bars, but the other murder was still unsolved. That worried her.

Her mother had never liked the idea of her living alone, but Vera loved it. Coming from a household of six kids, it was like heaven!!

This was the first time since moving in, almost a year ago that she had actually felt frightened about anything. Once or twice, she had even accidently left the key in the lock, only to find it still sticking out when she got home from work, and the place as she had left it eight hours earlier. She didn’t tell her mum about it. Her mother worried about everything and the fact that Vera left an invitation for a thief to get into her place, would have given her palpitations.

Vera’s legs felt like heavy lumps as she continued to walk down the stairs, very slowly one at a time. Her heart was beating rapidly and she wondered if it did any damage to it when beating this fast.

The noise seemed to have stopped and she had three stairs left to get down. She always jumped the last three in one go when she was came down normally, but now, trying to creep down, she couldn’t do that!

Her feet felt rooted to the third last stair as if nailed on. She knew it was her mind not letting her move, and her breath was quick and heavy. ‘Move’ she thought and lifted her left leg up, placing it down on the second last step ‘and you too’ she looked at her right leg and then did the same.

Perspirations was running from her brow and down the side of her face, so with her free left hand she slowly wiped it away, but some of it had dripped into her eye and they started stinging. Blinking furiously, she tried to take the sting away but couldn’t and it was making everything around her a bit blurry.

Finally on the last step Vera was able to look around the corner into the kitchen. She couldn’t see anyone or notice anything different so straightened her head - but that didn’t calm her breathing down and she felt a little sick in her tummy.

“Last step” she whispered to herself and stood on the vinyl floor at the end of the staircase, both hands by her side.

Something caught her eye and she swivelled her head towards the kitchen. The sheer lace curtain was wafting in the breeze coming through the window. Fear ran through her as she realised the window she always shut before going to bed at night was now open.

She knew that it had to be done – she couldn’t stand here forever just waiting to see what would happen. Taking a deep breath Vera left the security of the stairs and walked into the kitchen.

She didn’t know what she expected to greet her, either with a weapon or a person by themselves but there was no one in the room. Standing quite still she looked around. Nothing had changed since last night, all except the open window.

She gingerly stepped out of the kitchen and into the lounge, and it was the same, no one there and nothing any different. No noises, no danger.

She went to the front door and it was still locked and no other windows were open as far as she could see. Vera still felt nervous and tentatively looked into the laundry, the linen cupboard and the toilet, but nothing.

“How strange” she said aloud “I suppose I shall have to go outside and have a look but not before a cup of tea. Putting the kettle on, she was justifying the open kitchen window in her mind. ’It doesn’t catch sometimes’ she thought ‘and I do recall once when I came home it was open and I thought I had shut it before I left home. Maybe that’s what the banging was?’.

Sipping the hot tea, her heart had calmed down to a normal pace and after wiping the perspiration from her face, it was still dry.

‘Time to go outside and look around’ Vera thought as she unlocked the back door and walked out into the fresh air and back garden. She hadn’t realised just how windy it was and that re-enforced the idea that the window hadn’t been shut properly before going to bed.

Feeling like a detective and not actually knowing what she was looking for, she wandered on the grass head bend, and eyes glued! ‘Well I wouldn’t know about footprints on the lawn, so there’s not much else I can do out here’ she thought. And seeing that the side gate was locked she went inside to get ready for work.

If she has only looked to her right on going back inside, she would have seen the fresh cigarette butt and skinny piece of wire that had been tossed away, but she didn’t.

At work Vera told her best friend about the ridiculous scare she had given herself that morning before work. “I should have known that the window doesn’t always catch because I’ve done it before – I scared myself half to death and I’m sure it isn’t good for your heart when it’s beating furiously for that length of time” she discussed in the ‘ladies room’.

Back in the office Vera continued the discussion, the event obviously still in the front of her mind. “I think I was so on edge because they haven’t caught the fellow who murdered that young girl a few months ago. Wasn’t she just asleep in her bed and he came in through the back door?”

“Yes, but who leaves their back door open when they go to bed?” Jen commented.

“Yeah, I know but she probably just forgot to lock it. Who knows? Anyway I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I was lying in bed listening to all the noise downstairs”.

“What was the noise?” asked Jen

“The window I think” replied Vera, thinking about it “It had to be the window”.

“Well why don’t I get Jason to come around after work one day this week and put a new latch on it or whatever is needed to fix it. It will give you peace of mind at least if you know the window shuts tightly”.

“That would be so good Jen, just let me know when he wants to come and I’ll make sure I’m home” she told her friend.

Vera thought she had got past the incident of the previous week but after Jason came around one Thursday evening after work and fixed the window latch, it was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. ‘Oh, thanks Jason” she told her friend’s brother as he was leaving “Now I feel really safe”.

She had a shower and got into bed with her book, and by midnight she had fallen asleep, the book resting on her face and the bedroom light still on.

She woke up suddenly, the light was bright and the book was heavy. So climbing out of bed she put the book on her bedside table and went to switch off the light.

Then she heard it….a noise downstairs. She knew it couldn’t be the window =m that was tightly shut and she had done the rounds of windows and doors before coming upstairs.

Her heart started pounding and she stood rooted to the spot as she listened to footsteps climbing up the fifteen stairs.

Her fight mode came to life and she bolted for the wardrobe, but it was too late. A big rough pair of hands grabbed her from behind and spun her around.

She tried to scream but he clamped her mouth with his hand and the other hand held on to her shoulder tightly and partly around her neck.

Then he spoke, a deep voice “You thought that by fixing your window you would be safe? I was here the other morning, when you went out the back I was watching you from the shed. You looked lovely”.

She tried desperately to bite his hand but was having trouble even breathing with the tightness of his grasp

. She knew he was too strong for her and that what she was feeling was just pure fear, her legs felt weak and her head was pulsing. All she could do was look at his evil face, not knowing what he was going to do to her.

“You should never leave your keys in the door my lovely. It was so easy to get one cut – and then just bide my time, which is what I’ve done. You young girls will never learn will you”.

Vera shut her eyes and could feel herself floating away in the dark night into nothingness.