It's The Thought That Counts by Elouise D. Woodard

Today wasn’t a special day, it was just another day in the life of a housewife. It wasn’t my birthday, holiday, or anniversary. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, it was just one of those lazy days. I was sitting in my favorite chair by the front window in our living room reading one of my favorite books. As I looked up to stretch, I observed my husband walking through the front door. I identified a small colorful box in his right hand. As he commenced walking closer towards my direction with the biggest smile on his face he said softly, “honey, this is for you”. I was shocked, excited, and anxious. This gift came out of nowhere, for no apparent reason. I absolutely wanted to feel like the luckiest woman in the world, but it was something about the gift. The wrapping was gorgeous, so I knew he had taken his time to purchase something so beautifully wrapped. I was eager to open it, he knew how much I loved his gifts because of the love we share. As I proceeded to open it, I noticed it was something he would have never given me, in fact, it almost seemed like an afterthought. My husband knows me better than I know myself so why he would give me something he knew would heighten my eyebrow. I asked, were you in a hurry upon your purchased or was it a “I’m sorry I said that” gift because we had an argument the night before which I thought was settled before retiring for the night. He stood there with a stare that quite honestly scared me a bit. I don’t understand the reasoning behind this gift, but I graciously received it. It most certainly looks like something you were forced to do. This gift is not something you would have purchased on your own, the mere fact that it was given to me on purpose gave me pause. It almost feels like this gift was mistakenly given to me and was meant for someone one else. I was holding the gift in my hands with an expression of concern. I couldn’t control it; I felt a sensation in my gut that something was not quite right.  

I looked at him to see the expression on his face, he looked back at me with a long stare and turned around and walked away. This was something eccentric happening here, he would never have done that, not during any of our arguments. He would talk it out, minimize the level of the conversation, come to a mutual understanding but never walk away. This is not something he would do, in fact, his entire demeanor changed at an instant. I was vocal in how I related to him, I’ve noticed how distant you’ve become; communication has been limited to non-existent. You don’t look at me the same anymore, we hardly ever go out to eat or date each other any longer. The romance has dwindled down to the bare minimum. We have become more like roommates than a married couple. Did I do something to make you feel this way? If so, what can I do to bring us back to where we were blissful. We use to laugh at silly things, hug each other for no reason, joke with one another and hold hands like teenagers. You would surprise me with flowers and candy unexpectedly. We use to date each other once a week, we were inseparable, you are my best friend, what happened to us? I miss the old you, this new you is cold, mean, unhappy and miserable. What changed, how did we get here? I will do anything to get us back to where we couldn’t wait to see one another after work. We use to look forward to seeing each other in our happy place. I would welcome any gifts you gave me because it was always the thought that counts, not the gift itself. Again, the stare followed by silence. Unbelievable I said, why won’t you talk to me? How can I fix this if you don’t tell me what’s wrong? He turned and walked up the stairway to the back bedroom. I just stood there, perplexed as to this nightmare. I guess the conversation was over because I found myself talking to myself once again. I continued looking at this gift, the thought behind the gift that you thought counted was a misconception on your part. It’s not that I’m not grateful, I’m grateful for the gift, it’s what it represents. To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t match my personality, it’s a practical gift, it’s not something I would interpret as a gift, it’s more or less a “I like you very much trinket”, it just didn’t quite fit the puzzle in our lives.

         It stood out like a pink elephant in the corner of the room that has never been touched! It doesn’t match the furniture, it just sits there loud but quiet, stiff but demanding and hidden but bold. I’m analyzing, studying, and questioning this gift purpose in our lives. I wish I could explain why I have it, but I can’t. I’ve contemplated in my mind what to do with this gift. I have no other choice but to consult with my husband to ask what made you purchase this particular gift oppose to the other beautiful gifts you’ve given me in the past. The thought of me asking this question was a scary thought because he wasn’t the same person, I knew all those years back. He’s become more and more distant; he looks at me with such discuss, I see it in his eyes every time I kiss him. I continue to hold my marriage together as I see the thread coming apart at the seam. This is the man I chose to love, honor, protect until death do us part. I can’t image my life without him and so I stay and fight for what God has given me. My routine is something that has kept my marriage together, in fact, it has become quite normal in our relationship. This is the frightening part of the relationship that I refuse to talk about. The decision to bring forth the uncomfortable conversation. It was very difficult to hear the awful truths about his hidden secrets, but I managed to understand why the gift was so important. This was the last gift I was to receive from him because he decided to leave me after twenty-five years of marriage. The thought behind this gift was to soften the blow of finally realizing he was happier with another man.