among friends.

Steph wrapped her coat tighter around her and pulled her tuke down snuggly over her ears. Snow was beginning to fall but she wasn’t ready to go home even though she really hadn’t dressed for the weather. The park was crowded with people. Families mostly. Which was perfect because she couldn’t bear being alone tonight as the deep darkness descended. Not after what had happened.

The little people were covered from head to toe in winter gear and pointing their mitten-covered fingers at the colored lights wrapped snuggly around every tree as they gasped with delight at the blinking lights. The tiny structures built to look like little homes were scattered along the pathways of the park and filled with little scenes of winter and the coming holiday.

Steph was not looking at the lights but imagining what the coming days and weeks held for her. How could she survive a holiday in three days that would celebrate the birth of a baby.

Rayley stood at the edge of the park wondering if she could go in. It is a tradition. She had to keep the tradition for them. They always came here to see the lights before Christmas together. Could she do it on her own? She was an adult for heaven’s sake. She had her head down and her eyes on the sidewalk in front of her. The crowds of people were dividing around her and passing on either side.  Some came so close to her that she could feel them brush past her coat sleeves. It felt like her life. She was standing still and life was going on all about her.

She was pleased that snow was falling. It never felt like Christmas without snow on the ground.

Rayley took a few steps forward as if she had been pushed from behind. They would want this for her. She steeled her resolve. She took out her phone determined to take a few pictures of her first year on her own.

Steph slowed as she neared the cart on wheels. She could smell the chocolate and the thought of wrapping her hands around a scalding hot cocoa was enough to prompt her to join the growing queue. Apparently, twenty or so other people had the same thought and cold children.

Steph would normally pull the phone from her pocket and flip through her Insta but she left it in her pocket and began watching the passing sea of individuals. A young couple was snuggled into one another and clearly not feeling the dropping temperature. Behind the lovebirds, was a young Mom pushing a double stroller with her left hand and holding on to a toddler with her right. The two children in the stroller were crying and the toddler was dragging her tiny feet and other families were passing them. Behind the beleaguered mother, Steph thought she recognized someone.

She reached her hand out without touching her. “Rayley? Is that you?”

Rayley wasn’t used to hearing her name in a crowd. Her head snapped up to see who had said it. It took her a couple of beats to focus on the face in front of her. “Steph? Steph Williamson?”

“Yes. Yes, it’s me! And it’s Sawyer now.”

“Congratulations! That’s fantastic!” She reached out to give her a hug. “What brings you back to Huntsville?”

“Do you have a minute? Can I buy you a hot chocolate? I’m absolutely freezing! And I’d love to have someone to talk to in this eternal line.”

Rayley leaned closer to the person behind Steph in line, “Do you mind if I jump in here with my friend?”

The man behind Steph nodded with a small smile and took a step backward to give Rayley room. She smiled at the man. “Thank you very much.” And stepped into line with her old friend Steph. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“It has been at least ten years, right?” Steph agreed.  

“Yeah. That sounds right. So, tell me everything. Where did you go after the illustrious Thomas Jefferson high school?” The last time Rayley could remember seeing Steph was at her after-school job at All Season’s Sports. Steph had a scholarship to Smith and she stopped in to tell her that she was on her way. They wrote a few letters, but life became crazy for both of them, and they eventually lost track of each other.

“Well, I went to Smith for two semesters, but it wasn't for me. After my Mom’s head exploded because I was leaving her dream college, I went to an art college because painting was something I always wanted to do. I met Brian Sawyer just before graduation. We got married eighteen months later.  We moved back a year ago to help my mom when she got her cancer diagnosis. Then the market crashed and no one was paying independent art consultants. So, he took a job at my Dad’s real estate company to get us through. We’ve been here ever since.” Steph finished the quick narrative quietly. She tried to brighten her voice, “what about you? What brings you back to Huntsville?”

Rayley looked down. “I never left.”

“There’s nothing wrong with staying close to home, friends and family.” Steph encouraged. She knew Rayley. Rayley was the youngest of seven and her parents had started their family late. Some of the other kids thought that Rayley’s parents were her grandparents because they were so much older than everyone else’s parents in the graduating class. Steph wondered if she had stayed to care for them because that was exactly who Rayley was.

“Yeah.” Rayley agreed. “I met someone. A hiker who had come into the store for equipment. His name was Paul.”

“And was it love at first sight?”

Rayley laughed. “Something like that.”

“So, what happened to Paul? Did he sweep you off your feet and take you all around the world?” Steph asked. Hoping the story had a happy ending.

“He did ask me to marry him, and he wanted to travel. But I was the youngest.” Rayley’s voice quieted. “Everyone else had moved away and started their families. There wasn’t anyone to take care of my folks. We tried to work out the long-distance thing but, in the end, we called off the engagement so Paul could move on. He had dreams. He is a really good climber. He couldn’t wait for me. He was successful and I was in the way.”

“I’m so sorry, Rayley. That must have been really difficult. I’m sure your parents are very grateful that you sacrificed for them.” Steph ordered them each a hot chocolate. They both eagerly held the disposable cups in their hands as they found an empty bench to sit down and waited for it to cool.

The snow was beginning to stick to all the surfaces around them. The darkness was deepening the cold. The families were starting to leave the park by the van full.

“Where is Mr. Sawyer tonight? Home with all your kidlets?” Rayley asked.

Steph looked down at her steaming cup. She was waiting for the temperature to come down before she took a sip. “Actually….we were expecting. I lost the baby two months ago. There were complications. Brian has been really great about it. He is worried about me. But he wanted kids. I think maybe more than I wanted them. I don’t really know if he can stay with someone who can’t have them.”

Rayley leaned over and put her hand around Steph’s shoulders. “I’m sure he loves you. You will find a way to work through this. Maybe adopt?”

“We’ve talked a little bit about that. Or maybe a surrogate if we can borrow some money from my folks.”

“Yeah! Then it would still look just like you both.” Rayley encouraged. Steph began to sip her hot chocolate. She may have waited too long. It wasn’t very hot anymore. It had cooled in the dropping temperature.

“I shouldn’t keep you. I bet your folks are waiting for you.”

Rayley’s eyes filled with tears. She was struggling to hold them back. “There was an accident. They were broadsided by a truck.” She took a long breath. “They didn’t make it.”

“Oh. Oh no.” Steph whispered. Her eyes filled with tears too.

Rayley lifted one side of her mouth. “I’m glad that got to go together. That they have each other. My mom always wanted it to be that way. Maybe not so soon but she didn’t want to be without him and she didn’t know how he would go it alone.”

Steph gave a forced little laugh. “Aren’t we a picture of Christmas joy?”

Rayley chuckled too. “For sure. We are like a Hallmark movie gone wrong. “

“But at least we found each other again. That’s a bright spot.” Steph said honestly. “Can we get together and talk again?”

“I think we have to. Don’t we?”

“Sounds perfect. Will you promise me you’ll do one thing before I see you again?”

“What?” Rayley said cautiously.

“Promise you will reach out to Paul and see if he’s still single somewhere pinning for you? If you are ready, I think there is a lot of world he could show you.”

“I can’t imagine he is still single after all these years, but I promise I will try. Will you promise me one thing?”

“Sure. What it is?” She said with hesitation in her voice.

“Promise me that you won’t give up on Brian. I think he loves you and you will find a way to work this out.”

“Okay. I promise to try. I hope that he’ll stay with me.”

“He’d be a fool not to.”

They exchanged numbers. Promised to keep in better touch this time. And chinked their paper cups together before heading to their cars to get out of the falling snow.