You Don't Care Do You

Betty shouldn’t be feeling like the third wheel between her best friend and boyfriend. It was supposed to be Vera who felt left out, it should be Vera who was on the brink of tears. She was supposed to feel safe with them but they were so blind to how they hurt her.

“Funny how Betty is the one who wanted to play Monopoly yet she’s the one who is nearly broke.” Jake sniggered, and Vera her friend who was supposed to be her fall back, her protector just laughed along with him. She knew to them it was just a simple joke, one in good fun that meant nothing to them, and it should mean nothing to her. That was the problem though, little things like this were slowly piling up filling her body up until it felt as if she would burst. It wasn’t just them either, her parents contributed to the little things, theirs more frequent and bigger.

Betty wasn’t blind, she knew something was happening, whether Jake and Vera were aware or not. They were falling, slowly.

She wanted to stand up and scream, scream at the two of them until her lungs shattered. Tell them how much they had hurt her in every way. Yell at them about how she knew, she knew Jake was falling for the raven-haired girl, how she knew he was falling farther and farther away from her.

“B. B!” She was thinking too much.” It’s your turn.” she nodded at Vera coming back to reality. “You ok?”

Betty put on her best smile. “Yeah of course.” She took her turn, more focused on keeping the tears that threatened to escape locked up. Nobody seemed to care anymore, if she died she doubted they would even blink. 

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“Mom I’m home!” Betty yelled, taking off her shoes and beginning to walk up the stairs hoping her mom wouldn’t walk to greet her. 

“Jesus child you’re going to wake up your father, you know how hard he works. Such disrespect.” Her mother scolded walking into the room with the scent of freshly baked cookies following her. “I need you to clean the kitchen, you know how I hate making dinner in a messy kitchen.”

“Yeah of course mom, sorry about the noise.”

“Thank you, Elizabeth.”

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She stepped into the shower washing her hair as she listened to the water rain down on the white surface beneath her. Then the tears came, salty water dripping from her eyes only masked by the shower water that came from above.

“I’m fine,” she whispered attempting a smile. “I’m fine, I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine.” The mantra turned into sobs as she slid to the ground leaning against the wall of the shower so the rain-like water poured down onto her face.

She wondered if it would help to call one of those teen hotlines, maybe talking to someone would help. She had a book with a few at the end, she wouldn’t dare put that in her search history for her parents to find. They would just say she was vying for attention, that she was being manipulative, playing a game. They never believed her.

She stepped out determined to do something about how she was feeling. She couldn’t keep falling down this hole of despair she would hit the ground eventually, she needed to learn how to fly.

So Betty made a plan, she made a plan to put her life back together. She wanted to be able to live in this world without feeling like it was ending. 

First thing first she needed to talk to her best friend about her insecurities. Betty didn’t think she could keep living with the thought of what was happening with her best friend and boyfriend. So she texted the raven-haired girl to meet at pops.

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“Hey, Betty what’s up? You said you wanted to talk right?” Betty heard as the girl sat across from her on the secluded picnic bench in the back of the small park.

“Yeah, V I do.” C’mon Betty suck it up and tell her, she is your best friend she will be nothing but caring and understanding. “I want you to answer this truthfully, I promise I won’t be hurt no matter what you say.” You got this. “ Do you like Jake? Like in a romantic way.”

Confusion spread over her best friend’s olive skin, her brow furrowed. “No B, why would you think that?”

“Well, I just-”

“This actually really hurts, Betty he is your boyfriend I would never do that to you. Is that really the type of person you take me as?!? You know more than anyone how hard I fought for people to stop thinking of me like that.” She could see the anger in Vera as the girl pushed herself up from the table and stormed from the bench making her way to the parking lot

“V!” but she was out of earshot, not that she would have responded anyway. She was on her phone probably calling her mom to come and get her. 

Betty could feel hot tears streaming down her cheeks, she had tried, tried to fix things. Her life really was in shreds she thought to her self putting her head on the hard table and watching the cars pull in and out of the parking lot. Suddenly she saw an all too familiar motorcycle drive up, She watched in confusion as it stopped in front of Vea. Betty was enraged, Vera hadn’t seriously called her boyfriend to pick the girl up after the conversation that they literally just had. It was hard for the blond to believe that that wasn’t entirely on purpose.

With anger filling her bloodstream Betty got up and began walking to her two friends, storming outside ready to interrupt the heartfelt hug that was shared between the accused lovers.

“WHAT THE FUCK VERA, YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW.” Betty practically screamed at her, tears still pouring down her cheeks. “After the conversation we literally just had, you turn around and do this?”

“B I-”

“I don’t need your shit.” She looked at Jake who looked confused as he let her best friend go.

“Betty, why are you freaking out?” He asked concern washing over his face. He took a step towards her, reaching out an arm, she moved out of the way.

“Don’t, I know what kind of tryst you two are getting into here, I’m not blind”

“God this again,” Vera rolled her eyes, stepping forward to Betty, “For the last time B, there is nothing here.” She moved her hand between her and Jake.

“You thought I was cheating on you?” Jake cut in, realizing what Betty was saying, “Really? Do you think I would pull that on you? After everything we’ve been through?” He was yelling now.

“Jake stop.” She wiped her eyes, backing away. “I’m sorry, I- I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Vera spat. Betty nodded walking away to sit behind the small building that held the two bathrooms in the park. She sat on the ground next to a trash bin, curling her knees into her chest and resting her head on them. Her acid-washed jeans felt ruff against her chin. She tightened her ponytail taking deep breaths trying to erase the red from her face. 

She grabbed the sleeves of her dark blue sweater pulling them over her hands, wanting something to hold onto. She felt lost. Was she just imagining the lingering touches and clandestine looks? Was she imagining all the times when they would look at each other after she said something and laugh? Was she going crazy? Betty began crying again, she pulled the hair tie out of her hair, using the blond waves to cover her tear-stricken face. Unable to stop crying she dug the heels of her hands into her eyes pushing the tears back in. Or at the very least keeping them from coming out.

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Betty walked home not wanting to explain to her mom why she looked so unkept. She contemplated whether she should go home at all, maybe running away would solve all of her problems, or dying. Wondering how people would react to that she didn’t see the broad-shouldered boy jogging up to her. 

“Betts hey what’s up?” She froze, if Andrew saw she was crying he would ask why. “I see you don’t have your ponytail in today.” he put a hand on her shoulder turning her around, she looked at the ground, her face covered by her hair.

“Hey, Andy.” Andrew had been hanging out with them less and less after he and Vera had broken up, she missed him. They had been best friends as kids, living right next to each other

He gave her a look of concern, pushing her hair out of her face. “Betty what happened.” She sobbed, he took her into his arms giving her a comforting hug. “You don’t have to tell me, but I just want to make sure no one hurt you.” 

She shook her head, “N-no not purposefully.”

He pulled away looking at her, “You wanna talk to me.”

She contemplated it, should she? Betty hadn’t told anyone keeping locked inside, no one had the key but her. Maybe it would help? “O-ok Just not here.” She took his hand leading him to a spot between their houses, to a small shed they used to play in as kids.

They walked inside sitting next to each other on the floor against the wall.

Betty breathed trying to say everything that was in her head. “I think my boyfriend is falling for my best friend, and he’s mad at me. My parents are worse than ever, they don’t hurt me but it wouldn’t shock me if my father did. I feel horrible for saying that cause sometimes he is great. Hot and cold so confusing. I might be suicidal too? I don’t like saying that either, I have been called manipulative for my entire life, and damn it sucks to second guess everything you say. I can’t talk to a therapist I just smile and make small talk. I feel so alone Andy, I don’t know what to do. I attempted to talk to Vera about her and but she just got mad and offended. There is no way I can talk to my parents either, they would just yell at me or tell me I’m being manipulative.” He just looked at her, did she do something wrong? Were her problems as petty as she thought? She began crying again, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Andrew put a hand on her shoulder, looking her in the eyes. “Your problems are completely valid. I wish I could do more to help but there isn’t much.”

“Yeah, that’s ok, thanks for listening.”

“Of course, can I try to give you some advice though? It might not be the best but I would love to at least try.” She nodded. “ Maybe you need to take some time away from Vera and Jake, it might help a bit. About your parents, There isn’t much, but you 17 in a year you won’t have to live with them anymore.”

“Yeah your right, on both fronts. I mean it’s not like I don’t have other friends, taking a break from being around them might be really helpful.”

He smiled at her, “I’m glad I could help, I’m always here for you” Looking at him with his bright red hair, and his faint array of freckles peppered on his nose and cheeks she smiled back. For the first time in months, she produced a genuine smile, a smile of acceptance. A smile that showed even tho she knew everything would never be perfect, it would be ok. With a little help from Andrew, and effort from her she would make it through the next few months, Betty knew it.