Growing Up

“Well, that’s the last of it.” My mom said. We had finished cleaning out my closet and packing up my clothes for college. “Oh-wait a minute...you’ve got a pair of shoes left.” My mom reached into the back corner of my closet. I peered over her shoulder. It was my old chucks, caked in mud and dirt. “Oh man, those are from like a million years ago!” I said.

“Aren’t these the shoes you were supposed to get rid of?” my mom said accusingly. I thought back to when I got the mud all over them. It was the end of summer before 8th grade. My friends and I had gone hiking through the woods behind my house one last time, but it had rained a few days before so the forest was wet and muddy, and my shoes got ruined.

“Yeah! I took them through the woods and you were so mad. Wow...that feels like ages ago.” I felt nostalgia bubbling up inside me. That day in the woods was the last day my friends and I had all been together. “Anyway...I’ll take care of these. Will you bring this box down for me?” I asked. My mom sighed then smiled. “Fine, but the rest you’re taking yourself.” She gestured to the two other boxes. “Alright, deal.” She picked up the box closest to the door and headed downstairs, closing the door behind her. 

I looked down at the shoes in my lap, and thought about that summer. There were 5 of us. Meghan, Sam, Eli, Louis and me. At the end of 7th grade, Meghan was told she would be moving away to Colorado that upcoming August, and in late July, Sam was given the same news, that he would be moving to Pennsylvania. We had all met in 2nd grade, and had grown so much closer over the years since, so this was horrible news for us all. 

We all would play and hike and just talk in the woods behind my house for as long as I could remember. We all knew every inch of that forest by heart and could find our way out in the pitch black, so naturally that’s where we decided to spend our last day together. I remember them all laughing at me when I slipped and fell into that huge mud puddle, hence the ruined shoes. 

We walked to our favorite spot, a flat area with very few trees.  There was a small hill, with two huge rocks making a V shape at the base of the hill. It was the perfect spot to sit and socialize, and every time we went we somehow always found our way there and ended up talking for hours. I think it was Louis who originally found it. 

That day, Eli had brought his pocket knife. When we got to our spot, he walked away from the group to a nearby tree. We had trailed behind him, curious as to what he was doing. He pulled out his knife and began to carve his initials into the tree. When he was done, he turned around and silently passed the knife to Sam, who did the same. That was the first and only time I had ever seen Eli cry. After Sam was done, we all followed suit, carving our initials into the tree. 

None of us spoke at first. We all just stood together and looked at the tree for a few moments. After a while, we headed back to the rocks and just talked. We laughed and reminisced and pretended like nothing was wrong just for a little while. When it was time for everyone to go home, we all just sat there, not really knowing how to end things. I mean, how do you say goodbye to 4 years of friendships in just a few moments? 

Eventually, Meghan pulled us all into a hug. We stood there embracing each other for way too long, until I heard my mom shouting from our backyard that it really was getting too late and it was time for dinner and that people’s parents were here. We walked back together, and then it was over.  Even though my mom had told me to throw out the shoes and had yelled at me for ruining them, I tossed them in the back of my closet. I think part of me just didn’t want to let go of that day yet.

Once 8th grade started, Meghan and Sam kept in touch with us, but the calls got less frequent and the texts got shorter.  Eli, Louis and I still hung out occasionally, but things just weren’t the same without Sam and Meghan. We met up only once to try to go to the woods, but we ended up just getting something to eat instead. None of us wanted to go back there without them. 

At the start of 9th grade, Eli and Louis got in a huge fight. I don’t even remember what it was about now. They didn’t really talk after that, and my contact with the two of them slowly faded as we all were put in different classes and made new friends and well, grew up. Of course I missed everyone terribly, but as the years went by, the memories became less clear, and I moved on and made a new group of friends, and I stopped going to the woods. 

After a few minutes, I picked up the shoes and slowly put them on. They still fit, though they were stiff with age.  I laced them up, ignoring the flakes of mud still caked on the laces. I took a deep breath as I remembered the past. I picked up the remaining boxes and headed downstairs. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, reading. She looked up from her book. I called to her as I headed for the door. I set the boxes down then turned back to her for a moment. “Hey mom, I’ll be back in a little bit. I’m going on a walk through the woods.”