My Dearest Evelyn

The sound of cannons roar through the night, and smoke fills up the sky, yet the blanket of stars still makes their debut from behind the haze. I look up at the little specks of light trying to distract myself from the pain. The bodies of men, my fellow brothers, lay upon the field that has conquered us. Some barely surviving, and others already taking their last breath. My mind races, not knowing if death will be knocking at my door, or if I will be saved so that I can gaze upon your beautiful face again. The pain worsens by the second. I bite my lip refusing to make known my agony or else the enemies will find me. I am strong and I will survive, I think to myself, but deep down I know that nature will soon take its course. But death will not stop my wandering mind from contemplating my last words to you, my dearest Evelyn.

If I was with you right now, at this very moment, I will tell you the story of how I met your mother. I regret not telling it to you before, but I assumed that a love story would just go over a three-year-old's head. Eventually, your mother will tell you our story, but I would like the chance to tell you my side of it…

____________

I met your mother in the year 1938. At the time I was a sophomore at the University of Idaho, and I was living with my Great-aunt Martha. You see, my father died in World War I, and although he did not leave me with many memories of him, he made up for it with the lump sum he left my mother, your grandmother. We had a decent living off it for a while until the Depression hit, forcing your grandmother and me to leave Ohio and move in with Aunt Martha in Moscow, Idaho. I would be lying to you if I told you that I enjoyed living with your aunt; she was awful both inside and out. She had bushy gray eyebrows that nearly connected, and her eyes were a piercing silver color. And if not all, the majority of her teeth were missing. Her bitterness and rudeness made these unattractive qualities of hers stand out even more. It was quite obvious that Aunt Martha did not want your grandmother and I to stay with her, and she made it known at every opportune time. I did everything I could to stay away from that monster. So when I was given a chance to play baseball, I jumped on it right away.  

Ever since I was a child I knew that I was destined to be a baseball player. I would practice my swing with my imaginary bat every second of the day. I even went as far as getting your grandmother to throw the imaginary ball to me, and I would crack it farther than Babe Ruth, well at least in my five-year-old brain I did. I remember begging my mother to take me to a game. How I longed to hear the sound of the bat making contact with the ball and to see the dust filling up the air as the players dashed from base to base. However, since the money my father had left us started running low, leisure activities were not in the budget. So, I was left with just the radio and my imagination to keep me satisfied for many years, until one particular afternoon. It was a Sunday, and after a long day with Aunt Martha, I asked my mother if I could go for a walk. On the way back home, I heard one of the greatest sounds I had ever heard, and with it came to a ball landing a few feet ahead of me. I grabbed the white ball and returned it to its owners who were playing streetball; that is when I met David Tillman, my best friend. He got me into playing baseball for the community with him, and we stayed teammates all the way to college for the Idaho Vandals, thanks to Aunt Martha. She claimed that she wanted me to get higher education so that I could make something out of myself, but I am still convinced to this day that she only did it to get me out of her house as much as possible. 

Anyway, it was my sophomore year at Idaho University, and we had one of the best baseball seasons in state history, so much so that we were invited to a tournament in New York City. This was not just any tournament, but one to determine who was the best team in the country. All the Ivy League teams were guaranteed a spot, so I felt honored when I heard that our small university was selected. It was a pretty big deal, and MLB managers were looking to sign players for the winning team. It was a life changing opportunity, and we had a lot at stake. However, David did not seem to care. The first thing that was on his mind the night we arrived in New York City, was Manhattan. He wanted to see the bright lights and stand in the heart of the Big Apple, but that was not what we were there for. So as soon as I got to the hotel, I was ready to hit the hay so that I was well rested for our game tomorrow. I remember I was deep in sleep when the sounds of pebbles hitting the window woke me up. As soon as my eyes opened, I already knew who it was. David Tillman was the only person who was bold enough to make such a scene so late at night. 

“Ray! Ray!” he called out repeatedly. I wanted to ignore him, but I knew he would only keep on screaming, and Coach would hear. I whisked the blanket to the floor and made my way quickly to the window.

“Won’t you shut up! People are trying to sleep here,” I lash out at him, but it only made him laugh. 

“Oh, c’mon you're no fun.” It was at that moment that I noticed that he had a glass bottle in his hand. And guessing by his behavior it definitely was not water. 

“Are you drunk?” I whisper trying not to get him to notice because Coach already warned us.

“What? Me… no.” He then lifted his bottle in the air. “This belongs to our good old friend, Ryan.” At that point, it was obvious that he was under the influence because we had no friend named Ryan.

“David, wait right there. And don’t take another step… or sip. I’m coming down.” The lights were already out in the room, so I had to feel around for clothes. I snuck out the door so that my roommates would not hear me. When I get outside, I hear David loudly humming to a tune he heard on the radio earlier that day, but once he saw me, he made a run down the crowded streets. “Hey, Come back!” I yelled as I pulled up my oversized pants. He continued to run from me, nearly tumbling to the ground. His vision must have fooled him because he had started to run in the streets. “Stop!” I shouted.

David then made a sharp left turn into a dark alley, his body kept hitting the tin garbage cans. I knew he would have bruised the next morning. He then bust through the side doors of a building that turned out to be a nightclub. The exact place Coach would not want us to be at. The music from the band filled the alley along with the sound of people who were hooting and hollering. 

I knew I should not have gone in, but I could not let my best friend get in trouble, so I opened the door to the new world. Then Bam! I saw her! Before that moment I did not believe in love at first sight, but it all changed when I laid eyes on her. Her curvy silhouette, her dark hair, and green eyes was all I could focus on; at that moment I did not care about finding David. She was not too under dressed like the other girls but wore a dress that stopped right below her knees and flowed every time she moved her hips. And she had this expensive looking bracelet on her right hand. She was the up on stage as a backup singer for some blonde diva with overdone make up. After being distracted by your mother for way too long, I had to get it together. I had to look for David because I knew that if we were not back in time for the bed check, that I could kiss my dream of being in the MLB goodbye.

After almost twenty minutes of trying to act as I belonged there, I found David laid out on some table. 

“Hey, get up!” I said to him before slapping him around. He got up after the third or so slap before giving me a huge grin.

“You found me?” He questioned because he probably did not remember our run in that we had minutes before.

“Yes, you dummy. Now's let's go,” I pulled him off the clothed table and started to drag his heavy body around the club trying to make it to the exit. I was arm's length to the door when a large Italian man walked up to us yelling in both English and Italian. I was able to make out most of it because at that time I spoke some Italian. Anyway, he thought that David and I worked there and was wondering why we were not serving. We, well to tell it correctly, I tried to tell him that we were baseball players here in town for a tournament, but he did not buy it. He brought us to the kitchen and gave us some black uniforms to wear as servers.

“Take this!” He demanded. “Be out in ten minutes! Dieci!”

Looking back, I could have just ran out of the restaurant, but I was too afraid. The guy was twice my size. However, I am glad I did not, because as I left the kitchen, I saw her again talking to another girl. She must have noticed me looking because she stopped in her conversation to talk to me.

“Can I help you?” I was shaking in my boots, and I was barely able to answer.

“Um… Yes. I thought… you were amazing out there.” I stammered. She turned back to a friend and whispered something, then her friend walked off in another direction, and she walked closer to me. My palms grew sweaty and my heart felt as if it was going to rip out of my chest.

“Your accent, where’re you from?”

“Idaho.” I said with a bit more confidence.

“Idaho? Never been. So, when did you move to New York?”

“Well, I actually don’t live here.”

“But you work here in New York? You are a very busy man,” She giggled.

“No, I don’t live nor work here. I am here for a baseball tournament, and I was chasing my drunk friend. When he ran in here, and the owner believed that we worked for him and started yelling at us to put these uniforms on. And it leads us here. I have a pretty crazy couple of minutes,” I chuckled.

“Hm… I heard a lot about Mr. Russo, from my manager. He does not have the best reputation here in the business.”

“I figured. So, you are a singer?” Thinking back, I do not know why I said that. Obviously, she was a singer.

“Yes, but I only do backup.”

“Why not move to the front?” I asked. 

She tugged at one of her shoulder-lengthened curls. “I have tried. But I’m not blonde, they want blonde. Plus, I’m not the skinniest. I just am not who they lookin’ for.”

“Well, I think you're perfect.” I said, however at the time I felt like an idiot. She was the first girl that made me feel the way I felt, and I did not want to ruin it. “I am sorry. That was stupid.”

“No, it was sweet. Look…”

“Ray.”

“Ray, I have an audition and I should probably get going. But I would love to finish this conversation. Do you want to meet me here around ten?”

“Um… I would love to, but I have prior engagements.”

“Oh… well it was nice meeting you, Ray.”

“You too.” 

When she walked off in the shadows of the club, I instantly regretted not getting her information. At that time, I did not even know your mother’s name. I went ahead and finished the impromptu opportunity of working at the nightclub in New York. And I decided that I would just accept my punishment later. 

I believe I, along with David and the other workers, was let off a little past midnight. I remember being excited because this was the first money that I earned myself. However, as I was leaving, the little club, I noticed that there were dozens of people standing around a corner. I wanted to see what was so eye worthy. As I made my way through the crowd, I saw that there was a bad car accident, a head on head collision. My whole body went numb as I saw the gruesome scene left behind. Both car’s windshields were shattered into pieces, while a body was covered with a white towel, but you could still see it was a male because of the shoes.

I stayed there along with a sober up David, until the scene was cleaned up. We were about to head back to the hotel when something caught my eye, a silver bracelet laying on the ground. As I went to pick it up, your mother popped into my head. She was wearing the same exact silver bracelet on stage. It sent me into a panic. 

Had the talented singer died? Why was I so angry? Did I love her? Of course, I could not have, I do not even know her name. If she is alive, where is she? Maybe… a hospital. All these thoughts were running through my head.

 My brain kept racing. David did not understand why I was so angry. But he was never truly there to see the effect she had on me. I remember telling David to go on ahead and walk back to the hotel. Meanwhile, that whole night I looked around the city of New York going from hospital to hospital looking for a backup singer that I did not even know.

It was around four that morning when I found the correct hospital, about six miles away from where the night club was at. They did not allow visitors until sunrise, so I had to wait a few hours, but all I had running through my mind was how embarrassed I would be if a boyfriend, fiancé or even husband came to her rescue. Did I mistake her kindness as flirting?

However, nobody showed up, not even her mother. I was the one and only person to walk in those doors. It was around two that afternoon, when she opened her pretty green eyes. She did not notice me immediately, she even mistook me for a doctor, but I did not care. I missed all my games to be there with her. Her left leg was broken as well as her right arm. Each day we grew to know each other deeper and deeper. That was when I found out that she was an orphan, which explained why no one came.

The hospital let her out a month later, and I was still by her side, although my mother had much to say about it. However even after that month I spent with her, I still did not know her name. We walked down the hallway out of the hospital, and she said, “My name is Caroline, by the way.” It was like music to my ears.

We exchanged addresses, and we often wrote. A few months later Caroline surprised me with a visit, which she was supposed to stay for a week, but ended up staying longer. 

Before I knew it, we were engaged, then married, and then had you. 

—————

As I reminisce on these memories that God has given, I realize that they are trillions of miles away, just like the stars that are up above me. Yet the light of those moments still shines in the midst of death. My dearest Evelyn, Death is here now, and I have no choice but to answer. Although I will not get the chance to tell you this story, keep in mind that I love you, and I will be watching you from a place beyond these very stars.