A Nightmare in the Daytime

            A Nightmare in the Daytime

Suzanne Marsh

“I am going downstairs to kill them!” The raspy shaky voice cried into the phone. Fear is never a pretty sight; it is also a motivator in a crisis. I felt both that day so very long ago. I think it was the most terrifying thing that could possibly happen to me. The voice belonged to my mother, she had been hallucinating for several months, while her doctors were at a total loss as to why. During this time dad had taken mom to Hawaii for their second honeymoon. When they returned, I noticed locks on all the doors especially those going to the basement. I questioned my dad:

“What’s going on pop? What’s with the locks?”

“Your mom thinks there are people trying to kill her. I had to put extra locks on the hotel

room doors.”

The day of my twenty third birthday, I spent with mom and dad at Meyer Hospital where she was committed for observation. She was afraid but not as terrified as I would have thought. She was in the hospital for almost two weeks. When she returned home, she was put into a group setting, where she could be kept busy.

After my youngest daughter was born, things went south. Dad did not want to put mom in a nursing home so he would drop her off during the day, then pick her up when he got off work. That worked well for a short while; until she decided to go for a walk. I went after her, with the baby in the car seat. I finally caught up with her. I felt a great deal of relief. I knew then she would have to go into a nursing home, there was no way I could take care of her and three small children. I broached the subject with my dad. He agreed that it would be safer for her. So, to the nursing home she went.

The nursing home had to keep her restrained a good portion of the time. It was becoming a terrifying nightmare for dad and I. Dad finally put her in the mental hospital in Buffalo, New York. That place was terrifying no matter which way you look at it. Bars and locked doors, it was no place for mom.

Once again, dad took her home. He hired a young woman to take care of her. This young woman used all his stamps to address envelopes for her wedding instead of caring for my mother. Life was certainly becoming a nightmare in the daytime. She quit, so dad thought she could be alone as long as I checked on her every few hours. The first several days everything went well. She also was very unsteady on her feet, making things even worse.

At this particular junction, mom had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Parkinson’s sometimes manifests itself as a mental issue, that was the case for my mom. The hallucinations were part of the way it manifested itself. She was now not only unsteady on her feet, but she was becoming frightening, actually terrifying would be a better word. I would take the girls to see her, she would attempt to get up off the sofa, she reminded me of Lazarus rising from the dead. Actually, Parkinson’s atrophies muscles. The face becomes stone like.

It was a beautiful sunny morning; I had just put the baby down for her nap. I called mom and we talked. She told me the “family in the basement is going to kill me”, I tried to reason with her explaining there was no one there but her. and she was going to kill the “family”. I really had no idea what to do. I could not leave the girls but I could not take them with me either. I barely knew the neighbors, we had just moved there. I hated the thought of having to call my dad at work. I ran over to the neighbor’s house:

“Would you mind watching my daughters, my mom is not well. I don’t want them to see

her like this.”

My neighbor took her daughter and followed me back home. I showed her where everything was she would need. I then grabbed my car keys and drove toward my mom and dad’s home. Normally it was about a fifteen-minute drive, I made it in five. I went through one red light; I think in the back of my mind I was trying to attract the attention of one of the local police officers. I went by the park at fifty miles per hour, there was not a police officer sitting there, usually there were at least two or three.

I pulled into the driveway, rang the backdoor buzzer, finally the door opened. I was no prepared in any way for dealing with my mom. She stood poised with a butcher knife; I had no clue what to say. Reasoning with her to put down the knife was out of the question, she kept reiterating she was going downstairs to kill the family that was attempting to kill her. I felt as if I were staring at my own immorality. I wasn’t ready to for this nightmare in the daytime. I attempted to walk into the kitchen so I could use the phone, which sat on the desk between the living room and dining room. I called my dad:

“Dad, you need to come home now! Mom is talking about killing the “family” downstairs.”

“I am leaving now; I’ll be there as soon as I can.

I hung up the phone to find my mom poised with the knife. The mind sometimes blocks things out that are so terrifying a person cannot even put it into words. This was the case for me. I have fifteen minutes in my life that I cannot account for. I have no idea how I got the knife away from my mom. The only thing I remember is putting the knife back where it belonged and dad coming home.

This is a true story, it happened to me. Parkinson’s is a hideous disease; I hope someday they find a cure for it. Perhaps with actor Michael J. Fox having it and speaking about will help everyone to understand just how horrible it truly is. It is a nightmare in the daytime for family members attempting to deal with it. I don’t know if there are support groups now but there was nothing back when this took place. My mom died in 1978, I hope and pray that no one else ever has to go through the ordeal my dad and I went through with my mom. I faced my greatest fear that day, when I realized my mom could have stabbed me. To this day I still carry a fear of knives.