A Strange Occurence

January 24, 2024

A Strange Occurrence

By Carol Martin

 It was 3: AM when I turned off the computer, and I sat there tired and staring at the screen. I could see my reflection, but when I moved my tea cup back and forth my reflection did not move with me. I tried moving my head back and forth, and I could see myself holding the cup, but the image was not moving like me. Startled and bewildered, I then saw people moving around! Some of them I knew, but they were deceased. One man had a white baseball cap on, but I could not make out the insignia on the back of the hat. One man kept peeking at me from behind the corner of the kitchen. It was my husband, and he smiled and waved at me. The screen changed back to normal, but there was a reflection of a man approaching me from behind holding a strap, and it looked like he was going to strangle me! I froze and told myself not to turn around, or acknowledge its existence. But I could see him so clearly on the screen. It’s only an apparition, I thought, and it will either disappear or kill me, so I said: “Go ahead! I was willing to face the fear come what may. I couldn’t convince myself entirely that it wasn’t real. Then I could see that the man was gone. I thought it was because he fed on fear. I’d rather face anything than have that horrible feeling of fear, so I promptly dispel it in any way I can.

  Still sitting in my swivel chair I turned around to see if someone was in my apartment, but I already knew no one could get in because I have bars on the windows and the apartment complex has cameras. Racing thoughts were going through my mind. I was nervous, but I was in reality and knew I was being silly to even look. So I turned back to the screen, and there was my husband and my son. I leaned in to get a closer look. It was a scene from the past of our old apartment, which has the same layout as my current place. I zoomed in to make sure it wasn’t a reflection, and I noticed the thermostat on the wall was different from the one I have now, I was taken aback by this. This was really my old apartment! I was wide awake and it seemed so real. My son was two years old in the vision, but he’s 39 in real-time. He was the only person on the screen still living. It took a couple minutes before my son noticed me. He was busy playing with his toys on the floor. Then he got up and shook the gate a couple of times trying to get into the kitchen, but it was a sturdy gate. The detail was incredible. My son was wearing his blue-footed pajamas, which I remember so well. I don’t know how long I was watching, but I noticed each time they appeared they were wearing different clothes. My son finally came close to the screen, and I wanted to hug him. I thought he recognized me, but he picked up a stick and was about to hit me with it or hit the screen, but my husband stopped him and took him to another room. I guess I don't look the same as I did thirty-seven years ago. I remember one year I cut my hair and got a perm, and my son cried over it. My husband and son reappeared several times only to vanish again. There was no sound so we couldn't communicate. The other people did not notice my presence. I watched intently searching for others who I might recognize. My friend Mell was sitting with his back to me, wearing that old cowboy hat. My first concern was for my son. I pulled myself away to call my son and he was fine. Then I turned off the lights and went to bed. I told myself, “None of this was real,” and I would later figure out what happened. There had to be a logical explanation.

 The next day before I turned on the computer it happened again. Dread and fear hit me like never before, and I was not the type to scare easily. I peered in to see who was there, but they kept disappearing, and I realized this could go on forever, and I would never connect with a single soul. The allure was powerful because these were loved ones who had passed away. This must be the abyss, I thought, and I was in danger of falling into an eternity of nothingness, a bottomless pit, chasing after ghosts that weren’t there. I didn’t want to get sucked into this again, but I wasn’t sure of how much control I had over it. I called my sister, and I told her what I saw. As we were talking I glanced at the computer screen, which was about six feet away from the couch, and I could still see the images moving around on the screen. I told my sister it’s happening again as we speak. I can clearly see my husband and my son. “This is a bonafide hallucination,” I exclaimed! “I never had one before, and I don’t know what’s causing it.” My sister paused for a moment then suggested that the hallucination may have been caused by a medication I was taking, but I had discontinued that medicine well over a month ago. It was the enemy striking again with a deep, foreboding depression that I could not elude, but I didn’t tell my sister that. Later that evening Pearl and Destiny came knocking on my door, but I chose not to invite them in. I had a dream that night that I was moving through a tunnel without my body. Everything was spinning so fast, I couldn’t discern what was there. It wasn’t my life passing before my eyes, and all I could see were specs of light and color fused together in a rotating solid mass. I thought there must be more than one life in that tunnel. It could have been all living things connected in a beautiful, timeless spiral soaring through space. People who have had near-death experiences have spoken about a tunnel with a light at the end of it. There was no light at the end of my tunnel, just a pitch-black hole.

  I began to mull over possible explanations for this strange manifestation. At first, I thought I was going to hell, but that didn’t happen (yet). It could still be some kind of a spiritual experience such as a warning or a premonition. I don’t drink alcohol or take drugs, so I can take those things off the list. I haven’t been in an accident or hit on the head. I reviewed some paranormal options, but if it was something like clairvoyance or astral projection, there was no way for me to verify it. Also, I think I would be aware of it as I was fully conscious when it happened. People who report such things are aware of the incidents. Mental illness is a potential explanation. I have suffered from clinical depression since my early teens, but I’ve never had a psychotic episode. A psychotic episode occurs when a person sees and hears things that other people don’t see and hear. Clinical depression is different from situational depression. Everyone gets depressed at some time in their lives. It could be over the loss of a job, a divorce, or a death in the family. Even kids can get depressed over things like the break-up of a friendship, losing at a sporting event, getting bad grades, or just being treated badly by someone. These situations pass over time, and most people recover. Clinical depression is a whole other ball game. It’s a biological illness that can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain or bad genes. Major Depression is a life-long mental illness that can be managed, but never completely eliminated. One can have both clinical and situational depression creating a double whammy. For me the illness waxes and wanes.

 I found out something else about hallucinations today as I was doing some research. I’ve been recently diagnosed with eye thyroid disease, but I didn’t know until today that it caused psychotic symptoms consisting of auditory and visual hallucinations. So I found the answer, but it’s been over a month of not knowing what caused it. My doctor didn’t tell me about this symptom, so all this time I thought I was losing my mind. I’ve had a couple of other hallucinations since then, which are concerning. My plants started rapidly moving around, and throwing out shoots at me trying to reach me. I had to go up to them and take a long, close look to get them to stop. Anyway, I’m grateful and somewhat relieved that I finally found out what’s causing it, and I’m hoping medication will help. I’m running out of time because I’m a disabled, senior citizen with multiple medical issues, but I want to publish a short story/memoir before I face my demise.