Inked

***This story has themes of infidelity and sexual situations

Tay wanted to forget him. Forget how his steel gray eyes looked at her like he was staring into her very being. Forget the way his hugs enveloped her like a vice. And forget the way he made her feel with one touch. Yet here she was. Sitting in his chair again, her skin exposed, and anticipation tingled her spine.

She silently watched him lay out the tools of his trade: ink, small plastic caps, and thin needles. Occasionally, he would glance over at her and flash a devilish smirk, making her blush. He didn’t know how she felt, did he?

Aaron was a hard one to figure out. His soft-spoken demeanor masked the intense emotions she could see swimming in his eyes. The small glimpses she had into the cracks of his shell revealed darkness, and it both scared and intrigued her. But wasn’t it the darkness that made every artist that much better? Tay knew that from experience, pouring every bit of her pain into every book she wrote.

Tay also had the misfortune of making a fool of herself whenever she talked to Aaron. She always managed to say something that made him distant again. It had been that way since she first walked into his shop. It was always one step forward, two steps back with him. But in her defense, his mixed messages didn’t help the situation.

“Hey Tey, where are we putting this one?” Aaron’s voice startled Tay from her musing.

“ I was thinking about my left thigh. What do you think?”

Aaron studied her for a minute, his gaze traveling up and down her body. He had to cough to hide the sigh that escaped his lips. Tay captivated him every time they were together. But, truth be told, he didn’t know how he felt about her; she both excited him and pushed him away—a deadly combination. He didn’t understand why she continued to see him. He hadn’t been the nicest of people to her and wasn’t downright mean, but his lavish attention, followed by blatantly ignoring her, would have pushed anyone else away.

“I think it’s the perfect spot. Lots of room and not too tender. Cuz this will be one long and sick piece.”

“It’s certainly going to be badass, that’s for sure.” Tay stood up and moved closer to Aaron; the closer she got, the stronger the darkness in his eyes seemed to get. Then, at the last second, she froze.

“By now, you should know the routine. So get over here and take those pants off.” Aaron’s eyes danced with mischief as he said it, replacing the darkness and at least taking some of the edge off for Tay.

“Well, I never know how you want me half the time.”

“Is that so? I don’t think you want me to answer that, sweetie.”

Tay grimaced. She had walked right into that one. No matter how long it had been or how uncomfortable it initially felt, the two seemed to fall back into flirting. She giggled as she pushed her pants down past her hips.

Silence filled the space as Aaron readied Tay’s skin for the template. His cold hands were like ice against her superheated skin. Suddenly, he stepped back.

“Check it out! Is that a good spot? It is one super sick tattoo. I am super excited you jumped on it.”

Tay broke out with a huge smile. The gothic pin-up girl took up most of her left thigh. Dark and harsh, she was on the surface the total opposite of Tay, but she was Tay. She had the secrets and desires that she kept to herself. She was the mistakes and sins that she hid from the world. She was her innermost desire and feelings. “I friggin love it! Aaron, this is so awesome.”

“Right? Now, if you have to tap out, we can finish her next weekend.”

“Uh.. no! No way in hell. I am not leaving here till this is done. I have been waiting for this one; in fact, this is the last one. The tattoo to end all tattoos, so to speak.”

She said it with a chuckle, but it took Aaron off guard. After this, Tay’s name wouldn’t appear on his schedule? No more mixed emotions about having her so close to him that he could feel her heat. Why was that statement bothering him so much?

“What? Well, I guess you could change your mind, right?”

“I guess.” Tay settled in the chair on her right side, her head propped up on her elbow. “But I think I know when I’ve outstayed my welcome.” Her eyes met his with no hint of humor.

Aaron turned from her and went to work, preparing his gun. Her declaration had seriously caught him off guard. For once, she didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear or shy away from the apparent truth. She had made the statement to send a message. A quiet tension settled in the room. Nothing but the stereo playing in the background, and even the song was mocking him. The singer broken, too.

Tay was acutely aware of how fast her heart had started beating when her statement finally registered with Aaron. Had she gone too far, finally stating what had been on her mind for weeks? Tay hadn’t been sure when she walked into the shop, but this might be her last piece. Truth be told, she had gotten way more tattoos than she had ever even thought of getting. It was a strange attraction that kept her booking appointments. The feeling that she had to be close to Aaron. And being on the receiving end of his tattoo gun was the only way.

Initially, Tay had hoped their relationship would develop. They chatted frequently, texted often, and met up a few times. But every time she would open her mouth to insert her foot, Aaon would back off. She could never tell what would upset him, and even after they almost hooked up, he was cold as ice.

“Earth to Tay!” Tay jumped a little. “You are so quiet today. Are you serious about this being your last tattoo?”

“I think so. I have way overstayed my welcome, and I feel that I’m an annoyance to you.”

The gun in Aaron’s hand jerked a little. What the fuck had she just said? It was a side of Tay he had never seen before. So confident, and resolute, and he saw just a little bit of sadness in her eyes.

“I never said you annoyed me.” He cleared his throat. The truth stung; he hated being called out.

“Bullshit. You didn’t have to say it in so many words. I know what I am and can tell when I annoy someone. Maybe we shouldn’t have this conversation when you have a needle in my skin.” Nerves were overtaking her. The last thing she wanted was to walk out of there with an unfinished, or fucked up, tattoo.

Tay heard the sound of the tattoo gun being thrown on the tray. She shuddered. She had pissed him off, and she was there half-exposed, and regretting ever opening her mouth. Next thing she knew, Aaron’s lips were right next to her ear, his breath hot on her neck, his hand resting on her exposed skin.

“You do annoy me.”

“Why?” she sat up and spun around to face him. “Why do I annoy you? All I ever did was follow your goddamn lead. I have been attracted to you since I first walked in that door, awed by you. And you knew it. You knew it, and you used that to your advantage. All I ever wanted was one chance to be close to you, and all I ever did was screw it up.”

The next thing she knew, Arron’s lips were on hers, crushing into her, soft and warm, forcing her lips apart, nibbling and tasting her till a sigh escaped her lips, and she squirmed in the chair. Then they were gone, his warmth replaced by a cold chill.

“Is that the kiss of an annoyed man?” His words were only a whisper, his steel gray eyes fixed on her flushed face.

Tay took a minute to catch her breath, so many emotions spilled through her. Most of all, she felt an intense need to feel his warmth again. She spoke carefully, her breath catching; “I would say that’s the kiss of a conflicted man.” She looked deep in his eyes, daring him to kiss her again. Where had this confidence come from? Never would she have dared to say something like that to him in the past. “But the question is, why are you conflicted, Aaron?”

Aaron stood, placing the tattoo gun slowly down on the tray. His back to Tay, he ran his hands through his hair, and a guttural sound escaped his lips. Suddenly, he was facing her, and a different look filled his eyes.

“Because I’m a weak man, Tay! Five years ago, when you first came in here, I was married. And I tried my hardest to stay away from you, I did. Then that night we stayed here talking for hours after your tat was done, I couldn’t help but kiss you that night. You were everything I always dreamed of, just at the wrong time.” Anguish filled his eyes. “You were everything, at the wrong time. But I made out with you that night. It took everything in me to let you walk out that door.”

“You texted me the next day and told me it was a mistake! I was a mistake! That I read it all wrong, you crushed me, Aaron. Why didn’t you come clean with me then? Tell me the reason you pulled away? Instead, you ignored me and blocked me.” Tay stood, slowly kicking away her shorts, cautiously reaching for him. “I knew you were married, that makes me twice as horrible.” Her words were a whisper, and she reached out and rested her hand on his chest. Bracing for him to push her away.

Instead, he placed his hand over hers, “I don’t know what it makes us. You see, I was justifying it because my marriage was going down the tubes, my wife was an alcoholic, and all we did was fight. I told myself anything to make myself feel better. You do annoy me, you annoy me because you’re everything, and temporary at the same time.” He rested his forehead on Tays.

Tay slowly looked up at him, placing her lips against his with the softest of touches. He pulled her into him then, crushing her body so tightly to his that it felt like she was going to be absorbed into his soul. He kissed her again, hungrily, like nothing ever mattered again in the world except her kiss.

Just as suddenly, he pulled back. “I need to finish.”

“Finish your explanation?

“No, finish your tattoo. Please. I need to finish it.”

He said it with such painful need that it saddened Tay to her core. She nodded, her eyes filling with tears as she slipped back into the chair. Something deep inside told her this would be her last tattoo.

He worked in silence for a long time. The buzz of the tattoo gun and their breath were the only sounds in the room. Periodically, he would stop and wipe the tears from Tay’s face or kiss her lightly on the forehead, then the neck, his damp eyes locking with hers.

It was in the second hour, when Aaron had stopped to wipe the inky blood from Tay’s almost done tattoo, that she couldn’t take the silence anymore. Clearing her throat, she shifted in the chair, looking at her red, raw skin, covered by the most beautiful artwork she had ever seen.

“But you let me back in. You unblocked me, texted me, and we spent hours chatting about everything and anything. Then you tattooed me again and again, until I said one thing: that we should grab a drink, then you acted like I had the plague. Suddenly, I had no appointments for you, and my texts went unanswered. Until I got the ‘this was a mistake’.” Her tears were flowing freely then. “What was your excuse that time, Aaron, cuz by then you were divorced, or I would have never given in to my moment of weakness. Why am I always a mistake?” She turned her head so she wouldn’t have to see his eyes.

“Damn it Tay! I didn’t say it with anger or animosity; I said it in frustration. You’re not a mistake, we would be a mistake! Because I can’t be faithful, Tay. I can’t. I didn’t cheat with you that night, I pulled away again later, all because I realized I can’t be faithful! I would hurt you, and I know you too well, love you too much, to hurt you.” Reaching out, he placed a finger under Tay’s chin, making her meet his eyes. “I have cheated in every relationship I have ever been in, Tay. You deserve better, all women deserve better, so I told myself I will never be in a relationship again. And you are not a one-night stand!”

“Why didn’t you let me make that decision, Aaron?” She got up, slowly inching her shorts up over her sore thigh. “ You could have told me all that and let me make the decision.” She was confused by her conviction. Where was this strength coming from? He had been all she had wanted for the last five years, the cause of her doubts about herself. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and beg him. But she couldn’t. She needed to be strong and respect herself this time.

“Wait, it’s not done! Your tattoo, I need to finish it.” He stammered, as tears streamed down both his cheeks. With an uneven breath, he stepped forward. “What would you have decided, Tay? If I told you all that?”

Tay sat back down on the edge of the table, taking Aaron’s hands in hers. She looked at their fingers; she needed their combined strength.

“I would have told you it’s ok, that we could work on it. I would have tried to change you. And I would have been pissed if you cheated again, but I would have tried to fix you. And we’d both end up hurting each other. And I’m saying this to convince myself, too, because I need the strength to walk away. If I stay here right now, we're going to try to finish this tattoo, and we're gonna end up sleeping together and maybe trying, but in the end, I just can’t hurt anymore.”

Tay picked up her bag and started to walk toward the door. “Wait! Tay, I can’t let you walk out of here, not with unfinished…work.” His voice was pleading, filled with heat. “Please, Tay!”

“I need to leave Aaron. It’s just a reason to come back, someday, it’s unfinished, just like us.” She walked forward, taking every ounce of determination in her body to finish the task. Pausing at the door, she whispered, “I’m not a mistake.” Leaving the door open so Aaron could watch her walk away.