Transformed by Love

Janice Thompson-Trainor looked at the perfect western blot image in front of her and then at the expectant face of the post- doctoral (postdoc) scholar, flushed with excitement at the clearing of this first hurdle.

"Well, it is unmistakable evidence that our protein is being successfully expressed by our novel in vitro organoid. However, I'm surprised at the quality of work from someone on her second postdoc. I would expect this substandard work from a junior graduate student. I'll expect this to be repeated and on my desk by 9 am tomorrow. "

"Dr Trainor", Janice did not allow her post docs to address her by her first name, "it's already 6 pm."

"And?" She said coldly. "May I remind you that we work 12-hour days in this laboratory? In my days as a post doc 16-hour days were de rigueur. I understand things are more laid back in the third world, but you need to adjust ."Dr. Sarah -Ann Young adjusted her lab coat murmured a low "have a good evening" to her boss and head of the laboratory and slowly got to her feet.

"Please close the door behind you."

“She knows well I want to slam the door behind me.” Sarah -Ann fumed to herself. “It's almost comical that she thinks she can break my self-esteem like she does to her technicians and graduate students.”

Watching her newest post doc close the door deliberately softly behind her, Janice was raging. She did look 25 despite her 42 years and she was as beautiful as the photo on her Curriculum Vitae which she had been sure had benefitted from filters as her own Linked in photos had been. Not that Calum would cheat. He never looked at anyone else. There could never be any one more devoted than a sexually- awakened nerd. Nevertheless, she could tell her beauty would be a constant source of annoyance. Nonetheless not for a second did she regret her decision especially after this first sign of success. Dr. Sarah Young had ticked all her curated uniquely twisted boxes.

Later that evening as she was about to go into the imaging room to analyze her repeated experiment, Sarah Ann almost ran into her boss' significant other.

"Steady on" he said not because your country finally made it to an Olympic final!"

Dr. Calum Bromfield was known for his "dad" jokes but, overwhelmed with relief that he hadn't knocked hours of work out of her hands, added to being utterly exhausted and impressed at his knowledge of her country's successes, she laughed harder than the joke deserved. Encouraged, he continued about her laughing being a "blot" on his perfect record of yawning silence greeting his jokes, emphasis on the yawning.

She laughed again, "Now you're really going to make me drop my samples."

"Here let me take these before you drop more than hints."

"You're really on a roll, she said you're about to make me roll on the ground in laughter"

He stopped, stunned and stared into her eyes. She noticed his eyes were an odd shade of dark blue. "That was really awful! I think you've won that round in terrible jokes!"

They walked together into the room, discovering that they had way more in common than just terrible jokes.

"As you know I'm Janice's main collaborator. Now that we've established that the protein is being expressed, will you be ready tomorrow to check that it's localising to the membrane?"

They set a time for the next afternoon, Calum agreeing there was absolutely no need to repeat the blots for a third time when these were clearly at publication standard.

Lying in his bed beside Janice that night Calum relived those magical few hours. He had never experienced such an easy rapport with anyone; not since his childhood friend that had shared his love for bugs. He couldn't decide whether it was their shared juvenile sense of humour or her rapt fascination when he described his insect mounting hobby that seemed to make his insides melt. He felt a twinge of guilt and snaked an arm around Janice who promptly slapped his hand away with her signature irritated grunt.

At 2pm promptly they met in the laboratory section that housed the fluorescent microscopy dark room. She looked exhausted and he felt a surge of tenderness towards her. He had not slept well himself, but he was sure hers wasn't from having him invade her dreams like she had his. To their great excitement the specialized protein had indeed inserted appropriately into the membrane. The success of this model for future experiments would allow for a range of experiments that would not have been feasible in in vivo models. This was yet another early hurdle cleared. Sarah Ann was to wonder some time later if it was her tiredness combined with the easy atmosphere between her and Calum and the inhibition -lowering effects of the dark room that made her throw her arms around him in a celebratory hug. It was so shockingly unprofessional and something she had never done to anyone she had just met let alone a superior. She felt Calum freeze for a moment before an almost imperceptible relaxing of his body and release of a breath she hasn't heard him take. She slipped out of his arms just as suddenly as her impetuous hug and apologised profusely. "I'm so mortified. I hadn't realised I had been so worried about this outcome. So much hangs on it" I'm sorry to justify this It was so unforgivable."

Calum opened his mouth to reassure her that it was quite understandable and not to worry. All that came out was embarrassed stuttering and mumbling. Eventually he gathered himself to say sternly. There's no need to over react like this Sarah Ann. The apologies not the hug. Let's just agree to forget this ever happened the hug not the result. She giggled and he chuckled in response. Thank you "DOCTOR Bromfield" she said for good measure. She was so relieved they had reverted seamlessly to their initial camaraderie.

"Shall we go immediately to tell Janice then" he asked. Would you mind if I stayed back here and worked on the images and some filing?

Calum who had been having second thoughts himself about facing Janicewith her after his reaction to her hug agreed with relief.

Sitting across from Janice willing himself not to blush when she asked why he had been present when they obtained the result. He again praised Sarah Ann 's wisdom in not being present in breaking the news to Janice. " My dear, he said. “You know how glitchy that software is. I didn't want your post doc and her incompetence all over it.” He saw her expression of satisfaction at his dismissive tone.

"She does have ideas way above her abilities.” She agreed. “Her arrogance and smugness over this model she came up with is such a turn off. "

He was barely listening. He had just caught a whiff of Sarah -Ann's perfume on his lab coat It brought back the memory of cushiony breasts against his body with possibly his own imagination filling in hard points gently sticking into his skin from that innocent hug.

"Thank God she is now cleared to go ahead to her former colleague's atomic force microscopy laboratory one hundred miles away so he can test whether the orientation of the protein is also correct. " He heard Janice saying as he forced himself back into paying attention.

Calum was also relieved. It was clear Janice was jealous of this postdoc who was poised to bring further glory to their name. He hoped his bored, condescending tone was not overdone and that it would put to rest any incipient thoughts she may have had that he was not immune to her post doc's charms.

At the same time, he hoped this months- long break from Sarah -Ann would allow his brain to suitably trivialize and downplay this surprise connection. Even more unexpected was this Nexus between someone seeming to actually like him and these strong lustful feelings that it had engendered in him. Janice had seduced him in a straightforward almost detached way. He had seen it coming a mile away she had cynically and correctly assumed that their contrasts would fascinate him and his inexperience would allow her to encircle him in a sexual thrall. He was under no illusions that she actually liked him as a person. She respected his work; a respect that seemed to be completely compartmentalized from any softer feelings she might have.

She gave him what she perceived as just enough to feed the sexual hold she had over him. She herself was a sexual being in that she saw it strictly as a bodily function with needs that she sated on him. This had been beyond his wildest dreams but it was obvious that his dreams had been restrained from ignorance. “How can you long for something you didn't know existed?” He asked himself. His newfound feelings hinted tantalisingly at a world that he had not come even close to envisioning.

The weeks dragged. Gradually Calum's erotic dreams subsided, and he had started to convince himself that it would all work out fine and he could control all these elements of potential disaster.

The work, in contrast was progressing without glitches which was highly unusual in the research world. Janice was torn between the satisfaction of the work going well and her irritation that the annoying "girl" would be even more smug,

One day she came into his office and announced that unfortunately he would have to take a trip to the collaborator in whose laboratory Sarah Ann was being trained. Between him and Sarah Ann they are proposing that they can, not only establish the changes of the physical properties of the cells induced by the protein but how these changes influenced the cell-to-cell adhesions. “You're the membrane biophysicist so you'll need to go.”

It was winter and a snowstorm was expected in the next few days. It was decided that a day trip would be enough, and he would be back long before the threat of the storm. Janice was anxious for the work to move along for an early publication.

It was a university he was well acquainted with and he found the laboratory easily enough. Sarah Ann 's reaction was all that he could have hoped for and dreaded at the same time. She was so happy to see him. It showed in her face before she schooled her features into a more appropriate friendly welcoming smile. As for him he realised he had been fooling himself and he knew his life was about to drastically change.

"I hope you don't mind that we have an entire itinerary for you. Have you had breakfast?"

It was afternoon when they finally got a moment alone.

“Why don't you take Calum inside the AFM room. You're the expert now! “

With those statements Dr. Frank unwittingly changed their lives.

He had put 2 people who had been abruptly separated in the middle of a newly discovered attraction in a small, enclosed room.

"Here I have zeroed in on the membrane on a regular optical microscope which is integrated with the AF microscope. The chair is at my height you'll have to adjust it. "

Calum sat down and looked at this major progress that would give him yet another publication. She was so close to him he wondered if she couldn't hear his heart pounding. He managed to ask a question about something that may have been an artifact, and she leaned over him to see just as he was standing up to get out of the way.

He had to sit abruptly back down to prevent them both from falling with the result that she fell across his lap.

He was mortified but immediately made it worse by trying to help to turn her over his hand touching her breast in the process. As he tried desperately to decide between apologising and running the risk of bringing more attention to it or pretend it never happened, she took that decision out of his head by righting her body by herself sitting on his lap and putting his hand more firmly on her breast.

She watched in fascination as those dark blue eyes got impossibly black. Her lips separated as his breath started to come in short bursts. Realising that he was paralysed by whatever was going through his head, she leaned forward and placed those lips on his.

Hours later she was again sprawled against him, this time on his hotel bed. He had called Janice and told her he was spending the night based on the weather report of the snowstorm arriving earlier than had been predicted.

Desperate worry had started to penetrate Calum's perfect happiness.

"This is a disaster" he said glumly.

“Why? do you still love her? “

“No that's not it but how can you continue being her post doc under these circumstances?”

“Is that all you're worried about? Well then, I'm about to make you a very happy man.”

“You couldn't possibly make me any happier.” For which he was rewarded with another kiss.

"My friend Dr. Frank was appalled when I told him what the working conditions have been like with Janice. He was especially shocked to hear that she only gave me my passport back when I was coming here. He has been urging me to take a post doc here. As you know he didn't have the funding to pay me but another collaborator of his is willing to take me into his laboratory ! So, ta dah, ethical objection to this relationship, removed."

All the while she had been talking, Calum's face had gradually been lighting up.

“ Oh honey, you were right my happiness is complete now.”

“I'm sorry I can't help you face the lioness in her den. “

“I'm so happy I could face far bigger monsters than her. We have tonight let's forget about her.”

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"You stupid man. Did you think I wouldn't find out? She was seen leaving your hotel room!"

Janice's office was not the place he would have chosen to have the inevitable discussion.

Janice, we didn't have sex. Out of respect for our relationship I felt like I owed you that.

I know that you fool. I went through your phone. You really don't know a thing about me if you think sex means anything to me. I wouldn't have cared one way or the other but you're in love with her" she spat at him in disgust.

I'm sorry Janice. I have nothing to say that could make this better. His mouth suddenly dry, he took a gulp of his neglected cup of lukewarm coffee. He hated any kind of confrontation and this one was absolutely the worst one of his life. In fact, he was sure he had never had one that had made the room seem to close in on him.

Strangely, either his vision was blurry, or the air was becoming thick and wavy.

Janice 's face was starting to look distorted but there was something about the smile on her face that alerted him and made him know that this was not a reaction to the stressful confrontation but that his coffee had been laced.

"You were willing to risk this successful collaboration that we have built over the years because of some feeling that for all you know could be transient. You're seeing a cardiologist dear Calum there will be no autopsy. Only your dear girlfriend will suspect something but who is going to listen to her?

I hope your long night of cuddling and foreplay was worth your life."

"I will die as a transformed man, believing I would have had a future full of happiness and knowing that against all odds this beautiful perfect woman had fallen in love with this awkward nerd. Yes, there may have been disillusionment ahead of me but thanks to you, I have been spared that. I can't think of a better way to die" he said, his voice slurring.

He had the satisfaction of seeing the twisted, cruel smile falter. She witnessed a look of perfect contentment as he took his last breath. It helped to inject authenticity into her planned terrified scream for someone to call 911.