You're Still Here

“Iced caramel latte,” the barista calls.

Kacie picks up her drink from the counter, heading out into the sunny day. She’s planning to take it to the park and breathe some fresh air for a while. The weather feels perfect today, and in Illinois, that’s rare.

She joins the wave of people on the sidewalk. The man ahead of her is donning a blue hoodie, which is pulled up, covering his head. When they reach the cross walk and start moving to the other side, she gets a glimpse of his face. It almost looks like it could be Branden Griffin, but it’s hard for her to be sure. 

The very musician whose concert she’s attending tonight . . .

Branden Griffin is kind of new. Kacie’s heard some of his songs and enjoys them. It definitely fits in with what she usually listens to—acoustic and lighthearted, tangled with meaningful lyrics that speak to her soul. Music has always been a type of escape for her. Something that slows her down and calms her racing thoughts. Branden Griffin is an up and coming artist, but she can see he’s already gaining popularity. He’s been popping up in her feed more often now, and his songs are gaining streams quickly. 

When she opens up social media to check her events, he’s right at the top. He has this short, neat hair that’s trimmed closer on the sides, yet remains unruly at the very top. A great jawline and dark, gentle eyes. White teeth that light up the image as he smiles at the camera.

The post reads: GET READY FOR TONIGHT! BRANDEN GRIFFIN TAKES THE STAGE AT 8PM.

Hundreds of people have liked and shared. In the comments, girls go on and on about how cute he is. Dina is a massive fan—it wouldn’t surprise Kacie if she was here in the comment section fawning over him either, but Dina doesn’t really use social media. They’re still getting to know each other, but she desperately wanted someone to come to this concert with her, so Kacie agreed.

As she continues to make her way to the park, the hooded guy moves in the same direction. She almost feels as though she’s following him. If it is Branden, he’s probably trying to lay low, right? She’s never been this close to a famous person before. People usually ask for photos and autographs, but Kacie doesn’t know if that’s really a good idea.

He stops walking and takes a seat on a park bench.

The very one she was headed to.

Pausing, she considers how to move forward. Her heart is racing, but she acts before she can think.

The next thing she knows, she’s standing in front of him.

“Do you mind sharing?”

Without looking at her, he shakes his head.

She half expected him to smile and say hello, maybe ask if she’s coming to his show later. He’s trying to make it big, so maybe being more encouraging towards fans is really the way to go.

After a few minutes of her drinking her coffee in silence and him slouching against the bench, looking at the sky, she opens her mouth again.

“I’m going to the concert tonight.” He almost seems to stiffen. She notices, but can’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. “You’re Branden, aren’t you? I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. I really wanted to come sit in the park today, and you came to the exact bench I always sit at. It’s a more secluded view of the park. Less people, more trees.”

He lowers his head.

Kacie finishes off her coffee, managing not to speak again. She feels like she should disappear. Clearly, he’s not as kind as she might have hoped. And she’s not really good at talking to people.

But as she rises to go, he says, “It’s a cloudy day.”

She remains standing, peering at the sky. “You’re right.”

“I love cloudy days.” He sounds like he’s smiling. “They’re my favorite.”

“My favorite is when it’s raining.”

“Have you ever gone into the rain, without a coat or umbrella to protect you?”

She ponders this. “You know what. I can remember two times when I did. Once was during a sleepover—me and my friend were out jumping on her trampoline, and suddenly it started to pour. But we were kids. We kept jumping.”

He turns towards her, seeming interested. “And the other time?”

“It was more recently. I was shopping at the store. When I went inside, it was sunny and warm. And by the time I was leaving, the entrance was blocked by so many people, refusing to get wet. They waited it out.” Kacie shrugs. “I moved past them and ran through it, all the way to the back of the parking lot where my car was.”

“How did it feel?”

“It was honestly invigorating.” Her answers seem to satisfy him. “How about you? Have you ever wandered out into a cloudy day?”

At that, he actually laughs. The corners of her lips tug up. 

He doesn’t say anything--just gets to his feet, and starts moving away.

She thinks that’s the end until he asks, “What’s your least favorite color?”

“You don’t want to know my favorite?” Kacie stands now too, moving to catch up with him.

“Not yet.”

Something about the way he says it makes her stomach flip. “Orange, I guess.”

“Why?”

“It doesn’t look good on me, so I never wear it. And otherwise, I really never think about it.”

“Your hair is kind of red. But it’s also blonde. In the sun it probably has an orange tint. Right?”

He’s paid that much attention to her hair color? “That’s why I avoid wearing it. It just doesn’t suit me.”

“Do you like oranges?”

“Not really. They’re too acidic.”

“I agree.”

She’s about to ask his least favorite  color when her stomach rumbles loudly. They’re walking by a restaurant and the smells from inside waft out, reminding her she hasn’t eaten in hours.

A question pops into her head, and she struggles with it for a few more minutes before relenting.

“Would you . . . Want to grab some food with me?”

His body goes rigid. She still can’t see his face well with the hood up, and he keeps it angled from her when they’re talking, but she imagines he’s frowning. She never should have asked. 

“I can’t be seen in public right now.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course.”

Maybe this is the end, Kacie thinks. They’re silent again now, and she’s hungry enough to devour a horse. It’s the perfect chance for them to part ways.

Instead, she claps her hands together. “What if I bring you something? We can find a secluded spot.”

His hand shoots up to the back of his neck, rubbing it as he considers. 

“Okay. Sure.”

A grin consumes her face. It’s good he can’t see her.

She has him wait, and runs to a nearby sandwich shopping, giving them their orders.

Once she has the sandwiches, she almost expects him to be gone—like she imagined the entire thing. But she spots his blue hoodie and relaxes instantly. 

He’s leaning against a building, his head turned down, when she approaches with their food. 

“Shall we find someplace to go?”

When he nods, they take off again, walking until they come to a bare patch of grass. The perfect place to host a picnic between two almost-strangers.

Kacie passes him his veggie and condiment laden order, then pulls out her own meatball marinara sub. This is probably the most messy, unflattering meal they could have decided on—yet it sounds better than anything else. 

They both dig in, not speaking until half of the food is consumed. 

“Thanks for this,” he says to her.

“No problem!”

Instantly, she wonders why he isn’t more busy today when he has a performance in mere hours. Should he really be dallying around with her? It seems like it would be a waste of his time. 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” she asks finally. 

He shrugs. “Not really. Do you want me to go?”

“No, no,” she says quickly. “But I mean, aren’t you kind of famous? I’m literally going to your concert soon. It feels weird, hanging out with you considering that. I don’t understand.”

After another bite, he sighs. “It’s not me.”

“What?”

“I’m not Branden Griffin.”

Confusion trickles in. “But . . . I thought—”

Before she can continue, he shoves his hood down, fully revealing himself to her.

Still, she’s not sure. He does resemble the guy she saw on her phone. Can a random person really be this similar? And in the same city where he’s touring?

“Why are you telling me this now? You could’ve mentioned it earlier if you aren’t actually Branden. This isn’t making sense.”

His knees pull up to his chest, and for the first time really, he makes eye contact with her. “I didn’t want you to go. It sounds pathetic, but I knew if I told you I wasn’t Branden, you’d just go away. Even if you didn’t believe me.”

“So you just let me think I was right?”

“I never said that. But it’s been nice, having someone to spend the day with.”

Kacie feels the same—regardless, it’s been nice talking to him and sharing this meal together.

“If you’re not Branden, as you say, then are you going to the concert?”

There’s tension between them the moment the words leave her mouth.

“Absolutely not.”

“Then how can I prove you aren’t Batman?” she asks.

“What?”

“Batman. You know, in the same room together. If you’re next to me and Branden’s on the stage, I have no room for doubt, right?”

She means it as a joke, though the idea of him going to the concert with her sends flurries through her chest.

But to him, it’s the wrong choice of words.

He gets to his feet. “If that’s what it takes, I’m not interested.”

She’s trying to think of a way to apologize, take it all back so he won’t go, when a woman nearby comes right up to them.

“Oh my god. Are you Branden Griffin?” she asks loudly. 

His hood is still down—people are starting to stare, gathering that he’s somebody famous, trying to get a look at his face. 

It turns deep red as he quickly yanks the hood up over himself again, shriveling back into it. He doesn’t even look at her again. He just flees, ignoring everyone.

Dina is throbbing with excitement hours later as they leave for the concert, but Kacie is still trying to process what’s happened today. She doesn’t want to even begin to explain it to Dina—they’re not close friends or anything. And besides, she can hardly get a word in. All Dina wants to do is blare Branden Griffin’s music, even though they’re on the way to see him live.

It seems like an age passes between them finding their seats, getting settled, and when he finally appears on the stage. Right away, Kacie leans forward, inspecting the jumbo screen to see this guy more closely. 

From the way he struts the stage with confidence and grins, she knows immediately he’s not the same person she met with today. Not even close. They may have the same hairstyle and color, and similar facial structures, but otherwise this man is nothing like him.

If she had approached the actual Branden, she knows he would’ve offered his signature and a picture. Clearly he’s enthusiastic about his career. On the stage, he bounces around all over the place and engages with the crowd eagerly.

Unfortunately, with her thoughts churching, she can’t enjoy the show the same way Dina does.

And when they leave, Kacie says she wants to go home—she’s not feeling well.

Dina goes a different direction, and Kacie heads down the sidewalk, then stops when she spots a familiar hoodie.

She doesn’t even know who he is. Not really. She knows he likes cloudy days and sandwiches with lots of toppings. But that’s not enough.

It almost surprises her that he’s staring directly at her as she walks up to him. Seeing his face now, it’s even more clear—he has a couple of moles on his cheek and his nose is slightly hooked.

“I didn’t know if I’d actually see you here,” he says.

“But you came anyway.”

He looks off to the side. “Yeah. I mean I felt like after what happened today, I should try to find you again somehow.”

“Oh.” Heat rushes to her face. “I, um, don’t think you look like Branden Griffin. Not really. After seeing him now, it just confirms it. I’ve never been that great at faces, but I can see yours now and it’s pretty obvious.”

“But you’re not the only one who makes that mistake.” His voice is soft. “I’m tired of it. And sorry to disappoint—I’m not as good looking. I’m what people might call the Walmart-version of Branden Griffin.”

“I don’t agree with that at all.”

They just look at each other for a moment. He clears his throat. “I never asked your name before.”

“It’s Kacie,” she tells him. “And unfortunately, I assumed I knew yours. But I don’t.”

“Ryan,” he says.

Like earlier, he starts walking, and she joins him.

“Does it really bother you this much when people mistake you for Branden Griffin?” she wonders.

“It usually doesn’t happen that often,” Ryan admits. “Not everyone knows him. I mean, he’s famous, sure, but he’s not exactly Justin Bieber or Harry Styles, you know? But since he’s in town, I’ve been pestered all day.” He looks at her. “Except the few moments we had together.”

“Well, that’s not completely true.” Kacie’s lips flatten into a straight line. “I approached you thinking you were him.”

“I thought I stole your bench?”

She laughs. “You did, but still.”

When she looks over, she sees him smiling at her.

The night illuminates.

“Now you know who I am, and you’re still here.”

“I’m still here,” she agrees.