Just A Cloud Away

I sat at my white, small desk, the tears rolling down my cheeks. My computer sat in front of me, the only thing I could see; and the only thing I didn’t want to see. It was dark in my room, the screen the only thing radiating light. It shone my lesson plan brightly in my face. There was no escaping it. No escaping the stress, the fear, the failure… none of it. I had five essays due by the next day, and more assignments on top of them. Another fresh tear dropped off my chin. I heard it land on the soft, khaki carpet floor.

I wiped my tears with the sleeve to my gray hoodie. On the sleeve, it had a stitched on reminder of not to speak. In my town, speaking had been banned. There wasn’t a way I could express my despair, or how I felt like I had been imprisoned by my own thoughts. The only thing I had were books. Books to comfort me, books to reassure me. My mother used to say that wind was able to do the same before speaking was banned, but I never believed her. It was dawn, the sun hardly peeking above the horizon. I looked over at the blazing orange sky through my window. It had a hint of pink to it, as the red sun inched through the sky. It seemed to hypnotize me, as clouds danced through the vibrant band of color that stretched around the world. The wind shook the leaves of the trees outside. One of them drifted to my window, pressing itself against it. It was bright green, and as it drifted away again, I felt a tug in my soul to follow, as if I was meant to.

I stood from my desk, closing my gray Chromebook computer. I walked out of my room, ignoring my dog who whined for attention.

I bent down, patting her black-furred head as a sign that I would play with her soon. I stood by the front door, slipping on my shoes, and walked outside onto the front porch. A zephyr ran through my hair, and I enjoyed the feeling of the wind pulling my hair. It tugged it in the direction of the rocking chairs, and I followed its lead.

The wind shoved my long hair in my face, and I brushed it behind my ear. I sighed, sitting down on the white wooden rocking chair. I gazed at the sky, another leaf brushing in front of my face. I closed my eyes. As I did, a strong breeze burst through the porch. It felt as if I was being swept away by it. When I opened my eyes again, I was on a cloud. I looked down, awed. The cloud was whiter than my computer screen, and very fluffy. I bent down and touched it. It felt like soft cotton that dissolved beneath my touch. I thought my carpet was soft, but compared to this, it felt like sandpaper. Looking back up, I saw that more clouds moved in front of mine in a straight line. I jumped to each one in turn. The clouds would shrink for a moment beneath my weight, then propel me slightly into the air, helping me gain enough momentum to jump to the next one. I smiled. This was definitely the best thing that I had ever experienced. The sky was periwinkle, the sun beaming down on me. I was warm and cozy, despite the cold temperatures of the reality. Looking down, I couldn’t even see the ground. Normally, I’d be scared of heights, but this time I felt reassured that I wouldn’t fall. A bird flew over my head. A blue jay flew next to me, singing its song. I smiled at it, waving. It flapped its wings and landed on my arm. It stared at me before flying away once more. A calm feeling swept over me. I had no worries, and felt confident in my abilities. I felt like I could do anything.

Then, all of a sudden, the sensation of calm and happiness was over.

The cloud disappeared from under me, and I was sent tumbling through the air. Another cloud appeared above me, but it was gray. It rained on me, soaking me until I was shivering from the cold. Screaming, I saw the ground come closer and closer. I flailed my arms and legs, as if they’d do anything. The sky turned red, and I heard laughter in my ear, as if taunting me. The grass was a vibrant green, and I saw my house. I assumed that I would land in my lawn. I didn’t want my family to find me outside, crippled and bloody. Terror froze my thoughts. I shut my eyes, preparing myself for the worst. I thought the wind would have protected me, but instead it whisked past me, skimming my ears, not even thinking about catching me. I braced myself, but the worst never happened.

I opened my eyes once more, and found that I was back on my porch, the sky now a bright blue, no longer pink or orange. The clouds drifted away, and the breeze disappeared. I panted, horrified from my vision. But I clung onto the forest part of it. How calm I had felt, and how I felt like I could do anything.

As the breeze faded, I sighed. It had brought so much comfort to me, and now it was gone. One last leaf fell off of the tree, which spiraled through the air. It drifted through the fading breeze, and landed just above my ear, in my hair. I took it as a sign to keep going, as my worries came back to me.

But this time, I didn’t feel worried. This time, I felt different. I believed in myself. I decided that I’d do it every morning. With a smile, I walked back inside to conquer my assignments.