The Lost Oasis

Diary entry 366 October 2019,

It's been a year and one day, she finally returned. I tried to be understanding of why she needed to go on that mission, but I was also angry. Going on the trip was last minute and random and could have destroyed our marriage, but I tried to be understanding. A year of feeling worried, lost, enraged, and distant from the world. Her leaving changed me, but I knew I had to talk to her eventually. She showed up at our doorstep last night, and I couldn't believe my eyes. She had a scratch on her left cheek, and a scratch on her arm. Her hair wasn't the same, her braids were no longer neat and healthy. Her lips were cracked and dry, she wasn't the same person that had left me. I immediately hugged her and helped her inside, I was able to put the way I felt aside to take the time to enjoy her presence. It's been a year, at first she was able to call but where she was going I expected her to lose contact with me eventually. She wanted to find the lost city of Oasis, it's been told that the city is magical and can bring spiritual enlightenment. I didn't believe a word she was saying...I called her crazy. But she was so passionate about it and she really believed and she was determined to find this city to prove that it exists. She asked me to go with her, I didn't but I should have. I was too caught up in the fact that what she was saying didn't make any sense, I was expecting her to come back and tell me that I was right. Now that she was back I needed to know what happened, so I worked up the courage to talk to her. I walked into the living room, and she was curled up on the couch drinking tea she had brought back with her. She didn't seem scared or like what she saw scared her, she seemed peaceful. My heart hung heavy at the thought of being near her again. I sit down next to her and take a deep breath.

"Andromeda, what happened out there?"

She doesn't say anything at first but then she puts her tea down and smiles.

"Exactly what I expected." She replies. "Exactly what I wanted."

I didn't understand, the Oasis is a myth and I feared that she would be around telling people that she found it and they would think she was crazy.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

She closes her eyes, like she was trying to relive the experience and so she told me everything.

"I was right all along, the city really does exist. When I got there, to the desert it was empty. There was nobody out there, I was all alone. Water was limited, and so was food I thought I would starve. I walked for miles and miles and there was absolutely nothing. Eventually I came upon water, I was so happy and relieved. I bathed and cut myself on a few rocks in the water, that's how I got the scars. Then I saw something I know was a sign, I saw a bird. The birds stopped at the mountain of sand, and stared at me, it waited for me. I got out the water and quickly gathered some of the water in my water bottle and ran up the mountain of sand, I slipped and slipped but I never gave up. Once I went to the top the bird flew again, I ran and ran as the bird kept flying. Eventually I needed to stop, I was drained, I needed water and I needed to sleep since it was getting dark. The bird was no longer here, and I had lost hope again. I tried to set up my tent and my sleeping back and I got some rest. The next morning the bird was back and I thought that maybe the bird needed sleep too. I pack up my stuff and I start moving again with the bird, until it stops. The bird stopped at this one spot and it was picking at something in the sand. I assumed it was hungry because it looked like a worm he had, but it was a rope. I walked towards the bird, and I took the rope and I started pulling and pulling and pulling until it was revealed...the lost Oasis. It was beautiful Noah, so beautiful. Everything I imagined. When I walked through, there were people. I didn't think that there would be people but there were a lot of people. People like me who believed that the city existed and people who made lives there. It was filled with love, faith, peace. They stayed hidden to stop the negative people from getting in, the people who wanted a prize for finding it. A lady approached me, and we talked. She taught me to forgive and to be honest not only with the people around me but with myself, she encouraged me to pray, and to meditate and to detach myself from worldly things. It took me 2 month to find that place and it took me the rest of the year to find peace in that place and the only thing that stopped me from staying...was you. I knew I had a life here and I couldn't leave you forever. "

I finally understood everything. She was looking for something and she found it. She needed to find it for herself to understand herself, and it wasn't my mission. My mission was to be there and wait for her to come back and still love her just as much as I loved her before she left. There is no reason to be upset or to be hurt, I should forgive and be accepting of how she wanted to find herself. It was fate and it was her destiny. And maybe no one will believe her, but at least she believes in herself.

"I understand." I say.