Angels in Disguise

Molly was my best friend for years and years, ever since 1st grade in Champion elementary school in Frosty Heights Colorado. We shared secrets no one else dared to hear or know. We were inseparable, we spent every waking hour together. So, When molly decided to pick up drinking and drugs it became increasingly hard for me to hang out and be around her. The temptation had overcome her and I did not know how to help.

In a few weeks there is a party across town with all the unmentionables (alcohol, drugs and paraphernalia) and molly and I were talking about going and the temptations before her especially. I was very much encouraging her to not go and to beat the temptation too but she just would not budge. Molly came up with every excuse in the book to go to this nasty frat party full of losers. I was so confused, hadn't molly stopped all this incessant drinking and partying?

There was something molly was NOT telling me and I went up to her to inquire about this whole situation and When she saw me I think she completely read my mind and began spewing excuses to me and trying to rationalize all these illogical mindsets to me as to why she should totally go to this party.

"But Sammy, Look... I would just be going to the party for maybe an hour, I would not drink, I would just go sit and listen to the good music on the radio and hang with my old friends." She continued to ramble on saying, "If I get tempted I will walk out and not drink" blah blah blah.

I looked at her and said

" Do you realize if you walk in there with all that temptation, you will be more likely to give in than not.

she nodded her head no aggressively and bit her lip.. again she went on trying to convince me that she wouldn't drink and its just a reunion and a hang out.

Sooner or later I told her I wasn't her mom and she can do what she likes but I am not getting involved, and I told her I would absolutely not go to the party with her.

Molly kept making excuses,

"If I go and drink we can leave, please can we just go together....I know I should not go but I just can not help and I have the Fear of Missing out on what's happening."

Anger boiled up inside me, the way Molly was begging to go to this party I began to realize that this was a set up more and more....she had that look in her eyes, she was just an alcoholic and there didn't seem to be any change in sight...she would use anyone to get her hand on a bottle these days.

Molly walked away because I ignored her, I ran after her and I confronted her about how she was making excuses to go get drunk and I could tell her tactics. I knew this because molly used these tactics so many times before and I worked in a clinic with recovering alcoholics let me tell you they are sneaky as heck when they want a bottle.

She looked at me full into the eyes and broke down and started crying. Molly went on to share with me her venerable feelings of the last few months. Molly lost her baby, she lost her house, she's living with her mom, her mom and dad divorced and her niece is in the hospital practically dying more and more each day, its touch and go and they do not know how to help her advanced condition.

I stood in silence for a minute, even for me all this information was hard to process. Molly's hurt was insurmountable. I was speechless, because what do you say to someone whos life was ripped away from them?

I thought back to a time when I was just like molly making every excuse in the book to drink my problems away. I felt sympathetic towards many of her problems, I too lost my baby early into my pregnancy, and I also had parents who divorced. For a minute my brain misfired. I am gonna take her to this party we both need it, maybe just a shot or two would take the edge off this stressful night. Thankfully the misfire stopped and I came to my senses.

I realized drinking is not the answer to molly's problem and enabling her or drinking with her would just prove to hinder her life.

I refused to take molly to the party. I firmly told her that this temptation is beatable and all these problems will never go away but it counts the way you handle them all, and using alcohol as a crutch will only cause bigger issues...I assured her I knew this all from experience and told her that's why I am here to help. Because I know how it feels.

Molly broke down crying and I ran to her side. I hugged her tightly letting her know she was loved, I rubbed her back and made her feel as comfortable as possible, I even rocked her back and forth like a baby for a while. She cried and cried and let it all out...screamed at one point.

After breaking down molly looked up at me and told me how thankful she was for me being there for her, she said with tears running down her face,

"Just you being here by my side through the hardest times in my life, proves to me that you are my best friend and you love me!"

I looked into her dark blue eyes and explained to Molly that, this is what friends are for. I realized Molly had no influences in the direction of sobriety and success so I gave her my contact information and told her,

"every time you want to pick up, CALL ME. Do not go drink...or you will lose me as your sponsor. Because effective immediately I am your sponsor. I will help you but you have to want to change. At first you will go to meetings with me, and then later you decide if it benefits you and if it does not I will still be your sponsor...BUT,,,the moment you call drunk is when I walk away until you sober up, then we go back to regular meetings until you are sober for good.

Molly looked overwhelmed but thankful. She came up to me and gave me a big bear hug and said

" Maybe there are such thing as angels, and you are one of them."