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Phillipa and Roy whizzed on their way to this weekend date event: apple orchard adventure. As if they starred in a reality programme, each Saturday and Sunday involved their car, credit cards, and a plethora of social media documentation. Once acclamation rushed in from their legion of nameless fans.

With the music floating out of their convertible coupe, two travel mugs full of soy lattes, and Phillipa's golden tresses protected from the wind's fingers in her Hermes scarf, how perfect this morning began.

Blossoms Vineyard signage raised the spirits in the vehicle meaning that soon they would arrive and make their entrance. 

"Roy, darling," Phillipa's purred, "I'm NOT so sure about the picking part. You know, the dirt, bugs. Could we not SIMPLY buy pre-picked?" She turned her face towards Roy's profile, a pout on her lips. 

"Phillipa, my lovely, we are doing every activity available. Just imagine the revenue from our pics. I only need one exquisite photo of you picking one perfect apple."

"As if I could take less than a divine photograph. You are a tease, Roy dear," Phillipa hit Roy's thigh with force.

"Ow, that hurt."

"What, weak man, that was a LOVE pat," Her azure eyes glared below heavy lids with a forced smile on her crimson lips. 

Phillipa and Roy cruised under the black iron filigree arch, around a corner, discovered a close parking spot, and then fixed hair and lips. Roy unfolded from the corvette, swaggering around the hood to open the door for Phillipa to swung out her long limbs encased in the sheerest hose to arise like a cobra.

Walking arm-in-arm up the steps to the broad veranda, into the open double ebony doors, Roy and Phillipa posed beneath the doorway. Ahead stood a granite countertop with high black stools prepared for wine tasting. Across the room, to the right, a door lay open to the trees. Throughout this room, artists and their works lay ready for exploration. 

"The apple orchard awaits. Let's go get us some apples."

"Roy, do you even eat apples, like RAW ones?"

"I'm sure, when I was a child, my dear old mother, God rest her soul, must have asked my nanny to serve me apples. Next time I see nanny, I'll have to ask her."

"Do you even know how to PICK an apple?"

"Yes, Phillipa, I do. I researched how before getting here. It's called PREPPING. You might like to try it."

"I am prepped. I look spectacular. I attract attention you fool."

As if on a cat-walk, Roy linked arms with Phillipa and they slithered across the hardwood floor, out the back door, onto the porch facing the bounty of apples. 

"Well, my love, which tree do you want to choose?"

Each bough lay heavy with apples in shades of red, in shapes of fruit. 

"Hmm, see that tree with the round ruby globes, that one."

Phillipa's mask grimaced as she noted the dirt walkway. "My shoes, the heels will sink into this muck."

"Phillipa, then walk on your toes like a ballerina. It'll make you walk super sexy."

Tippy-toeing over the ground, Roy and Phillipa made a slow train towards their quarry. 

"Good day, I'm Lina. I see you're interested in picking from this tree. It's an empire apple tree. You've made a great choice. This apple retains the sweetness of the Red Delicious with the tartness of the Mac with the result being a crisp, juicy taste experience. The ways to enjoy these apples are endless: bite into an apple, chop and add to salads, or cook for recipes such as our famous, delicious apple cider doughnuts. I recommend you give them a taste when you return inside."

Roy's eyes gleamed as they traced Lina from head to toe," Lina, you read my mind. That's the next stop after picking some apples for Phillipa to cook and me to eat at home." 

"Have you folks been to our orchard before?"

"No, this is our first, but not our last visit. Right, Phillipa dear?"

Her head nodded like a mannequin. 

"I'll model how to pick an apple. We do this demonstration before any of our public pick apples so that our trees are not damaged.'

Lina walked closer to one bough laden with apples. "It's really quite simple to pick an apple, I'll show you then you can show me. Give it a slight lift and twist. See, easy!"

Roy walked a step, standing close beside Lina. "Let me see, how about this apple, Lina?"

"Good choice."

"So you said, give it a little lift, then a gentle twist." Roy's palm encircled the apple.

"You're a natural. Ma'am."

Phillipa's eyebrows rose, her eyes bulged then she blinked. Tip-toeing to a different branch her talon shaped fingernails circled an apple, "So, lift, twist." She kept her palm flat, offering the apple to Lina in a way reminiscent of the step-mother in Snow White. 

"Well, you are all set. How many apples did you intend to pick? I'll get you a bag."

"Hmm, well Lina, what is the usual amount a couple would pick?"

"Sir, that depends on your appetite or if you intend to bake or share with others."

"A dozen sounds good to me. Right, Roy?"

"Okay. Just wait a moment and I'll return with your bag. When you're done, just bring it into the building and you can pay for your fruit."

Lina turned with grace on her flats and disappeared. 

"After this, Roy, we're tasting wine, lots and lots of wine."

"Whatever you wish, my beloved."

"Here you are." Lina carried a woven bag emblazoned with the Blossom Winery as well as a bowl of apple pieces. "This is an Empire apple for you to taste. This is the type of apple you chose to pick."

"How thoughtful." Phillipa picked up one piece balanced between her pointer and thumb. The crunch sounded delightful. "This tastes delicious."

Roy chose one piece, took a generous bite, chewing with gusto. "I think I ate these as a kid." Roy ate three more pieces when his lips turned red and started swelling. "My mouth is itchy. I'm having trouble breathing."

Lina's face lost its colour. "It sounds like you're having an allergic response. Do you carry an epi-pen?"

"A what?" Roy gasped. He bent at the waist, holding his stomach, groaning, sinking to the ground, leaning onto the truck. 

Phillipa did not see Lina leave her attention focused on Roy. "Oh my god, Roy. I'm scared."

His eyes rolled back into his head. Lina returned in a breathless state, carting a cylindrical object in her palm. Flipping off the cap, she bent down, jabbing this into his upper thigh, counting aloud to ten. "We've called an ambulance. This epi-pen will buy us 15-minutes and the ambulance will be here before then." Lina placed a blanket over his legs, slipping down to sit cross-legged beside him. 

Phillipa loomed overhead, teetering on her tip-toes, still bent on protecting her high heels.

When the paramedics rushed to Roy, administering epinephrine, strapping him onto the gurney, oxygen in his nose, Lina walked beside, holding his hand to the back of the ambulance. She stepped up, sitting beside Roy as the double doors slammed shut.

"Ma'am," a petite medic tapped Phillipa's arm. "We're taking him to Blossom Community Hospital. You can meet us there."

Phillipa stood staring as the ambulance screeched away, dust blowing in her face.