Two Doors Down

He looked between us once more and said, “It’s either her or me…”

I stumbled in my step, several children ran past or zipped by on their bikes until it was just the three of us standing there in the middle of the street at twilight. I had never thought I would hear that line, it seemed as something that only existed far away in stories and tv shows. But here I stood, hearing it come from the last person I ever would have thought. Maybe somewhere deep inside I really had known it was coming. It wasn’t exactly like I hadn’t gone through this routine before. Again and again I slowly came to expect it. People were all too predictable; and loyalty had become a virtue far too exotic in the modern day. But this? Coming from Alex? It just couldn’t.

Alex had always been there since his family first moved to our neighborhood shortly after Mabel and I’s first birthday. It had always been the three of us growing up together, going to school together, living life together. I had always been sure of our friendship… but now things were different—a line had been drawn.

I looked down at my hands. Held close to me, my right thumb rubbed aggressively at the opposite palm; I was trying to calm down. But nonetheless my heart was still beating faster. Faster. I began to panic. The dull ache deep in my chest pulled at me like hands grabbing at my soul. An all too familiar feeling—betrayal. I have to try to understand. I have to make things ok again. Our families were too close, what would this mean to the others? Our parents were best friends. This can’t end now. Not this way.

“I never wanted to put you in this position,” Alex said with a glimpse of regret. It quickly vanished, “But I just can’t do this anymore.”

As much as it hurt to hear, I couldn’t blame him for something I nearly wished I could give up on myself. My twin sister, Mabel, was… difficult. She had a pretty face, and always made a good first impression with a shy appearance and polite stay-out-of-the-way demeanor. New friends always loved her, until they got on her bad side for some reason. If she ever didn’t get her way, she would make that everyone’s personal problem. She was always careful about it though. Always she said things that seemed fine, such that people couldn’t get upset about it without causing a scene. She made the sort of passive aggressive statements that made one friend turn to another to see if they too had caught just how audacious that sentence truly was. People always ended up leaving because they couldn’t put up with the lying, the narcissism, and the manipulation any longer. But I did love my sister, and although the bullying was often aimed at me, she expected me to stay with her. And besides, if I didn’t stand up for her, who would? Everyone thinks that a bond between twins is stronger than other relationships. You look the same, grow up dressed the same, have all the same classes and activities, and have mostly all the same friends.

I had grown up making it my mission to make myself seen as an individual. But the constant twin jokes from everyone never helped. I had always been shown growing up that what Mabel did, I shouldn’t do rather than what I should do. As a result I had many flaws that I had trained myself to live with. One being that, unlike Mabel, I made a terrible first impression most of the time. I only talked to two or three friends whom I really trusted. The foremost of these friends being Alex. Alex had learned to always see me for who I was, and managed to look past my resting tired face and my sister's actions to see that we were, in fact, different people.

I had always loved Alex and being with him despite his constantly busy schedule keeping us apart. He had always been there for me even at my lowest points. When people left, Alex was always still there. So that is why I was sure that it wouldn’t come to this. Alex was the sort of person that could command the attention of an entire room with one statement, but didn’t usually find enough courage to do so. He was also the most genuine person I knew, and always stated what he believed without wavering. Reliable, creative, kind; he was a good friend. But he had given up on me at this moment—he was making me choose between my twin sister and my best friend. The two people who had always been a constant in my life. Alex was one of my only friends, and while he lived just two doors down the street Mabel lived just two doors down the hallway. While my sister might have treated me terribly, she was still my sister, and no one should have to make that choice. I had put everything into delaying this, trying to keep the peace. But here I stood, faced with a choice.

We had continued our walk down the street, Alex and Mabel had been arguing, and I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Alex, stop!” Mabel asserted.

It had taken a moment, but I finally convinced my throat to let me speak.“I-I can help! You really just need to talk, I think that if-”

“We’ve tried that already,” he cut in, “I’m not playing this game anymore. You need to choose.”

Mabel stood leaning away from us, her pride wounded. She looked up and down at Alex, her lips curled with a certain detestment for his stand against her, “I can’t believe you’re doing this,” she muttered towards him.

The approaching night aided my anxiety, turning the trees around us into dark figures pressing in. “I don’t know what you want from me, but you know that I can’t do that,” I said, trying to remain calm.

“You have to. I don’t want to cut ties with you, I really don’t. But I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired of being hurt again and again,” he said.

Mabel made some disgruntled noise and turned away, storming her way back to the house. I stopped to watch her go, but Alex kept walking. I stood there in the land between and was quickly left alone in the darkness. It was too far gone to fix this now, I only prayed that it would all be alright. I knew that it was time to make what might be one of the hardest decisions of my life up until that point. I took a deep breath and started to walk. One foot in front of the other, off I went into the night.