The box in Sam’s apartment

In a group of friends there is always one that never invites you to their house, well that's me, I’m that friend, but I promise I have a good excuse or maybe not at all. I´ve been best friends with Sam since we were 8 years old. I can still remember that little blond girl with two long gold braids riding her bike near to me, but now, both of us are teenagers, we are like any other normal teenager, not like the ones in the tv shows, neither like the ones in the books, we’re just little kids in the body of an adult trying to survive to the chaotic stage of high school, but well here we are. Sam and I are like the yin and yang, we are inseparable but opposites, she likes to use overalls with embroidered flowers, the same pair of red Converses, pink lipstick, and a high long ponytail, unlike her, I have short brunette hair, I love using the same pair of gray boots, black jeans and comfy t-shirts, I usually try to avoid wearing bright colors, because I don’t feel like they belong to me, I prefer to see them in other people and things. And wait, I almost forgot to present myself, my name is Alex and I’m going to tell you this story.

Have you ever felt that feeling of pressure, like if the time is running out, after all, life is like a hourglass that someday is going to stop, and that with every grain of sand that falls it will become heavier, I know, that sounds a little dramatic, but for me it makes sense, well I constantly feel that, because I know that someday soon I’m going to be a lonely adult in the real world, who will have to have a boring and monotonous job that pays the minimum wage and a mediocre family, and yes I know it sounds depressing but that’s how things work, in the other hand Sam sees life like rows of water flowing with the past of the time that try to guide her to her destination, it can easily be assumed from this that she has a dreamy soul, sometimes she even gets absorbed in her dreams and tends to lose track of reality, she calls it having her head on the moon, and her therapist disassociating, but well nobody is perfect in this life. Scholl has just finished for today, so I'm going to go with Sam to her house, well it's more like an apartment, but it doesn't matter because after all it's her home, which sometimes has even been one for me. 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve gone to Sam’s apartment after school every day, it started when we were in eight grade and my mom forgot to pick me up and she offered to take me to her apartment while they called to my mom, I remember being amazed for the number of stairs to can be able to get to the apartment and just with thinking that they have neighbors everywhere. Honestly at that moment I felt envious that Sam had so many people close by and that despite I live in a nice house, it had always felt so empty to me, mom and dad are always working and I don’t have any siblings so I prefer to be at Sam’s apartment, and if you are wondering, no, they don’t have any problem with me staying. My time to go back to home is at 8 pm, we take dinner before I go back to home, when I say we, I also refer to the other two friends that stays at Sam’s apartment, it may sound annoying the amount of teenager that stays there, but I swear we behave nice, well almost always. The other two friends are Mike and Amelia, they are twins, both of them have curly bright red hair, she has beautiful green eyes like a pair of emeralds, but Mike has mesmerizing blue eyes, looking at them is like observing the sky, except that through a fool. Amelia is reserved and quiet, but also intelligent and determined, unlike her brother that is obtrusive and sometimes funny, but we all have something in common, that we love to be here, maybe it's because of the delicious food that Sam's mom cooks or for the beautiful cat she has, or it's just because we feel safe and cared, like children again, that even just for one minute our problems disappear. 

Sam’s apartment has three bedrooms, one kitchen and the living room, Sam shares her bedroom with her older sister Nina, the second bedroom belongs to her two younger brothers, and the third bedroom is for her mom. Nina goes out a lot with her friends and boyfriend, so she’s fine with us hanging out in Nina’s and Sam’s room. The room is decorated with a wallpaper of green and pink flowers, in one corner is a white wooden desk that on top is full of books and pencils, on the front wall there are a lot of amazing paintings and drawings that were made by Sam, she dreams that one day she can become an artist. 

Right now, we are in Sam’s room doing homework, the last homework we have left is the humanities one, Amelia read us the homework instructions that are ”Describe in two sentences what you want to be when you grow up and what was your dream when you were a child”, when she finished reading I could see a clear expression of confusion on her face, which I found very unusual, because she always understands the homework, she is really smart and intuitive, so I asked her what happened:

- Amelia, it’s there something wrong?

Immediately she turned to look me with the same guilty look that kids have after they have done a mischief, and answered me in a sad tone:

- It’s just that I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, and when I was a child, I didn’t have my feet on the ground, and probably my childhood dreams may sound crazy.

Then Mike with a grin on his face said to her:

-Ame don’t worry, I don’t even remember my childhood dreams, and possibly I’m going to end up working in dad's company.

Honestly, that sounded pretty depressing, even more because Mike said it. To think that when we were kids we were all full of dreams and aspirations, and that with the past of the time the spark that kept us animated has been extinguished, but Sam is the exception to this, it have been different to her, even it seems like if her dreams where her reason to live, she has stay faithful to her childhood dream, since she were nine years old she has dreamed with being an artist and have her paintings in the most important museums in the world, to be honest I have always seen this as one of the crazy ideas of her, but with the past of the time I realized that she was serious about that, don't take me wrong, it's not that I don’t think she has enough talent, but the world is a ruthless place in which artists are unfairly discarded, when their professions are the most humble, since they give a little joy and color to this life, and she is excellent in that, she can give joy to anyone very easily, not just with her beautiful draws, also with cheering up people with jokes and silly stories.

And maybe you're wondering what I want to be when I grow up, and the answer is I really don’t care as long as I have a salary that can supports me, it may seem that I’m bitter, but I'm really tired that people always ask me what I want to be or that they tell me according to them what I'm good at, and I have never really known what to answer to that question, but it seems more and more confusing to me. And I really don’t want to talk about my childhood dreams, so in part I feel identified with Amelia.

Suddenly Sam knelt in front of her bed as if she was looking for something down her bed, until she got out of there a box made of wood, it looked a bit old but not that old, and it seemed a bit familiar to me, but I didn't remember exactly why, until Sam tells us why.

-So maybe none of you remember this box, but when we were ten years old we decided to put our dreams here, I know I know, oh Sam but that sounds absurd, but no, it isn’t, maybe it will refresh your memory or it may even be the key that you were missing.

We all looked impressed at Sam, so I told her:

-Sam, how the hell a box is going to tell us what to do with our future.

Then she got up from the floor and opened the mysterious box, saying:

-Amelia please take this CD’s, Mike this toy airplane and Alex this letter. And for me is the painting obviously.

-Mike, did you remember that you wanted to be a pilot and fly all over the world?

Mike with a slight nostalgic smile answered to her:

-Yes, you are right, but assuming that I wanted to fulfill that dream, wouldn't it be something crazy?

Amelia unexpectedly said to him:

-Maybe it isn’t at all, the fact that it sounds crazy doesn’t make it impossible.

I was really absorbed listening to his words, because Amelia has always been the wisest of the four, but I didn't consider her, not even for a bit, a dreamer. Then Sam with a big smile in her face said:

-Yes, yes, you are correct, and for that we are now to see your CD’s, please put it in my computer, let’s see what we have here.

When we put it to play, a little red-haired girl could be seen singing like a little angel the song "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" by Oasis. Of all the things that I could think about, I would never have imagined that Amelia wanted to be a singer. When I turned to see her, I could see a slight red color on her cheeks as if she had felt ashamed. Then abruptly Sam said:

-Now is the turn of Alex, please open the envelope, and read what it says aloud.

I started reading what was written on the letter, “Dear Alex of the future, you may be probably wondering what does it is, or maybe not, but in case you have forgot it, this is a reminded that being a silly teenager or a fool adult doesn’t mean that you need to cut off your dreams, on the contrary, it means that you have the power to decide whether to make them come true or just leave it in dreams, please always remember that we limit ourselves and that the key to everything is nowhere else but in our own mind. And now there is a little poem written by me, well, by you”:

Who am I?

For a minute I have lost sense,

And your words have made me blind,

The road I can’t see,

So, lost in an abysm I found myself now.

Who am I after you?,

Or most important,

Who was I before you?

One scream I wanted to give,

But my soul refuse to let it go,

At trying to talk only tears I can let out,

And drowned in my thoughts I need to hold on.

Sign Alex, a future poet.

At the moment I finished reading I could feel a tear on my right cheek, and honestly, I will never know if it was due to nostalgia, sadness, or happiness, but all I know is that we finally found again that spark that we were missing. With a smile on her face Sam turned to see the three of us and said in a calm tone: 

-I think that now, all of you have an answer.