An Ending / A Beginning

“You’re late. I almost went to sleep.”

“Don’t lie. I know you’re watching some tearjerker on Hallmark Channel.”

“What does that word even mean anyway? Tearjerker? Sounds like a tiny person who climbs onto your face when you’re crying and rips the tears off your cheeks.”

“And puts them in a thimble and carries them off to their secret tribe that lives under the floorboards of your big, creepy, old house.”

“You’re so weird.”

“Me? You’re the one imagining aliens stealing tears from your face.”

“I never said aliens. I said a tiny person.”

“Details, details.”

“Details are important, Vi. Speaking of which, how are you gonna—"

“Nope, nope, nope. You don’t get to ask.”

“Why not? I’m your best friend.”

“You’re my only friend.”

“That’s not true. What about that girl Missy you told me about? The cheerleader that lives across the street.”

“Prissy Missy? Last time I saw her was, like, two months ago and the only reason she came over was because her mom made her. You should’ve seen her face when she came into my room. Like she’d just seen the most hideous thing ever. I told her to take her pom-poms and get out.”

“You just made me spit out my Raisinets.”

“Eww, Kat, Raisinets? Hundreds of candies to choose from in the world and you pick chocolate covered raisins.”

“Here’s the funny part. It’s not even the chocolate I’m craving. It’s the raisins. I’ve never liked raisins! But, you know, my body’s changing.”

“Mine, too. I’m looking more like Dobby every day.”

“Oh em gee, shut up. You’re beautiful.”

“Yeah, I rock a bald head like no one’s business.”

“Is this really how our last conversation is gonna go?”

“Wow, way to kill the vibe, Kitty Kat. Hey, there ya go, switch from Raisinets to Kit Kats. Much better choice.”

“Vi, I’m serious. I wanna say some things to you before . . . you know. Can we switch to Facetime? I wanna see you.”

“No. I don’t want you to see what the monster has done to me. I want you to remember me the way I was last year. Before I moved twelve hours away to this damn city for the damn treatments that ended up being damn pointless.”

“Please?”

“Ugh, ok, fine, don’t start whining. Then I’ll have to start making jokes about getting you some cheese to go with that whine.”

“Thank you. For the Facetime, I mean. Not for making cheesy jokes.”

“Voila!  Here I am in all my pale, skinny glory.”

“Are you wearing your brother’s Metallica t-shirt?”

“Yeah, I stole it from Kevin before he left with mom and dad. They’re doing the whole Oregon/Washington college tour thing.”

“Wait, you’re alone?”

“Of course not, are you kidding? The parental figures left me with Helga the sadistic housesitter.”

“She is not.”

“Ok, she’s not. Her name’s actually Sarah and she’s a retired nurse they hired to stay with me for the week. She’s pretty cool. Makes a mean chicken and broccoli casserole. Too bad I could only eat a few bites before I threw it up. I feel bad for her.  She’s gonna have a rotten morning tomorrow.”

“Oh, Vi, don’t you think you should wait till your family comes back? What if this Sarah walks in to your room tomorrow and has a heart attack after she sees, well, whatever she’s gonna see.”

“Then there’ll be two dead bodies in my room. Okay, okay, don’t make that face at me. Trust me, it’s better this way. Mom and dad and Kevin need this trip together. Kevin has a future. I don’t.”

“Speaking of futures, wanna see my belly?”

“Oh my God, yes, show me.  Aw, look at your bump! Figure out who the father is yet? Just kidding, just kidding! Mary Katherine, your daddy would be very disappointed in you if he saw the rude finger gesture you just gave me.”

“You deserve it, you butthead. And of course I know who the father is. But there’s no relationship. What happened between us was quick and stupid and now he’s gone and it’s fine.”

“Well, it’s not exactly fine. He left you with a present, one that’s gonna come screaming out of your body in what, six months?”

“Five.”

“You’re not gonna be able to hide it much longer. Think ol’ Pastor Bob and Betty will make you get an abortion?”

“No way. They don’t believe in that and neither do I. I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m going to have a baby before I graduate high school.”

“Just like I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m going to die before I graduate. Heck, before I’ve even made it to senior prom. Do you think you’ll go?”

“Ha! Yeah, sure, I’ll just ask mom to make me an extra large gown, lots of room in the middle. And I’ll wear a diaper in case my water breaks. Ha!”

“Sshhh, they’re gonna hear you.”

“Not in this big, creepy, old house, as you like to call it. They’re down the hall, door shut. Been asleep for hours.”

“I never understood why your parents bought such a huge house when they only had you.”

“Because their plan was to have as many children as God would allow, as my dad used to say. Then my mom would add in something about me being their only blessing and that it was okay because it was God’s will.”

“Honestly, Kat, I don’t know how you can stand having pastors as parents. I’m not even sure I believe in God.”

“Oh, Vi, please don’t say that. I need to know you’re going to heaven.”

“Suicides don’t go to heaven.”

“That’s not necessarily true. The Bible says—" 

“Nope, nope, nope. No Bibles lessons tonight, Kat. Just conversation. Simple, easy conversation. Maybe some laughs. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You’re making that face again. Come on, cheer up! I put something in the mail for you yesterday. Well, actually, Helga, I mean, Sarah went to Fed Ex for me.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll give you a hint. One word. Ready? Rainbow.”

“Oh my gosh, you sent me your wigs!”

“All ten of them! They’ll look better on you than they ever did on me.”

“I hope my parents let me keep them.”

“Just tell Bob and Betty that you need them for a disguise when you start showing so no one knows that their one and only precious daughter is mega preggo with some stranger’s baby.”

“You forget we live in a small town. Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”

“Wish I could be there for you. I’d pop anyone in the mouth who says anything bad about you.”

“Then stay, Vi. Stay. Keep up the fight. I don’t want you to go.”

“Can’t, Kitty Kat. I’m tired of fighting the monster. He’s come and gone for most of my life. Now he’s back, more determined than ever. I don't want any more treatments. I'm not an experiment. And I don’t want hospice. I want peace. So fuck the monster. I’m going out on my own terms.”

“I’m going to name her after you.”

“Who?”

“My baby girl.”

“How do you know it’s a girl? Did you get a test?”

“No, I just know in my heart that it’s a girl. And I’m gonna name her Violet Marie. After my best friend.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I didn’t wanna cry and now I’ve got this salty stuff squirting out of my eyes. Where are the little tearjerkers? I need one to come and take these off my face.”

“It’s okay. I’m crying, too. See?”

“That’s cuz you’re a baby.”

“A baby having a baby.”

“Good one. Who's got jokes now? Turning off Facetime cuz I only wanna hear your voice.”

“Okay. I love you, Vi.”

“I know.  I . . . I heart you, too. That’s why I’m giving you my best wigs. And maybe, just maybe, my diary is in that box, too. Better hide that from Bob and Betty. Hey, I've got a favor to ask."

"Anything. What is it?"

"Will you tell little Violet about me one day?”

“Of course. I’ll tell her how big Violet was one of the bravest people I’d ever met.”

“Goodbye, Kat. I’ll be watching over you. That is, if God lets me.”

“I thought you didn’t believe?”

“Yeah, well, my seventeen years on Earth have been pretty crappy, being in and out of hospitals and always in pain, so I’m thinking I deserve a bit of heaven.”

“I pray you find your peace, Violet. I really do. I’ll miss you. Goodbye, my forever friend.”

"Until we meet again?"

"Until we meet again."