Three Minutes

“George? Can you hear me?”

“What? Who’s that?”

“Hello, George. Don’t worry. You’re safe.”

“What do you mean? Where am I? Who is that?”

“My name is Sal.”

“I don’t know any Sal. Where am I? Why can’t I see anything?”

“It’ll all become clear shortly. What do you remember?”

“Remember? I… I don’t know. What’s going on?”

“Stay calm. You were driving… remember?”

“Driving…”

“Try to remember, George.”

“Yeah… Yeah, I was driving. What happened?”

“Why were you driving, George? Remember… where were you going?”

“I… I wasn’t going anywhere… I was… just getting away. I needed to get out of the house.”

“Why? Remember.”

“I remember. We had a fight. I was angry and needed to get out of the house. Just go somewhere. Anywhere. Just needed to get away.”

“What happened then, George?”

“I don’t know. I… I was driving fast. Too fast. I didn’t care. I wasn’t thinking. Couldn’t concentrate.”

“Think now, George. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I…”

“Think.”

“I lost control. Started spinning. And then… I don’t remember anymore.”

“You had an accident, George.”

“I don’t remember. It’s… What’s that sound?”

“It’s a siren, George. You’re in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.”

“What? Why? I feel fine. What’s happening? Why can’t I SEE ANYTHING?”

“Calm down, George. I can show you but you have to stay calm.”

“Show me? What do you mean?”

“Do you want to see?”

“Yes. I want to SEE.”

“Okay. There.”

“What the… What am I looking at? I don’t get it.”

“That’s you, George, in the ambulance.”

“How… Am I dead?”

“No, George. But you are dying.”

“Then where am I now?”

“A place ‘in between’. Out of time, out of space, out of your body.”

“And who are you, some kind of angel.”

“I’m a guide. Here to help you make a decision.”

“About what?”

“About whether you want to die and go onward, or go back.”

“I can choose? I didn’t know we got to choose.”

“Normally you don’t. But in some cases…”

“How long have I got?”

“Three minutes.”

“Oh God!”

“No, the name is Sal.”

“Yeah. I meant…”

“I know what you meant, I was joking. Two minutes fifty, and counting.”

“Let me think…”

…

“Two minutes, George.”

“Where’s Dee… my wife?”

“She’s on her way.”

“Is that me on the operating table?”

“Yes.”

“Jeesus!”

“The name’s still Sal.”

“Oh, you’re funny. I’ve got two minutes to make a crucial decision and you’re making jokes.”

“One minute fifty-five actually.”

“What the fuck happened to my legs?”

“It was a serious accident, George. You’re probably going to lose them.”

“Lose my legs? That means if I go back I’ll be in a wheelchair the rest of my life.”

“Most likely.”

“Jeesu… I mean… Fuck!”

“Your wife just arrived.”

“I wanna see her.”

“There she is.”

“Oh, poor Dee. I’m sorry. I really am. I left you, and now this. I was a rotten husband, Sal. I didn’t treat her well. I didn’t think about her, ever. I only thought about myself. I always have. I was so selfish, so cruel. Always blaming her for my unhappiness when it had nothing to do with her. I was just a selfish, screwed-up, good-for-nothing, miserable, son-of-a-bitch. I didn’t deserve her. But she loved me regardless. She loved me and I never appreciated it. And now this. And if I went back I’d be in a wheelchair and she’d have to care for me. She doesn’t deserve that. She’s better off without me. The world is better off without me. Let me die, Sal, I don’t want to cause her any more pain.”

“You’ve still got a minute-fifteen left.”

“Where’s the light?”

“What?”

“The tunnel of white light, you know. Isn’t it supposed to appear when people die? Aren’t all my dead relatives supposed to waiting for me full of unconditional love and all that stuff?”

“Yeah. But you’re not dead yet. One minute left.”

“Is it like they say – like you’re coming home – all your fears and worries and suffering gone forever? Is it that good?”

“Better.”

“Then why should I want to go back? There’s nothing but suffering waiting for me and I’ve had a belly-full of that.”

“Did you love her?”

“Dee? Yeah, in the beginning. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. She saved me. Taught me how to trust. How to love. God knows I never had any of that in my childhood – just a drunken, abusive father and a depressed suicidal mother. There was no one there for me except myself. So I learned to look after number one. And I got good at it. I didn’t care about anyone but myself and I didn’t care who I hurt along the way. I only thought about myself – selfish through and through, until I met Dee. I almost believed God had sent her to me, just to remind me that someone did care about me… could care about me… that HE cared about me. But I messed it up, started to take her for granted, fell into my old selfish ways. She loved me and I didn’t love her back enough… what’s that beeping sound?”

“That’s the ECG machine.”

“So I’m still alive.”

“Not for long George. Thirty seconds.”

“I can’t go back. I can’t cause Dee any more heartache. She deserves better. I’ll just be a bind – a miserable, self-centered bind.”

“Twenty seconds.”

“The light… I can feel it. Oh… so much love. I never knew.”

“Ten seconds.”

“Dee. I’m sorry. For everything. I didn’t mean what I said. I really do love you.”

“Five seconds George.”

“Dee, I wish you could hear me. I wish I could tell you I…”

…Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

“Time’s up George. You just died.”

“NO! No… I have to go back. Don’t you see – if I don’t go back then I’m just being selfish again, thinking about me. But I have to go back… for HER. She needs me. I can change. I see it now. SAL?”

“It’s too late, George, I’m sorry.”

“Sal… PLEASE. You HAVE to send me back. I love her. I have to go back. I have to…”

…Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

‘CLEAR’

SSZZZYUMP!

…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

‘CLEAR’

SSZZZYUMP!

…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee………eep, beep, beep, beep, beep…

***

“Hi, Sal.”

“Gabriel”

“How’s your boy?”

“He’ll be fine.”

“What was his life-lesson again?”

“To understand selflessness.”

“You think he got it?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Late in the game.”

“Not really, I could have given him more time but he needed the push. And it was all part of the plan.”

“His plan?”

“Of course. But he won’t know that until he gets back here, and that won’t be for a long time yet.”

“Okay. Good job. Got another one for you. Just came in. Suicide attempt. In a coma. Right up your street.”

“Lead the way, Gabriel, lead the way. ”