-I quit.
It was the first time Mrs. Campbell and Jess, her good friend since college met after a long time. They were sitting in a Vietnamese restaurant downtown, the steam from the pho rose over the tables nearby.
Jess laughed at first, as amused by a cute joke, but then made a concerned face as she realized her friend was being serious.
-I'm resigning tomorrow. I'm gonna be an online tutor.
-Like you did twelve years ago...So all these studies, licensure, and leadership certificates...All for nothing?
Mrs. Campbell nodded after each remark and hated how stupid she felt.
Jess now looked at her as if her friend:
-It must be the mushroom pie you said you ate last night. It messed up with your brain and now you are talking nonsense. Anna, who's in their right mind would voluntarily give up the school principal's position?
Under her gaze Anna felt a glimpse of insecurity and remembered all the torment of sleepless nights she's been experiencing since last month, pondering over her decision. Her notebook full of long lists of pros and cons, with spots from tears on some pages started trembling in her hands. Then she thought of her neighbor, Mr. Hernandez.
She and her husband, Michael, met him during their short visit to aunt Sarah, to Florida. Auntie was checking up on her new neighbor and his daughter as he wasn't feeling well. His daughter came all the way from France where she was living to take care of him. When auntie had to drive away to the city to solve her problems with a bank she had, the pair suggested they would visit the neighbor that day instead of her.
Mr Hernandez was laying in his bed, holding a picture in his hand. The wrinkles and bruises the disease left on his old face looked horrible. In a very low, weak voice he thanked his new visitors. But the most horrible was the expression of his eyes.
-I never lived my life.
He looked like a child who was now coming of age to realize he never had a mother like all the other kids did.
Mrs. Campbell and her husband heard he used to be a successful lawyer, who closed many cases. Had a wife, and children. His remark bewildered them.
They looked at the picture in his hands. It was a photo of a wide ocean, the sun rising just above the horizon.
The old man started talking as if he sensed the pair's silent question they didn't dare to voice. His parents came from Colombia and as the eldest child of immigrant parents he was faced with a lot of pressure. As many newcomers, the family was drenched in poverty, having only rice to eat every evening. The father of the family, the patriarch, demanded he studied something serious like medicine or law. When he saw his son's seaman uniform, he burned it and promised to disown him if he dared to think of something stupid like that again. His poor mother was also afraid of her strict husband, and her heart bled when she saw the fire in her son's eyes go out. Mr. Hernandez tried to forget his passion. Many years went by, he studied hard, won a scholarship, went to Harvard Law school. He built his career brick over brick. Money came, with money some recognition. His colleagues respected him and his friends set him as an example to follow for their kids. After his father's death, he was having thoughts of risking his thriving career and following his dream but never had enough courage. And he continued with his life. Got married, had kids, buried his wife.
After retiring he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He sold his huge home and moved to a tiny home in Florida's coastline after the expensive treatment hadn't done much.
Mr. Hernandez started coughing and Anna rushed to get him water. She felt bad that he was struggling to talk, but she knew he needed to let all this out.
In Florida's beaches he saw the blue depth of the water, felt salty wind on his cheeks. Everytime his daughter would steer his wheelchair to the oceanside his heart would squeeze with excitement at first, then with a deep sorrow after. He saw the ocean but missed it dearly, just like you see a person on the screen but can't hug them.
When he felt the death standing in his doorway, he chocked with disappointment. When she came closer to his bedside he felt a surge of regret up his throat. But when she came down on him to take his soul, his heart filled with hope that maybe he'd swim the oceans in the afterlife.
Mrs. Campbell wondered. Hadn't she been making the same mistake, pushing her guilt away? Missing her daughter Sophia's birthdays to group meetings and cozy Netflix evenings with Michael to school lacrosse competitions?
-You'll regret it-Jess still had a concerned look on her face.
Mrs. Campbell didn't say much. She knew she'd regret only one thing, and she was doing it all to avoid that. It wasn't a decision many would understand, and she was thankful to Michael for his support.
The next day she exchanged hugs and kind farewell words with her staff. Ms. Bunn's, the Chemistry teacher's shoulders trembled as she cried. And old Mrs. Gomez and the PE teacher, who was the only male among the staff, hurried to cut her an extra piece of cake to soothe her. Mrs. Campbell didn't allow herself to cry in front of them. She'd cry later.
The students rushed out the classrooms and Britney's song started to play. They greeted their principal cheerfully as she made her way downstairs. There were pictures hanging in the hallway. Here is the photo of the students in their field trip to Atlanta Aquarium. Here is their science team at the state competition. Then one by one, the photos of the staff. Mrs. Campbell's pictures soon will be replaced by a new principal and she felt a hint of jealousy.
The bell rang again, the music stopped, and it became quiet again. Time to go.
As Anna's eyes looked at the hallway for the last time, her heart squeezed, and she let out a sigh. A few tears dropped, leaving a wet trace on her cheek.
Anna whispered goodbye and thanked the school for all the amazing memories it gave her, first as young teacher, then as a strict but loving principal.
She walked out the exit, looked up at the sky. The sky was cloudy. The clouds made figures of a dove, and horses. Just above the trees' crowns there was a cluster with a silver lining, that looked like ocean waves. Anna smiled. Both her and Mr. Hernandez were free and ready for a new beginning.
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