Sweater

Fall came early and that meant Ellie was about to spend a few weeks preparing her garden for colder nights. Without Henry by her side, gardening felt more like a chore than a good time. But it had to be done and the next day she was up early. Every morning was the same: make a cup of tea, walk the dog, make breakfast. In that exact order with some minimal changes depending on the weather. Never in her almost eighty years of life did Ellie imagine her days being so dull. I guess it’s natural if you spend your entire life with a best friend by your side sharing every little adventure with you. 

Ellie met her late husband at the local market on a Sunday afternoon. She was ten and, for some reason, hated boys. “They’re dirty and smell awful!” she’d tell her mother. So, you can imagine how that meeting went. She was strolling through the aisles with her parents when she was suddenly hit with a cold and wet sensation. A slime, the size of a crayon, was sitting on her arm. She whimpered and frantically attempted to shake it off. That’s when a boy, a little taller and tanned than her, ran to her rescue. 

“It’s your slime, I know it is!” Ellie was screaming in fear.

“No such thing, why would I even have one?” answered the boy.

“Because you’re a boy and boys do nasty things like this! I bet you threw it at me too!”

The boy laughed, took the slime from her arm, and threw it in the grass. 

“Nasty or not, I saved your life. Now we have to get married,” he said beaming.

Ellie wiped her arm on the bottom of her dress and waved her little hand in front of his face. 

“Never ever ever!”

Somehow, never turned into forever and a little house in Northern England. It was the kind of love they show in old movies: respectful and tender kind. They had four children: three boys and one girl, and eight grandchildren. Every holiday the family would gather in their small house and make even more beautiful memories. They were inseparable until his very last days. Ellie went to every round of chemotherapy to keep her husband’s spirit up. She was everyone’s favorite at the hospital where Henry stayed for the last three months of his life. He was a big jokester and never missed a chance to pull somebody’s leg. They were singing songs and playing board games, and when he became too weak for all that, they would hold each other quietly. And those quiet moments were the hardest for Ellie. 

Ellie has always been a strong-willed woman and could do just about anything herself. She believed that all she needed was to put her mind to it and anything could be done. That with careful planning life can go just the way she dreamed of it. And their plan was to live and die by each other’s side. 

But people never actually know what life has in store. We like to believe that everything is relatively predictable, that, if not all, most things are under our control. That everything we do, and every outcome we get – all happen because of our choices. In theory, we are the makers of our destinies. But in reality, we’re as helpless to the adversaries of life as a child without a steady hand to lean on. Life seems to be happening no matter. No matter the will, no matter the determination, no matter the plan. No matter what. Ideally, of course, everyone has a plan. It may be slightly different from your neighbor’s, but the ultimate goal is to live a fulfilling life. And they truly had the last one. All she wished was that it would last a little longer. That there was something, anything, she could do to save her husband.

‘I reckon some work outside will do me good’ she thought putting a sweater on. It wasn’t just any sweater. She knitted it for Henry for their 30th wedding anniversary. It was old and had some noticeable holes in it, but nothing brought her so much comfort. He asked her to wear it on their 60th anniversary which happened to be today. Putting it on felt like one big hug, bringing bittersweet memories and happy tears to Ellie’s eyes. 

She opened the back door, cool air hitting her in the face. Looking at the sky, she noticed a few rain clouds and estimated that she had no longer than a few minutes. Weeding used to be Henry’s part of the gardening job, while Ellie prepped the ground. Today, of course, the whole garden belonged to her. She leaned to inspect one of the batches when something rustled in her pocket. 

“Pockets, of course, I made pockets in this sweater, where else would he put his glasses,” Ellie smiled. She reached inside and something rectangular was sitting at the bottom of it. A letter folded multiple times. She sat on the step of the stairs and unfolded it with shaking hands.

“To my wonderful Ellie.

If you’re reading this letter that means you remembered the sweater and are wearing it at this very moment. It kept me warm for two decades and it is, to this day, my most prized possession. My dear Ellie, you’re just like this sweater. You’ve kept me warm and loved me for all these years, shielding me from stormy weather and heavy rains. You’ve never failed to be there for me in the toughest of times, and those are the times I’ve loved you most. But I’m afraid I’ve failed you and left too soon, too rushed, with not enough time to say goodbye. Forgive me, my love. And celebrate today for I am always with you, right by your side. And the love we shared could never be replicated in the history of humankind. And isn’t it beautiful how life can change once two people say: 

‘I do’. ”