The speed date

‘’So, you’re an architect?’’

‘’Well, you’ve certainly found a way to romanticize it.’’

‘’Come on. We’ve only got five minutes.’’

‘’Exactly. No time to make stuff up.’’

‘’I’m only laughing because I was afraid this might happen. My mother always says I romanticize the ordinary.’’

‘’So now I’m ordinary?’’

‘’Oh God, no. I didn’t mean it like that.’’

‘’You’re easily provoked.’’

‘’I hope not. It’s just my mom. She has a way of—’’

‘’Are you a mama’s boy?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’You’ve mentioned her twice, and—as you said—we only have five minutes. I suppose she matters enough to mention her. Twice.’’

‘’I don’t—’’

‘’What?’’

‘’I’m just not sure how to respond to that observation. I suppose I am, and it is what it is, isn’t it?’’

‘’I don’t need all of that.’’

‘’You can’t be serious?’’

‘’I am.’’

‘’But women sometimes talk about how you can read a man by how he treats his mother.’’

‘’Is that so?’’

‘’I’ve read it. And I’ve heard it. The other night, I talked to my friend Nina, and she had this confusing date with a guy. I asked how come, and Nina said everything was fine, except he hated his mother. She felt attracted to him and instantly understood that her past was again fooling her. He was a bad guy. Quicksand. Very problematic.’’

‘’That’s anecdotic evidence at best.’’

‘’I suppose. But I can’t help but think it’s true, though.’’

‘’Go on.’’

‘’Nina understands she has problems that she needs to fix because she feels attracted to a guy who hates his mother. I don’t hate my mother. I love her. And I believe she knows me. If you think there’s something wrong with that, you should seek help. I don’t mean to offend you, but really, you should.’’

‘’You can’t be serious. Do you say this to girls often? Because that might explain why you’re here.’’

‘’Look, we have five minutes. Three now. I know I should talk about what you do and what I do and whether we’re compatible career-wise. Or with hobbies. I like birds. Do you like birds?’’

‘’Uninterested.’’

‘’In birds? Really? Most people think bird-watching is all about watching, but it isn’t. You need to hear them first. Understand their sound and where it’s coming from. If you’re lucky and rely upon your ears, you’ll discover the one you’ve been eager to find.’’

‘’I meant I was uninterested in our compatibility in general. Career or… Bird-wise.’’

‘’But you brought it up. You asked what I was doing, and I asked what you were doing. Then I attempted to make small talk, and you mocked me for liking my mother.’’

‘’Again, you’re easily provoked.’’

‘’Why is that bad?’’

‘’I never said it was.’’

‘’But you mentioned it. Twice. So, according to your logic, it matters.’’

‘’Yes, but I never said it was a bad thing.’’

‘’Then you could’ve been more neutral in your questioning.’’

‘’You wouldn't have been provoked.’’

‘’And it’s important to provoke?’’

‘’I suppose. I mentioned it three times.’’

‘’That uncovers why you’re here then.’’

‘’...’’

‘’So birds are very loyal. If one should stray, it’s likely the female. Some types lay their eggs in another’s nest, leaving the males to care for them alone. But most build a nest together. They’re usually monogamous and very affectionate.’’

‘’So females are not to be trusted? Is that what you’re saying?’’

‘’Well, you certainly have a talent for misshaping my sentences.’’

‘’I like to poke.’’

‘’Poking isn’t quirkier than provoking. You can’t build a life by poking stuff. Something will crack eventually. I’m just trying to pick up where we left off.’’

‘’Because you like birds.’’

‘’Indeed. But I might also like second-hand dollhouses. So continue. I won’t say you’re an architect again if it bothers you. Please, what draws you to dollhouses?’’

‘’I never said I was drawn to them, but alright. I didn’t have one as a kid. I wanted one, but my dad wouldn’t let me. I spotted a large dollhouse next to a dumpster two years ago. I took it home and fixed it. People loved it. Blah blah.’’

‘’What needed to be fixed?’’

‘’Everything. New flooring, wallpaper, and furniture. Then it just sat there. So, I searched the internet and spotted tiny stuffed mice on an online marketplace. I placed them inside the dollhouse as if they were a happy family. That easily fools people.’’

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’It makes adults feel safe. A happy, inanimate family is one you can shape in any way you want. The dollhouses are large and perfect. It gives the illusion of control. Of a family you could have had. Adults think the children like the idea, but it’s mostly themselves. They despise their children for needing nothing but a dollhouse to escape reality, and they understand and love them for it anyway. Because they understand the fairytale it brings.’’

‘’That’s such a good point. So, how many did you renovate thus far?’’

‘’A lot. It started there, and then I started searching. Thrift shops, flea markets, online…’’

‘’Fascinating!’’

‘’Yeah, sure. Any ‘’fascinating’’ hobbies you’d like to talk about? More birds, maybe?’’

‘’I’m not trying to pull your leg here. I do find it an intriguing job. It’s good to know where we’re at. I like birds, and you renovate dollhouses. I think it’s nice.’’

‘’We shouldn’t bother where we’re from or at. We should bother where we’re going.’’

‘’What if both things are true? What did you expect when you signed up for this?’’

‘’Unlike you, I supposed we’d start at the right now. Not two, five, or thirty years ago. It’s not relevant.’’

‘’Really?! How can you expect to start now and understand someone within five minutes if you’re not interested in their past?’’

‘’I can tell. I knew the minute I sat down we’re incompatible.’’

‘’So you think you can spot the extraordinary before understanding its unique sound and where it’s coming from.’’

‘’Always. And I know the sound of the ringer for the next round. This sounds a lot like it.’’

‘’Right. Leaving me with an unhatched conversation while you flutter off to visit the tables ahead.’’

“Birds get kicked out of the nest. If they’re strong enough, they’ll find their way back to it.’’

‘’I suppose they’ll come back if the nest is worth it. If not, they’ll just hate on anyone who does.’’

‘’So cliché.’’

‘’Maybe. But I’m not into creating perfect homes just to leave them.’’