Torment and Trial

~Based on a nightmare~

“This place.., gives me so many memories..” I say to myself, as I walk around the practice field. I go to the old tire, a sad smile found it's place on my face, “What happened to us.?” I ask, sitting down on the grass, it was cold, just like that night, trees and grass swaying in the breeze, the ground soft beneath me, I laid down. Starting to hum, looking at the skies for a moment before closing my eyes, trying to remember as much as I could from that night.

    …

“Come on, let’s take a walk.” He said, motioning to the field of solar panels. I whined, “But I’m so cold, I can’t go on a walk, I’m wearing short sleeves and it’s ten degrees out!” He smiled amused, “Oh, don’t be whiny, I’ll keep you warm., I promise.” He held out his hand, and I grabbed it, starting our little adventure. Before he yelled across the play ground, “Hey Ava! You coming with us?!” She yelled back, “SURE!” running to catch up with us. We went behind the field near the forest and creek, walking a narrow path, staying near the fence to guide us. Since it was so dark out the most you could see was silhouettes of stuff, the fence only illuminated from his phone. We walked for what seemed like forever, I was shivering quite hard by the time we took a break, we had made it to the practice field, and I could’ve been turning blue for all I knew. We found the old tire, overgrown with weeds around it, he sat on the tire and beckoned for me to sit beside him, instead, I sat on the ground. I looked at the sky and stared in awe at it, the stars were so pretty that night. Soon, he joined me on the ground, sitting beside me, we held hands, having a good time, not with the rest of the people at the football game, out somewhere else. Together. After a while he laid down, I stayed sat up for a moment longer, soon, he said something, “It’s cold, you’re going to catch something alone in just that, come here.” He opened his arm, wanting me to lay down as well. I did, and snuggled into him, I felt warm and safe for once in forever. It was a lovely feeling, one that I hadn’t felt before in my life. I ended up falling asleep there, it was silent, peaceful and welcoming. Now though., I wonder what had happened to that feeling. 

     …

“Memories get you too?” I heard from a distance, I sat up, and looked around. To no surprise, there he was, smiling the same sad smile that I had always adored. Holding his hand out, ready to help me up. 

“Yea, what brings you here?” I said bitterly, standing up on my own. I looked at him, up and down, he didn’t seem like a threat. 

I got the same head strong attitude from him, “What do you think smartace? I just asked you something that should’ve gave it away.” He was just as bitter as I was, we matched moods perfectly, looking at each other with stone cold faces, knowing we’d never be the same. “Now come here, you know I still love you, I’m giving you on last shot with me, you should be thankful.” 

“Always demanding stuff, I should’ve known.” I said, taking a step back and away from him. “Stay away from me, there’s no way I’d ever do that again, why don’t you just go with your girlfriend, Ava is it?” 

“Yea, It is. But you’re so much better, and I wouldn’t ever dream of leaving you again, now come here.” He said, softly, a harsh tone underlying, readying itself. 

“No, I said no, No means NO!” I yelled at him, further backing up. 

“I said. Come. Here. I’m done asking nicely.” He responded, taking a few steps towards me, “You’re still mine, always and forever. I don’t care what you think about it” 

I stumbled backwards and fell over. Knowing for sure that I was done for, “No! Not now! Why am I so clumsy!?” I thought.

“You always were a clumsy one weren’t you? Well, that’s good.” He said, grabbing my arm and picking me up off the ground, “Don’t fight back it’ll only make it worse for you.” Holding me tighter as I pulled away as hard I could. It was no use, he was much bigger than me. 

He wrapped his arms around me, in a tight holding hug, one of torture, not love like before. “This man’s a physcopath,” I thought to myself, “How did I ever love him? What happened!?” 

“Our love is god,” He whispered to me. Eyes shaking, he was in a craze. I continued fighting. He got annoyed, “Our love is god.” He said, much louder this time. I said nothing, continuing to fight, I would never give in, even if it meant my life, I didn’t care. He held tighter, and squeezed my neck, “Repeat it.” 

I couldn’t breathe, still fighting I didn’t say anything. His grip still only tightened, “OUR LOVE IS GOD.” He yelled into my ear, I heard a ringing and my vision was blurring with tears. I finally said something. 

“Say hi to god.” I whispered before I landed an elbow strike across his face, breaking his nose, he immediately let go and I took off running. I had no time to waste with seeing if I was okay. I needed to find the sheriff, and quickly. I ran, it was only open field, I was more than exposed, and alone. I knew I needed to get away as soon as possible. When he pulled it on me. 

I heard a shot and stopped blankly in my tracks. I turned around, seeing him hold the thing, right towards my face, my heart exploding out of my chest, I had no air, between being suffocated and running. I stood stiff as a board. “What should I do?” I cursed under my breath.

I always had nightmares about the day I’d die, I never thought it could come so close. Standing 10 feet in front of me. The one who “Loved” me, who I had trusted once in my life, had pulled the most dangerous trick out of his sleeve. I was stranded. 

“Why are you doing this!?” I yelled, I guess it really was time, I was ready. “No! What am I thinking? I have somebody else, someone who actually loves me. So why am I standing here ready to die?” 

I looked at him, and smiled “Sad you’re the last face I see, I would’ve chosen someone a bit more, I don’t know… sane? To be with me in my last moments that is.”

His voice quivered, holding the weapon steady, “You’re on thin ice. Don’t test me. Now come here, we can work things out..I promise.” 

The last thing pissed me off, “NO! Stop making empty promises you’re never going to keep, things that are impossible! I will never see you the same again! Admit it already!” 

He slowly walked towards me, few steps at a time, holding it towards my head, “You’re much bolder than I remember, we may have to fix that. I think it’s not quite getting to you what’s about to happen.” He smiled, long and wide, deranged, insane, inhuman. 

“Get away from me.” I said firmly. Then looking in his cold, dead eyes, something changed, suddenly somehow knowing it was time, I was no longer afraid.

“Do it.” I said, “Kill me.” 

It all had happened at once. I was shoved over and heard him yell, “FINE!” A shot echoed across the field, people at the school started making there way over, terrified, wondering what happened. I hit my head badly against the ground from the shove, with a wince I heaved a heavy breath, I knew I'd done something to my head, but still sat up almost immediately. In that moment I didn’t care if I could barely function, someone had just taken my place, and I couldn’t let them go. Not yet. Their life would be worth so much more than mine. 

I crawled over to where they lay. I took a good, close look at them, I had seen them before, I wasn’t sure where, but they were familiar. Someone I felt I knew my whole life, but I couldn’t place it. I didn’t know.

I studied them, puffy brown and curly hair that partially covered their eyes. A smile was soft on their face, Eyes still open, They were barely alive, the rising and falling of their breath shallow but still there. Their eyes were a kind, dark brown, and looking at me, seemingly just happy I was okay. I didn’t want to be okay, I wanted them to be okay.

We held eye contact for only a moment, before I spoke, “You’re going to be alright. I’ll make sure." I started tearing, "you’re alright, you can’t die.” I was loosing my composure quickly, “You’re not allowed to die, I know you, but I don’t, but I should! You can’t die!” I was getting louder.

The only thing they did was smile at me responding hoarsely, “I won’t.” Before they were taken away on a stretcher. First respondents had arrived. 

“You’re going to be okay. Please, be okay.” I whispered to quietly. "I need to know why I know you." Before I passed out, what I hadn't realized, was that I had a concussion on the back of my head and damage in my neck, as well as a broken rib from the amount of pressure I’d gone through fighting back. 

Days passed, I didn’t wake up, my friends thought I died, and my parents couldn’t have cared less. 

I held on, painfully, if they weren’t allowed to die, neither was I. Something told me there was importance to us, I didn’t know what, but I trusted that feeling.

...

“Why would someone like you ever risk their life for someone like me?” I asked them, while they were in recovery. They had stabilized shortly after I did, but weren't allowed out yet. Sadly, I never got an answer. I fainted from a panic attack over them, I hit the ground harshly, hitting my head yet again. Before I woke up.