Be Brave, Momma

Motherhood is not for the weak of heart. Or mind. Or stomach, for that matter. The amount of bodily fluids you’ll experience in the first months of parenting is shocking, overwhelming, and, frankly, gross. My husband and I quickly learned to take our son’s rectal temperature in the bathtub whenever possible due to the fount of projectile, liquid poop that would come out along with the thermometer.

Too much? Like I said, not for the weak of stomach.

It’s an act of bravery to put your child to sleep for the first time. Then for the first time in their own room. Then for the first time in a big kid bed. And each night in between can take its own level of courage. 

It’s scary to leave them on their own for that long chunk of time, knowing that you’ll be asleep, too. Will I wake up if he cries? What if she needs me but she doesn’t cry? How will I know?

Oh, you’ll know. Your body will be so alert and immediately attuned to this new person in your home. So much so that you won’t sleep properly for months. No, years. Not for years if I’m being honest.

But you’re brave. And you put them to bed because sleep is a life skill. And it’s your job to teach these life skills. 

You’ll be brave in the morning, even if you didn’t get much sleep, when your daughter decides she’s done doing her booty-scoot crawl and is ready to stand and cruise along the couch. You’ll nervously watch and hope she doesn’t fall, but you know she’ll fall, everyone does. But you stay brave and let her fall.

You’ll stay strong when your heart breaks because she cries when she falls. Of course she cries. And you could have stopped her from falling. You should have. But, should you have? How would she learn if you always stopped her from falling? 

You were brave. You let her fall. You comforted her. And within a minute she’s fine… and back to cruising. The excitement is just too much to resist. You smile. She’s brave, too.

Do these moments seem too small? Like they aren’t true acts of bravery?

What about when you send your son off to school for the first time? Sure, he’s been going to daycare, and he loves that and he’s always eager to tell you about his day and of course there were rocky drop offs where you probably cried in the car for longer than he cried in the classroom. But this is real school - kindergarten.

And now you’re entrusting him to a whole school system and all the good and bad that comes with that. And of course he’ll make friends, but kids seem to get meaner as they get older. Will he be bullied? Who will he tell if he is bullied? Will he stand up for himself? Should you stand up for him?

Be brave. Find what you can trust and know that you’ll question the rest.

Still not enough? Not true moments of bravery?

A wise person once said, “little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems.” Your bravery will continue to grow as you and your kids grow. It will be forced to grow, there’s no way around it.

With little kids, when you step back and look at the big picture, so many of their problems seem just like a hassle, an annoyance, a speed bump on what would have been a smooth day. Potty training, temper tantrums, messes and spills, cutting their own bangs.

But as they get bigger… attitude, friend drama, “the talk” and all that brings with it, choosing a college, trouble with a capital T in the form of drugs, drinking, or petty crimes. See how insignificant potty training looks now?

Find your brave face and translate that look into your mind and heart. It’s impossible to have all the answers. Things will happen and you’ll figure them out. With as much courage as you can muster.

And what about the days when you don’t feel needed? When they’re finding themselves and independence? Yep, still takes bravery.

It’s a time to look and try to remember… who was I before kids? What did I do with all my free time? Have courage to find yourself again, to do things for you, because they bring you joy. You’re no longer tied to your kids and their schedules. Be brave and be you, the you you want to be.

So be brave, momma. You are a superhero of the stroller. A heroine of the high chair. A mother, through and through.

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That’s all I have in me. It’s been a tough day. I need to accept this words as truth for myself today and bravely face my current situation. So, I’m creating. I’m “lorem ipsum”ing my way to the minimum word count. But I’m counting this as a win. I recently made a commitment to write a short story each week through these prompts, and I did. It just might have been a bit shorter this week.

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