Forward Falling

**Author's note** This story can be read alone, but it's a sequel of sorts to Falling Forward and it references Falling Down.

**Trigger warning** contains references to domestic violence and sexual assault

All he wanted to do was curl up in a cave of blankets and sleep forever, but being the selfless-to a fault-person that he was, he found himself saying yes to his sister’s lunch invitation. He almost immediately regretted his decision; however, when he walked through the door.

“You look like shit.” She said.

“Gee, thanks Evie. Hello, to you too. You know I almost didn’t come here?” He retorted.

“I’m sorry. I’m just worried about you.” She wrapped her arms around him and held him a little tighter than usual.  

He knew he was being cranky, and he wanted this to be a good lunch. Plus, the aroma of the meal had hit his nose the minute he walked in the door, and he was already salivating. His brain was finally paying attention to his grumbling stomach. “I’m fine. I’m just hungry and sleep deprived. A hearty bowl of chicken noodle and a nap will cure me.”

“Right, come sit.” She pulled out a wooden chair that was neatly tucked under a small round table in the kitchen. He obliged.   

She went to the stove and ladled soup into two bowls and brought them to the table. She also served fresh rolls with butter.  They were both quiet as they ate their first few bites. The soup warmed him as it slid down his throat and into his stomach. It comforted him.

“This is really good, thank you. I can’t remember the last time I had a home cooked meal.”

“Glad you like it. You know you really should take better care of yourself.”

“Pot,” he pointed toward her. “Kettle,” he pointed at himself.

She smiled. “Ok. You may have a point.”

He smiled back, but remained silent. Talking was requiring too much energy. They both continued eating consumed by their own thoughts. 

After a few minutes, she spoke. “I know you’ve had a long day, but I need your help.”

“Ok? Is everything ok?”

“Well, no. I mean, yes. I mean, I don’t know.” She said.

“You’re starting to freak me out.” He feared she was about to drop a bombshell on him. 

“Do you remember my friend, Jenny?”

Jenny? Your colleague, Jenny?” 

“Yeah.”

His stomach twisted. He was certain of one thing. She knew he had the answers, and although they hadn’t left the kitchen, she had just put him on the witness stand. Evie, ever the lawyer, started out slowly, she had to build rapport with the witness of course, but pretty soon she would turn up the heat. Unlike in a real courtroom, however, Caleb was legally obligated to stay silent. Evie would try to wrestle it out of him, but he must remain strong.      

“Yes, I remember her. Why?” Caleb’s face flushed.

“Well, we were at work yesterday and she just seemed off.”

“How so?”

“She looked really pale and almost passed out into her chair. I asked her if she was ok, and she said that she was just klutzy.” He had heard that before. She continued. “I put the back of my hand on her forehead and she didn’t feel warm.” 

“Playing doctor are you now?” Caleb attempted to lighten the mood because he knew where she was headed.  The train was coming off the rails quickly. 

“That’s all I did, but she was very agitated. I could have used you. She said she was upset because she got into a fight with her boyfriend the night before. Next thing you know the boyfriend shows up at work. She had shut her door, so I don’t know what happened except I could hear some yelling. Then, I heard the vase shatter. Now the vase…”

Caleb sighed. “Evie, take a breath. You’re getting worked up.” To be fair, he was getting worked up himself, but he tried to play cool.

She paused, took a bite of her soup, and swallowed. Then, she inhaled slowly and exhaled slowly as well. Better doc?”

He nodded.

“What I’m saying is the vase had flowers that he had had delivered that morning.”

“The vase that ended up broken?” Caleb asked.

“Yes!”

“What did she say?” 

“She said she accidentally knocked them over.” Evie responded. 

“But that’s not what you think?”

“No. I think he was so mad that he knocked it over himself, or threw it for all I know.”

“Damn,” was all Caleb could mutter. 

“Exactly!”

“What did he do?” Caleb asked. 

“He just stormed out of her office.”

“Did he pick up the glass?”

“No! I put Jenny in my office and with the help of Susie, our secretary, we cleaned it up. I covered court for Jenny, and she was gone when I got back. Since then, I haven’t been able to reach her; she won’t answer my texts or calls.”   

“It’s Saturday. Maybe she is busy?” He inquired.

“No, I know something’s wrong. Could you check up on her?”

“You want me to make a house call?” He raised his eyebrows. 

“Yes, yes, I do.”

“What am I supposed to do, just show up and say surprise?”

“I don’t know…what if…” She continued on.   

Caleb propped his elbows on the table and his face fell into his hands. He shut his eyes. He couldn’t focus on Evie any longer. She sounded more like the teacher from Peanuts now. The sight of Jenny’s black and blue body was permanently etched into his brain. 

“Caleb! What’s wrong?” Evie had moved closer to him and was rubbing his shoulder

“I’m ok, really.” He mumbled. 

“Are you sick?” She asked.

He shook his head, which was still cradled in his hands. He fell back into his thoughts.   

He wanted to tell her everything and nothing all at the same time. Telling Evie would alleviate some of his burden, but how much of that burden could he unload on her? Wouldn’t that be selfish? Jenny is Evie’s friend. There are some details that if Evie were to find out, would shatter her. Even with his tough guy attitude, it was breaking him. 

For instance, when he arrived at the ER with Jenny, he had asked if there was anybody she wanted him to call. She had declined. She said her parents were out of town. Caleb didn’t want her to be alone, but she was isolating herself, presumably out of a shame that she shouldn’t carry. 

Jenny had calmed some as Caleb had pushed her through the halls in a wheelchair, but with the additional people surrounding them, Caleb had sensed her fear was returning. He had reassured her that she was in good hands, and he had introduced her to everyone. She had climbed onto the bed okay, but she had panicked again when one of the nurses tried to place the heart monitor leads onto her chest. It was too chaotic, and she was already tachycardic, so Caleb asked everyone but one nurse to leave the room. After some coaxing, Jenny allowed only Caleb to hook her up to the monitor, which turned out to be a rather minor issue in comparison to the rest of the night. Caleb would never tell Evie that Jenny was hiding more than her bruises.  It hit Caleb like a brick wall when Jenny was hyperventilating as the nurses removed her pants. Caleb almost passed out himself when he realized that they were going to need a SANE nurse. At that moment, however, he had to focus on her shallow breathing. They had kept her on oxygen until they she could have imaging done. The results of the testing came back, and Caleb had been right. Jenny had punctured her lung. She also had a few cracked ribs. In order to re-inflate her lung, Caleb was forced to insert a chest tube into Jenny. Had it been his choice, he wouldn’t have been the one to perform the procedure, but he was the only doctor available. He wanted to be the good cop, but he had to play the bad one. Caleb would never tell Evie that Jenny’s cries as he inserted the tube will haunt him forever. The guilt could never be assuaged.   

 “Wait! I remember!” Evie’s high pitched revelation caused Caleb to sit up. 

“Jenny said she had to get a tetanus shot after work. Oh my God. Weren’t you working at the clinic that day?” She asked.

“I was.”

“Did you see Jenny?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.”  He sighed. 

“You don’t have to tell me whether she was your patient. You can just say that you bumped into her.”

“No, I can’t.” He reiterated. 

“I just want to know if she’s okay.” Evie said.

“I know.” He replied. He took a moment and then said, “You trust me, right?”

“With all my heart.”

“She’s in good hands.” He said. Then he looked at his watch. “I hate to cut this short, but I’ve got to get back to the hospital.” He stood up and kissed the top of Evie’s head. 

“Isn’t it your day off?”

“Yes, but someone needs me.”

“Ok, do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Give her a hug for me?”