Nothing to Fight For

I wonder how long it has been since there has been a kiss. I used to keep track of things like the first anniversary, and the fifth, but by the time the tenth rolled around, I knew I didn’t need to anymore. As I make my way out of this world so will all memories of a time before. There will be no stories about redemption or rebellion. This is not a story of hope, about the downtrodden joining together and rising against their all-powerful leaders. It took several generations of breaking and molding people to achieve a world without love. I look out at my glorious empire, knowing all that my predecessors have achieved, and I know we have been successful. People stopped fighting a long time ago, and most don’t remember anything to fight for. 

Love is the most dangerous emotion. Hate is strong and frightening. Both are extremely powerful, but there is one thing that makes love so much more dangerous. Hope. Love carries hope inside of it; hate carries the absence of hope. That hope will continue to drive people as long as it is inside of them, but the absence of hope will eventually defeat anyone. Hope is a fight. I am not looking for hate, but it was the path of least resistance in the beginning. In the world I have built, people mostly feel indifference or apathy, and none, feel more than appreciation.

I know that you, my protege, have never felt love and it is because of that lack of love that you have the power you do. I was very young when love became prohibited. The government agencies raided our towns and homes with a direct order from the Supreme Leader. A new law, a new order was to be enforced immediately. The people were out of control and that had to change. They had to be broken.

The first and most daunting step was to reprogram the adults. Those who’d had love shoved down their throats their whole lives. Couples were immediately separated and taken to reprogramming camps. I remember the night my parents were taken. We were all at home when the enforcement agents came inside. The officers were peaceful, it was my parents who started the chaos. They began screaming and beating against the officer's bodies. My father and mother were pulled apart and my siblings and I were separated, taken to relatives' houses, for the time being. 

The government had to start small, taking only the couples to the camps, but they kept a vigilant eye on the streets ensuring there were no courtships or secret meetings. Starting a new relationship was a guaranteed way to get arrested and taken to one of the reprogramming camps. Soon the cullings started. Those who fought against the regime, and those who couldn’t be retrained were punished, but it wasn’t the rebellious who were executed, it was their partners. Remember, information is powerful, and it’s up to you what information people have. 

I remember going to my first execution; it's not something you forget. My Granny had tried to stop me from going, but the enforcers made us watch. They wanted us to see. It was beautiful. The government wasn’t trying to make the people love them, they didn’t want love, they just wanted control. We were all gathered around and a woman stood in the gallows. Her face was covered, but she was sobbing underneath the hood. 

Though people felt sympathy for the woman, they felt more hate for the man who caused this. 

“This woman stands here before you,” said the guard. “A victim of her husband's selfishness. Although given warnings of what would happen if he continued to resist and disobey his government, he continued to commit treacherous actions. Now, she must pay the price for what he chose to do.” 

With that and a swift motion, it was over. A shock went through the crowd, but not me. That day I became part of it. Though I was too young to enlist I did what I could as a civilian and consider myself part of everything we have created. 

Executions like that continued, each time reminding the public that they should not have compassion for those dying, but hate and anger for the survivors. Even those on the outside were punished for trying to help their family. I remember a time my neighbor was taken to a retraining facility and his younger brother was caught trying to help him escape. The next day, with their heads covered, the man's brother and wife were executed. It was an exceptionally selfish thing that my neighbor had done. Everyone knew that. Because he wanted to escape, two people were dead. Thanks to executions like this the public began to feel differently about each other. “Love for all mankind” people always spouted. How quickly it went away when it didn't serve them. 

After a few years, once people were separated, broken, and full of hate, romantic love became less of a worry. Destroying familial love was the next step. I was finally removed from my Granny's house, and though she pleaded and hugged me, telling me that she would always love me, I went with the guards willingly. People like my Granny were left alone, monitored, but alone until they passed away. The minds of children are so easy to warp. 

The children were taken to our facilities and our personalities were observed. After a few weeks, I was reunited with who I was told were my brother and sister, although my sister's hair was curlier than it had been and my brother's nose was wider. It didn’t take long for us to start bickering and once we were fighting they separated us. I never saw them again. Once a bridge is broken it is essential that it not be repaired. I didn’t miss my brother and sister; we weren’t allowed to. I remember one day a girl named Molly was lying around sullen and mopey. 

“What’s the matter?” One of the caregivers asked. 

“I miss my sister,” Molly answered. Molly and her sister were only 10 months apart and had been very close. She always carried a doll that looked like her sister. 

“I’ll have to report that.” The caregiver said as she snatched the doll away from Molly. Later that day, Molly was told that her sister had been punished for Molly’s behavior.

“If you don’t want your sister to be hurt again you had better learn to not miss her. It’s best to not even think about her.” The caregivers instructed. 

During all the executions another issue was realized. Our population was dwindling and we needed to create a new generation. The way repopulation happened at the time was disgusting and intimate. It was obvious people couldn't mate like that any longer. More powerful than love that is built is the love that is born. It is more precious and a million times stronger than diamonds, and that is where my masterpiece begins. 

I was recruited as a young man, even younger than you were. I went for my audience with the Supreme Leader and told him my ideas. They had been struggling with this, as love always seemed to find its way through new life. I knew it would take time and lots of trial and error, but I would crack this. Before I enlisted they tried selecting random men and women to reproduce anonymously, but having been so deprived of affection and touch, false bonds were quickly created between the partners which we would then have to rectify. They then moved on to lab-grown samples. The mothers and fathers would never have to meet or interact. Never share a kiss or a touch. It’s been a long time since there had been any of that type of behavior. They would simply have what was needed extracted from the mother and the father and then the embryo was placed inside the mother. In the olden days, mothers would grow attached to what was growing inside of them. They would rub their bellies and sing it songs. It was considered natural. I knew that part of the issue was that it was their flesh and blood inside of them. 

The first change I made to our population procedure was to bring a third person into the process- someone otherwise unattached to the baby. She would be a surrogate. But nine months was too long and these women, desperate for something to hold onto would form attachments and loved the babies as if they were their own. They would cry and scream as we took the babies. Some pleaded to be surrogates again, and at that point, they were sterilized. 

I couldn’t let the surrogates bond with the fetuses, so we developed a method to move the babies in utero. Once the embryo was implanted in a woman, her entire reproductive system would be transferred into another woman. A few months later it would get transferred to another woman. Every few months until the baby was born. It was a very difficult procedure and took a toll on the women, physically and emotionally. It took many trial procedures to get it right and lower the mortality rate. I was in the operating room, in my lab coat taking notes, observing the doctors. The woman who had the embryo implanted in her lay sedated on one table, she was ‘Woman A’. The woman who would be gestating the baby for the next two and half months was lying unconscious on a bed next to her, she was ‘Woman B’. We had two surgical teams. Both women’s abdomens were cut open and their uteruses and tubes were separated from the rest of them. Woman B’s reproductive organs were taken for scientific research and as the team continued to work on extricating Woman A’s organs a cloth was placed over Woman B to protect her. 

 The surgeons cut deep into Woman A’s stomach. It was very bloody. They carefully detached everything from inside of her, but it was difficult. Her removal took longer than others had, and she began to groan. Once her uterus, tubes, ovaries, and fetus were removed, the doctors carefully and quickly put it inside of Woman B. The women were then stitched back up and woke up. I remember Woman A’s screams growing louder and louder as the pain medicine wore off. The nurses tried to help her and I remember hearing her mutter as she fell asleep. 

“I hope that baby dies.” 

When Woman B woke up she was sick and threw up for days and asked if we could transfer it out of her sooner. The process was so excruciating many of the surrogates despised the baby. That hadn’t been my intention, but I was pleased with the development. 

Of course, once the babies were born someone had to look after them. No one involved with the birth was allowed to be near the children and diligent records are kept so the parents never meet their children. How I wish I could be in their shoes, part of this new generation, but building this has been worth it. We chose the people with the least parental instincts that we could find to watch over the babies. They weren’t allowed to be held for more than two hours a day, including diaper changes and bathing. They were only to be held during feedings if it was absolutely necessary. The caregivers were rotated regularly so that the children couldn’t form bonds with them and whenever I saw a child growing too close to one of their caregivers the caregiver would be punished. While it may seem to make more sense to punish the child, punishing the caregiver punished both. When you are told that the reason you are being punished is because someone loves you too much a bitter seed is planted. The caregivers would return, a fearful sight to the young children, and treat them harshly. 

It only took a few rounds of the newest and improved breeding cycles to see that it would be successful. The new generations began to grow and the word “play” no longer became associated with children. Things became drab and quiet. Only the government created new things and people, not knowing what else to do, followed what they were told. The Supreme Leader declared me as his successor, as I have you. We continued to find new and innovative ways to enforce the prohibition. We have made a lasting change that will last for many generations, if not until the end of civilization. There is nothing that we cannot control. 

As my predecessor used to say, “If you can control love, you can control anything.”  

If I may say, as some final words, things under the new regime have flourished under my leadership. A dream was created and I have brought it to life, a dream that cannot be woken from, because no one knows anything else, and those who remember anything else regard it as a nightmare. As I write this, I look out my window and see my empire. The world that I have built and I am filled with pride. I want to revel in all our accomplishments. It makes me sick to say, but I love it. I realized this and knew what I must do.  That is why I have written this for you. That is why you found me here, my body cold and lifeless. In myself, I created what I swore to destroy, and destroy it… I will.