Missing a valuable object

"The last time I saw it was when I was in the motel with Jeff. I usually take it off when we are together. He says that it reminds him of Doug so much. He was his best man at our wedding." Sale said wistfully.

"Are you serious? You mean just like that you are still seeing Doug even though we talked about how wrong it is for you to cheat on your husband? Are you for real?" I said annoyed by her wistfullness.

"We only live once. I have begged Doug to take me back. I have cried. I have sent friends of friends to talk to him. I did not mean to fall in love with his best friend. It just happened." Sale said, not regretting any of it.

"I would be careful if I were you. You are not hurting just Doug. Others who are unrelated to you are going though a lot of pain as a result of your carelessness. You are being inconsiderate. You will not file for divorce. You will not stop sleeping with 'im'. You still want us as friends. Who are you? Selfish Betty?" I said regretting meeting her for lunch.

"I was hoping that you would be on my side. It is no fun to be the cheating spouse. Everywhere I go, I feel like everyone knows. I get a lot of dirty looks and evil eyes from many strangers. I might just be paranoid. I think that if what I am doing was wrong, everything would fall into place. He would not call me or expect me to see him. We had stopped. I think Doug must have said something to him because he started calling me and asking me to take him back. I knew how he must have felt. I know Doug when he is angry. He becomes another person. I know it is very selfish of us because Doug has been working on his anger issues for years. I feel like we set him up for failure or we are reversing all of his efforts. Poor Doug." Sale said.

"You do not sound like you want him back. I guess you know best what is good for you. We feel bad for him because he is our friend too." I said suddenly realizing that I had had enough of her and I no longer wanted to be a part of this confusion.

"Well, I know he is disappointed in me because we made a promise to each other that we will work on this marriage separately, until we can return to it together. Losing his ring is a sign that we will not be able to do that. He is going to notice it too because he is always alert and wondering if we are back together or not. Sometimes he asks me if I am ready. I just shake my head with sadness, I feel so sad for him. He is needy and he looks like he is alone. It must have crushed him to find out about his friend. I don't know what to say or think. I cannot say that he must have seen it coming because it happened accidentally. I did not think that I would have as much fun as I had. I am not going to undermine a meaningful experience even if it has broken my marriage." Sale said.

"Remember when he first proposed, how excited you were. How much you liked the ring. How could you lose something so valuable as that. That was more than just being careless. Maybe his friend took it. Maybe he wanted something to use against Doug in case he talked to him about you again." I said.

"Maybe,...I asked him and he said he did not see me take it off. He worried if I was followed because he has had some funny things happen to him at work. So he was very nervous. Not only that he felt that if he is going through so much just for dating me, then maybe we are meant for each other." Sale said.

"Are you the only one that he is dating?" I asked.

"There was a time when he had a girlfriend. He said that she had to leave town and they were going to try the long distance thing. I met him accidentally when he had just found out that she was not going to come and see him as promised. One thing led to another and here we are today with a lost ring." Sale said hardly caring about what she was saying.

"You know what, I think that your mind is made up. Why don't you set Doug free and stop taking advantage of his niceness. You know that he loves you. Do not take that for granted and use it to live this complicated life. He will one day reach his limit. I do not think that you will regret leaving Doug now that I think about it." I said.

"You are right. I think that my husbnd is competing with his friend or he might already have had fears of something like this happening not necessarily with his friend. He used to be insecure when we were dating. That is one of the problems that I felt I would or could overlook. I want to be trusted. I do not think that he trusted me or that he believed that I sincerely loved him." Sale said.

"I am so sorry to hear that. You never told me that. How is he at home?" I asked.

"He comes in and says his pleasantaries. He takes a bath. I serve him dinner. He usually eats dinner with me in the dinning room. He then watches TV. As soon as I am finish washing the dishes, he locks himself in the den. I will not see him until the following evening when he comes back from work. Once in a while he will say; "wanna fool around?" ..."You hasitated, sorry I will ask you again later..." and he never does. Maybe weeks or months later he will ask again. He usually laughs and then locks himself in the den. I don't even try to lie to him at this point. I also feel like a bad person. Like I am hurting someone's child, someone's son. I think he has decided that it is all up to me to decide when and how the marriage will end. His mother must have taught him some manners." Sale said not even feeling guilty.

"I think that your mind is made up. Do me a favor as a friend to both of you, please end this marriage before you kill Doug. Please file for divorce and let Doug move on. I thought that you were musing whether to stay with his friend or return to your marriage. It does not sound like you want to go back to your past. Maybe you needed to hear me or hear yourself say it for you to be clear that you need a divorce." I said.

"And when the Attorney asks me why I am leaving Doug I will tell him or her exactly what you are telling me now. I know I am just being silly. I know I have known Doug for a long time. I am not just leaving my spouse I am also leaving my friend. I think that I will have to talk to someone who can make this an easy experience for us. I have been very selfish and very unfair to Doug. I know what you mean." Sale said.

"Maybe I can get my friend back. How are we going to be with each other after this. you know how much I like Doug. What will my husband do. Pick Doug over Doug's friend. It is going to be a mess. We will figure it out." I said.

"I am not worried about that. I am worried about who Doug will date next. I hope it will not be someone that I know. I also have to figure out if he will fight me over the house. I don't care if he takes the cars. I just want to keep the house. I invested a lot on the house. I think I had to hear someone say back to me, what has been on my mind for a while now, that I must divorce Doug. Thank God we did not have any children!" Sale said.

"I for the first time do not feel guilty anymore. Your situation has weighed heavily on me for months now. I worried about you. I was not sure if you knew what you were doing. I did not know how to react when I met Doug at the supermarket. Did he tell you that I met him at Sprouts the other day?" I asked.

"No, I don't think he mentioned that to me. I would have remembered. You see how disconnected we are. ....." Sale said.

I then concluded that a lot is on her mind. I will be lucky to remain her friend if she has mental reservations. I think her face revealed a doubt about me that I had not seen before. Or maybe I was feeling guilty. Maybe I regretted telling her that I saw Doug at the market. Maybe I was tired of hearing about her cheating on Doug not just Doug, the idea of cheating with anybody was strange to me. At first tallking about it is excting and then a drudgery ensues, and then the trysts and stories become boring and predictable. I think I was beginning to have a "hollier than thou" attitude.