Grey

Alexa sighed as she got yet another text from her ex. He kept apologizing to her but she didn’t want to forgive him. She and her most recent boyfriend had just broken up and she really didn’t need this right now. Hesitantly, she read the text he wrote.

    I’m really sorry. I know I messed up and I really did change. I wanted to be better than I was. Please give me another chance to show you that. I haven’t touched a drop ever since you left. Can we at least talk about it?

She thoroughly thought about it. She's been there for him. He'd call her up late at night and she'd still listen and talk. And when they began to live together, she would work by his side if she needs to just so he succeeds. But all this came to an end the last time she prioritized him. 

She had an important call early the next day that would land her a start as a fantasy author but she stayed up with him to help him not get kicked out of college. She ended up missing the call. Despite all that, she had to pass it off as nothing and continue on with her day. She worked her shift that day, went to her classes, and stayed in the library to study. "You're Mr. Zachary Jensen's girlfriend, right? Ms. Arellano?" Zach's professor asked. "Mr. Claire, is there a problem?" Alexa asked. "Please tell your boyfriend to take my class seriously. He didn't call in sick or say anything. If he couldn’t come in, he should call ahead or send an email," he replied. "You mean to tell me that he wasn't in class?" 

"Do you not know where he is?" he wondered. "My mistake. I don't know where my head is today. He was sick. He couldn't get out of bed this morning; at least not without throwing up. I thought about taking him to the hospital but he told me that it was completely unnecessary," she covered for him.

By six, she walked to her car and got a call from Morgan, his best friend. "Could you pick your boyfriend up from the bar? He's too drunk that he couldn't stand up," he informed her. Already furious, she broke down into fits of anger in the car. As soon as she calmed down, she drove to the bar and picked him up. 

"Alexa, talk to me," he begged her as she slammed the door. "Let me be!" She responded. "It's not my fault you missed that interview," he stated. She swung the door open. "I stayed up all night for you. I didn't have to but I did it because I loved you. I missed that interview but then I find out that you didn't even go to your test today. You chose to skip out and drink with your friends. And you have the audacity to be mad at me?!" Alexa fumed. "Because you're mad at me for you missing your interview. If it really was that important, you should not have stayed up with me," Zach argued. "And you would've flunked college! You know what? Whatever! I am exhausted keeping everything together. I'm tired of working tirelessly, I'm tired of waiting for contracts, I'm tired of doing schoolwork, I'm tired of helping you without anything in return, and I'm tired of keeping this relationship together," she ranted. "What are you saying? Are you just going to give us up? Is that what you want?" He asked Alexa in tears. "If that's really what you want, then what more could I do?" Zach whispered and walked out the front door.

That was the last day they saw each other. She told him that he could just pick up his things from her apartment after he moved out. She didn’t force him to leave. He made that decision all on his own. After all, she was the one paying for it. He tried to apologize but she didn't want to hear it. “I’m probably going to regret this,” she muttered and replied. 

Meet me at NHS tomorrow at 4. I have so much to do and I’ll only have 30 minutes to talk. Tomorrow is the only time I have a window available. 

The next day, she anxiously waited in her car. Out came Zach, who looked different, from his car. He finally got a new car; not that she cared. She got out of hers and met him. “Alexa,” he greeted. “Zach,” she returned. “You look good,” Zach smiled. “And you got a new car,” she pointed out. 

She invited him to her car as they talked. “Could you really never forgive me?” he asked. Alexa looked at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? I didn’t give up on our relationship, you did,” she started, looking at Zach who couldn’t meet her eyes. “But I fought for us over and over. I gave up on our relationship once. Once, Zach! That's how much it took for you to walk out of the front door and never come back. I slept on the couch waiting for you to come back. I woke up without you. That's how much it took for you to give up? One fight? Just one time that I gave up on us?" she pointed out. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Sorry couldn't take back the hurt of being called a self-absorbed snob. What makes you think that it will take back this kind of hurt?" she spat. "You made your choice that night."

“I didn’t know,” he whispered. “Of course you didn’t. Because I waited for you to come back. Hours turned to days, days turned to weeks. And in a month that I waited for you to come back, that’s when I figured that you didn’t want it anymore. I wasn’t going to wait longer for you to come to your senses and just talk about it rationally,” she replied. “So why? Why after months, did you decide that you wanted to apologize?” she wondered. 

“I was stupid. I didn’t think you’d want me back. I tried to forget about you so you could move on without me getting in your way. For a moment, it seemed easy enough to do. But then I started to miss you. I knew that you wouldn’t forgive me so I decided to fix myself up. I caught up with my schoolworks and quit unnecessary leisure. I got a job and I’m now doing better,” he responded. “I’m not expecting you to get back together with me. I just missed you and I really don’t want to lose you. Everything was grey without you. Even if we’d just be friends, I’ll be okay with that.”

Friends. Does she want to be friends with him again? After all, they were friends before they dated. She did say that it was much more comfortable to talk to him when they were friends. 

“So, what do you say, Arellano, friends?” Zach asked, sticking his hand out towards her. She took a deep breath and took his hand. “Friends again,” she smiled and shook it. He looked at the time and saw that they’ve been over the time slot she gave. She noticed and chuckled. “Yeah, sorry about that. I just didn’t know how this conversation was gonna go. You already know about my precautions,” she spoke. “Why am I not even surprised?” he laughed. “You wanna get food?” she invited him. “Is that even a question?” he scoffed as she started her engine. 

As they enjoyed chicken tenders and soda, they began reminiscing over their time as friends, laughing. Little did they know, this idea of friendship was going to grow into something more once again.