Remembrance

Remembrance

=DRAFT=

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My dear family and friends, 

I have been tasked with asked to write an obituary and eulogy for Aunt Opaline.

(None of you want to tackle trying to figure out how to say something nice about her, and you pretend that you chose me because I have “a way with words”. 

Speaking of words, the word “eulogy” comes from the Greek “eulogia”. It means “praise”.

This is going to be difficult.)

I will share with you what I’ve written, and you feel free to let me know if there are any inaccuracies — or if there’s something I should add or remove.

(I made sure all the dates are correct. But if Aunt O were alive, she’d find something to nitpick or contradict.)

🖊 

Opaline Edna Grimm

(How she detested that last name! She wanted to get rid of it as soon as she could.)

was born to George and Edna Grimm 

(And what a difficult child she must have been…)

on April 1, 1935.

(Such a fitting day - and during the Great Depression, to boot!)

She passed away of natural causes on May 13, 2022 at the age of 87.

(There’s something about that, too — the only Friday-the-13th this year!)

She was the middle child of seven, all of whom preceded her in death.

(Seven is supposed to be a lucky number. She broke the chain.)

Opaline is survived by her husband James Jewell; their son Justin and wife Crystal; granddaughter Gemma; 

(They are the real Jewells!)

and numerous nephews and nieces.

🖊 

In her youth, Opaline met a fine young man named James Jewell.

(And relentlessly pursued him, because she thought his last name was perfect for her! She must have love-bombed him.)

They married on her eighteenth birthday.

(Uncle Jimmy! Who agrees to get married on April Fool’s Day? — He must have been twitterpated. She was a pretty girl...)

She was happy with her new name status husband for a while, but she wanted more.

(She always wanted more. She was never satisfied with what she had.)

She wanted a child.

(A sweet little baby would draw more attention to her.)

No child arrived. 

Jimmy suggested that she take a job to keep her from nagging him mind active. She was resistant at first, thinking she would be unfavorably viewed for working outside the home. 

This was the fifties, when running the household was the woman’s primary occupation.

(By then, Jimmy had learned that disarming her with flattery could change her perspective. He told her she had exceptional skills that would be perfect for keeping an office going.)

She took a job as a receptionist,

(She described her job as “office manager”. She had a penchant for exaggeration.)

where she developed a close bond with a group of co-workers.

(She bamboozled them into being her Flying Monkeys. She had a talent for exploiting gullible people.)

They admired her several abilities,

(Meaning she convinced them she was proficient in multiple subjects.)

 appreciated her many facets,

(She had at least two sides.)

and stood in awe of her superior intelligence.

(Well, she claimed to have an IQ “over 200” — who was going to contradict her?)

Eventually, she was promoted to office manager.

(Validating her earlier claim — but how could she publicize her promotion to a position she supposedly already held? How could she draw attention to her accomplishment without humiliating herself? Oh, easy! She just invented a new job title: Office Manager-in-Chief. )

Soon after the promotion, her long-hoped-for desire came true.

(At a most inopportune time for her.)

After almost twelve years of marriage, 

(Poor long-suffering Uncle Jimmy!)

at nearly forty years old, she was expecting a baby!

(She was upset! The timing couldn’t have been worse. Alarmed due to her age, she knew there was a higher risk of having a less than perfect child… AND having a child now was going to interfere with her elevated position at work!)

Opaline had a challenging pregnancy, feeling ill for much of the time,

(She couldn’t decide whether to bask in the commiseration she received or to be annoyed at missing so much time at work)

but she insisted on working right to the end.

(She didn’t want to relinquish the control she had worked to establish.)

Jimmy and Opaline welcomed their son Justin, their only child.

(Jimmy truly delighted in his son. Opaline gloried in being the center of attention. And, if she wasn’t — if the focus turned to the baby — she would remind everyone,

“I’m the one who did all the work; I gave

birth to the baby.”

After a lot of drama agonizing over her decision, 

(Meaning she was conflicted about which choice would bring her more admiration)

Opaline decided to give up her career to be a full-time mother.

(And she never let Jimmy or Justin forget the sacrifice she made for them.)

She was behind Justin every step of the way.

(Right behind him. Pushing him. He had to be the perfect child. She made him do so many activities, he never had free time, and she took credit when he excelled.)

She was Supermom!

(She was her own greatest fan!)

Aunt Opaline’s abilities weren’t limited to career and family. Who could forget her gifts? 

(They were extravagantly packaged, but mostly of little worth.)

She managed to find the most bizarre useless unexpected presents.

(She must have bought them at yard sales and second hand stores. Nowhere else would have had such pieces of junk.)

And we never knew when she might bestow on us something lavish and magnificent. Something we could never repay.

(But we knew why, didn’t we? It was always because she wanted something from us in return. Not a present, but devotion. Adulation.)

I’m sure we all have memories of unforgettable times with her.

(We won’t mention them.

“De mortuis nil nisi bonum” — that’s Latin for "Of the dead say nothing but good".)

She was one of a kind — Aunt Opaline.

(And that’s a good thing!)

(Oops, did I just publish that?)