Billy's Tale

Billy was very excited. Three weeks until Christmas and he had just bought the engagement ring for Candace. It was going to be his first Christmas in San Francisco. He had wrapped up his first year as a salesman in IBM's Data Processing Division (DPD) division with a huge order from Kaiser. He was giddy with pride.

Candace was the prime systems engineer on the PG&E account. She worked with him on configuring the two systems. She was very artistic and together they developed a great flip chart presentation. They had reviewed it with the Regional Vice President. He wrote a congratulatory letter to Candace and Billy and to both of their managers. Praise was high.

Billy had fallen in love with Candace and felt that she loved him too. He had tried to kiss her once while they were working. She gently, firmly informed him what a bad idea that was. 

He spent several thousand dollars on the engagement ring. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His mother wore a simple gold band on her marriage finger. She was a strong woman and had supported him in college. He went to Texas University on a full scholarship thanks to her encouragement. His dad was simply a non-participant.

The Blue Lion in Ghirardelli Square was where he planned to pop the question. He had invited Candace to dinner on Friday, a week before Christmas. She seemed happy to accept which made him quite happy.

The Gaff Rig was his favorite bar so he wandered in and grabbed a stool next to a couple of cute young women. After a couple of drinks, he started chatting up the girl next to him. They had a few drinks and Billy's lust rose. "Would you like to have a drink at my place? I live just a block away."

The girl looked at him and laughed. She knew what he wanted and made a quick decision. She bid her friend "goodbye" and walked out the door with Billy.

When they entered his apartment, she turned, virtually attacking Billy. Kissing him, pressing against him, rubbing him in all the right spots, and panting like an excited dog. Billy's fever and blood pressure went sky high and he quickly pulled her to his bedroom where they quickly tore off their clothes and jumped onto the bed. "God," thought Billy, "this is so great."

After about an hour of ferocious sex, up and down, in and out, Billy rolled off of her and looked up at the ceiling. She was lying quietly next to him and it was cool. Both of them lying on the bed naked and sated. Billy's head was slightly spinning.

As they lay there, she said, "Didn't you say you worked at IBM?"

"Yep, been there about a year and half. Closed my first really big deal earlier this week. Very cool."

"Great. Do you know somebody named Candace Workman?"

"What?" yelled Billy, turning a bright red and sitting up quickly. He looked down at his clothes on the floor and saw the ring case bulging in his pants pocket. He tried to quickly regain control and calm down. "Wait," he said, "Candance Coleman?"

"No, no, Workman, Candace Workman. I think she works at IBM. We both go to that beautiful Episcopal Church up on California. She seems very nice. Do you know her?"

"No, no," Billy mumbled. "No, no, no. I thought you meant Candace Coleman." There were tears forming in his eyes and his face was still bright red.

The girl, whose name, unbeknownst to Billy, was Janet sat up in the bed and leaned back against the headboard. "You know Billy, that was really good sex. I enjoyed it but I think there is something wrong here."

Billy squealed, "No, no, everything is fine. I just misunderstood you. No biggie."

Janet smiled and said, "uh huh, well, would you hand me my cell phone off the floor. I am just going to check in with Candace and see if she knows you."

"Oh god," croaked Billy. "Oh god, oh god."

"Billy, whatever is the matter? That was great sex, Didn't you like it?" Janet, was quietly chuckling. "Billy, didn't you tell that you are from Texas the land of upright men and beautiful women. Don't you think I am beautiful?" By now, Janet was laughing. "You know Billy, I think you just had me for a quickie, That's all I was in it for. I'll probably tell Candance about it on Sunday. Would you like to go some more or should I put on my clothes?"

Billy croaked again, harder.

"Would you like my telephone number? Maybe we could go on a date or something," Janet said with a really nice smile.

Billy started crying. "I should have known better." 

"Billy, Billy, Billy, my god. C'mon. It can't be that bad. It appears to me that you might know Candace. She is a beautiful, smart woman. Great style and taste. You do know that she is engaged to some VP at IBM? Yes?"

"No, no, no, that can't be!" Billy could hardly talk he was crying so hard.

"OK, Billy. Well, you are making me sorry we had sex. I should have known better too, but I like you Billy. I knew it would be good." Janet stood up and started putting on her clothes. "I won't tell Candace about this but I will tell her about meeting you and ask her if she knows you."

Billy was still crying but had slowed down a bit. "Please don't do that. I know Candace. She worked with me on my big success and...and...and I fell in love with her." He fell to his knees beside the bed.

"Billy. You fell in love with Candace but took me on for a quickie. You must not think much of me," said Janet "I see you are in real trouble, Billy."

It was worse for Billy. He felt like his life was over. Never in his life had he made such a stupid mistake, never had he been so callous. "But," he thought, "that must be who I am," and he started crying harder.

"Billy, stop. Stop crying. It's beginning to look like you are a creep Billy. You didn't even know that Candace is engaged? I thought you were a Longhorn Billy. Seems like you might be a shorthorn. I can see that you have a lot to learn."

"Tell you what, what is your phone number? I am going to call you and hang up so that you have my phone number. While I was sincere when I had sex with you, it was no promise or anything. But, I like you. I don't want to know what you have for Candace. I am going to Tahoe tomorrow for the rest of Christmas. Good time ski trip. I could say that you are awful, but this is San Francisco. You may just be an idiot. If you want to call me after the holidays, go ahead. I don't know whether I will answer or not. But, maybe."

Billy choked, sobbed and gave Janet his phone number. She called him and hung up as soon as it rang. "OK, thanks for the swell time Billy, and Merry Christmas." Janet walked out the door.

"Whoa, maybe I should go get drunk," he thought. He decided against that idea and just sat down in his comfy great chair in the living with all the lights out. Of course, he dwelled on what he had done, but also started thinking about Christmas. Candance was actually the only person at IBM who he was close with. The list of Billy friends didn't exist. It was clear that he wouldn't be taking Candance out at Christmas and Janet would be at Tahoe.

Just then his phone rang and he ignored it. It rang again and this time he looked at the phone. The caller ID said "Mom." Cripes. "Mom?"

"Hey, Billy, how are you doing? Everything good in Gomorrah?" she laughed. Billy choked.

"Billy! You ok? What's going on?"

"Oh nothing, Mom. I just had a difficult conversation with a new friend, a woman actually, and it did not go all that well. But, I'm OK," lied Billy.

"Oh good. Well, I'm glad to hear you are making friends." His mother stayed on the phone for awhile, which seemed interminable to Billy. She finally chatted herself out and Billy hung up in relief. But, he started thinking about all the things his mother had to say and thinking about why he didn't really have any friends.

That led to thinking about Candace and his poor, poor broken heart. He went to bed.

A lot of people at the office stopped and congratulated him on his great success, but he felt nothing. His manager had him in for a little praise and reward session informing him of a bonus that he would receive at the branch office meeting in early January. Billy thanked him and wondered what he thought about this guy, his manager. Did he like him, not like him, was he cool, not cool? Would he invite Billy to his family Christmas dinner? Likely not, certainly not.

Billy was really done with work for the rest of the year. He had processed the tons of work necessary to get the two systems on order. Lasted through a couple of arguments about scheduling, but then things were said and done. His boss made it clear that he really didn't have to show up every day but he wouldn't be charged with vacation days or time off. He was only slightly grateful for that as he didn't have anything to do at home.

Along about Wednesday, with Christmas a week away, Billy decided to hang. He stopped going to the office and just sort of moped around his apartment. Buying presents for his parents and his little sister occupied a couple days. A big Mexican dinner at Tres Sombreros was mildly fun and he had managed a short chat with good looking young woman at the bar.

"Should I get a Christmas tree?" he thought. Might as well, but I have nothing to decorate it with. He went to a hardware store, Soko's up on Post, and bought a small artificial tree with lights. He took it home and stared at it for awhile remembering all the trees that his family back in Texas had put up for years and years. He couldn't help but sob.

Still and all, Billy was a thinking man. He walked down to Chestnut Street to the small liquor and bought a nice bottle of single malt. The owner suggested BenRiach so he bought that and took it home.

Again, Billy was a thinking man and he had nothing to do with social networking. He had tried Facebook and hated it. He thought he might revisit it to have someone to talk with but that idea repulsed him.

"It's Christmas eve," he thought. He called his parents to wish everybody a Merry Christmas. His mom asked who he would be spending Christmas day with, was he seeing anybody on Christmas Eve and a couple of other embarrassing questions that Billy just mumbled brief answers to---mostly made up. He opened the bottle of BenRiach, poured a glass and plopped down in his big chair in the dark. After some heavy thought, he got up, picked up the Christmas tree and threw in the trash can outside his apartment. He couldn't stand the sight of it. A few pulls on the single malt and he went to bed.

Christmas Day came just it always does. Billy was all alone. He decided to go a church service at that Episcopal church, Grace Cathedral, that Janet had mentioned.

As he walked up the many steps to the church, Candance and her fiancé entered the church right in front of him. Billy gulped, but didn't cry out, turned around and went home. "I wonder if God is punishing me," he thought. When he got home, he poured himself another glass. One drink was all he could handle and he just sort of moped around the apartment. 

His phone range with no caller id. He answered and heard. "Billy, hey it's Janet. Merry Christmas. So, I can't stop thinking about you. Do you even remember me, you callous pig? I had a funny thought about you, you never know a good thing until it's gone. Let's get together."

"Yeah, I think so. You were the girl in the yellow dress and Allbird shoes. Yes?"

"Ha ha, Billy. Well yes that was me. I wasn't in that dress very long around you." She paused.

"Do you know how to ski?"

"Are you kidding. I'm from Texas. I would probably kill myself on pair of skis."

"Oh, c'mon Billy. Don't forget I have seen you. You are very trim."

"Our sex was great, but, well, I sort of fell for you. I haven't had sex since then. I just couldn't get you out of my mind. Come up to Tahoe and let me teach you how to ski. You will love it. Promise. The other people here are great, a lot of fun and I sure you would like them. Please say, 'yes,'"

"I have heard that skiing is really expensive."

"Yes, it is. But we can cut some corners. We can ski at Homewood which is about one third the cost of Squaw. It's a great place to learn how to ski and I bet you will love it. Please say, 'yes."

Billy was thunderstruck. He sucked in a deep breath and said, "yes."

Billy and Janet's relationship took off like a rocket ship. They dated, played together, and swore off sex. No sex! One night, after drinking quite a lot at a popular bar, Janet unzipped Billy's pants while he was driving. She pulled out his cock and started sucking it. Billy was surprised and ecstatic. He closed his eyes in pleasure and didn't see the light change to red. The delivery truck hit them on the right side at full speed. Janet died in the operating room.

Billy woke up after three days of coma. Suddenly, he shouted, "Janet, Janet!" A nurse rushed in and took his hand. "Easy Billy, please calm down. Do you know where you are?"

"No, no I don't, but it looks like I am in a hospital room. Why? Where is Janet? I want to see Janet!"

"Billy, you've got to calm down. I am going to have to give you a mild sedative, a shot and I need you to hold still."

"But, Janet, where is Janet?" Billy held still as the nurse slipped the needle into his arm. 

When he woke, there was a man and a woman standing on either side of his bed. "Good morning, Billy, I am doctor Larsen and this is my associate Doctor Anders. We are glad you are awake. You should know that your vital signs are all strong and you seem to be doing well. I am sure you don't remember but you had a car crash, Billy, a bad one.

Puzzled and dazed, Billy closed his eyes and tried to remember. He couldn't. He started tearing. "Oh my god, this is terrible. Where is Janet?"

"So, as mentioned, I am Doctor Anders, I am both a medical doctor and a psychiatrist."

"Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist, why do I need a psychiatrist. That looks like a broken leg."

"I have always found it best to get straight to the point Billy. Janet has passed."

Billy started the scream of the ages. Both doctors took hold of an arm and Doctor Larsen started rubbing his temple. Two nurses rushed in and tried to help. Billy was kicking wildly. He finally just slumped in the bed and one of the nurses administered another shot.

The doctors, Larsen and Anders, met in her office. John, Doctor Anders said, "I promised Janet I would give this to Billy. I am morally and personally obligated to do so, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. 

"What would you do with it? Throw it away, put it in a filing cabinet? Irene, if you don't do it, you will fill guilty the rest of your life. What will come of it? Billy is in a fragile state. The note bears love which is heart rendering. As a psychiatrist I constantly face telling patients difficult things. If you want, I will give to Billy."

"Would you John? Really? I would feel like I fulfilled my obligation."

"OK, Irene, I will do it. Give it to me. You will still have to deal with him after he reads it."

"Yes, and that troubles me greatly."

The next day, Doctor Anders dropped into Billy's room. Billy was sitting up and smiled when he saw the doctor. "Nice smile, Billy. Looks like you are feeling better. Yes?"

"A little bit, doctor. I still don't remember anything about the accident. The police tell me that a ran a red light. That's hard to believe as I am a very good and careful driver."

"Well, as you know Billy, I am a psychiatrist. I know a lot about tragedy and people's feelings. This kind of trauma may be the worst. Losing a loved one. You know that you have excellent insurance coverage and will probably want to seek counseling after your dismissal."

The doctor continued. "I have something that is going to make you feel bad; in time you take for what it is---a golden blessing of love. Janet wrote this note in the hospital and gave it to a doctor to give to you. I want you to keep in the forefront of your mind that someday you will cherish it." He handed the note to Billy.

Billy opened the note with great apprehension and read "I love you."