A Gift Like No Other

Prompt: Write about someone who receives a gift or message that changes their life forever.

A Gift Like No Other

I never thought an actual person would be considered a gift. But that is what God does. His gifts are seen and unseen. If I had to guess, more of His gifts come from real people and less from receiving physical objects. In my life one such person became my gift to me. The unique thing about this gift is it unfolded into a true love story where she became my heroine.  Her name was Karen. 

We were introduced to each other through mutual friends at my work. Should I dare to consider a blind date? Would this gifted opportunity come back and haunt me like the Trojan horse?  Neither of us were “spring chickens” as were both twenty-nine.  My previous relationships were superficial and so was my faith until I met her. I was a prodigal Catholic who early on became weary at the theology, the obsessed obligations of worship, and the lack of pragmatic biblical guidance.   In college I could not step foot into any Catholic church or any other Christian church. I felt there was a supernatural force field around my heart.  Karen had come off of two miserable marriages both that had involved verbal, mental and sexual abuse. She also had to suffer through two miscarriages. I wondered how her misery and my isolation would ever mesh.

Our mutual friends optimistically believed we would be a good match. I questioned why I would even be considered. Perhaps I was a conscientious worker who was aloof and in dire need for companionship? I also thought why Karen? She had already experienced hell from two other relationships.   I suspected that three times would be a charm?

Nevertheless, our dear friends organized a foursome bowling date.  Two things about her that evening made my heart melt away.  Once I saw her, I was astounded by her beauty. Her angelic face was adorned by blonde locks that covered her head. She had the deepest blue-green eyes I had ever seen. But it was the aura about her that captivated me more than her physical beauty.  After a rigorous session at bowling in which she handily defeated me, our mutual friends felt that Karen would be safe with me. They left us to our own devices. At a nearby coffee shop, we spent several hours sharing our stories. We smiled; we laughed; we cried; we shared the dreams for our lives.  That date was the moment my life changed forever. I felt empowered to ask her when I could see her again, but I held back.

The next day she asked me to go with her on Sunday to her Lutheran church. I hemmed and hawed. She added, “I’ll make you a delicious breakfast afterwards.” My hesitancy turned into a resounding “yes.”   How true it is the adage ‘a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!’ She remembered from our discussion that breakfast was one of my favorite meals.

I was surprised how parts of the Lutheran service were similar to the Catholic Mass. And yes, the breakfast was the most sumptuous meal I had since I had been out on my own. That morning was the beginning of the rest of our lives together.   Throughout our courtship, each Sunday I would accompany Karen to church. Even as I sang the hymns horribly off key, she would never say anything to me.  I actually listened to the liturgy. She sensed a change working within me which I later understood as the Holy Spirit tapping into my frozen heart.

We dated for about a year before I proposed. We got married at her church, Immanuel Lutheran. Karen loved me so much she wanted to honor my parents by requesting that the Catholic church recognize our interdenominational marriage.  She and her mom were asked to have conversations with the Catholic priest at my parents’ church. I sensed it was not easy, but I know it was a labor of love. On February 16, 1985 Karen and I were joined in marriage by Pastor Petersen with recognition from the Catholic church by Father George Mulcahey. 

I really hit the jackpot with Karen. Not only was she incredible, but she came with a wonderful mom, nana, sister, brother-in-law, nieces and a nephew. More people gifts!

Our days were filled with work and various relocations. We struggled financially like any new couple. Karen remained steadfast in her bible studies. We joined a new church called Prince of Peace, which was closer to our new home in the far north Chicago suburbs and later on at Zion Lutheran. At Karen’s urging, I joined a new member’s class.   She sat with me during the sessions.  From my perspective, Karen knew the Bible inside and out. She never ever shamed me for failing to find, to know or understand a book, a verse, or a character in the Bible.

She said to me that I was much like Saul of Tarsus. No, I was not killing Christians or disrupting churches. Over the years, I had developed a distrust, an incredible dislike and even hatred for the mechanics and the community of the church. In a loving way Karen told me I had been blinded like Saul. In his vision he saw Christ. She said that the Holy Spirit had removed the veil enshrouding my heart once I started listening to the Gospel.  She knew the Truth and so would I. 

More importantly, since Karen compared me to Saul, now a follower of Christ as Paul, she led to me to his writings in Scripture. She directed to me to Ephesians 2: 8-10. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (NIV). When I read this, I sobbed. For so long I held a noose around my neck saying I was never good enough. I lamented that I could never be worthy of hope and salvation.  I came to realize that our faith was gifted by the Holy Spirit.

Our love for each other continued to grow in so many ways. God blessed us with two children; two more gifts of people into my life. Our first child was born with physical and mental difficulties. I felt shamefully humbled because I could only provide limited assistance since I was working full time and attending graduate school part time.   It was draining for her, but Karen powered through the struggles by staying focused on her faith.   As she would say to me in times of anxiety and doubt, “remember His Crown and ours to come.” When that simple phrase was said by either one of us it put ourselves outside of our problems. We would recall the ultimate price paid for our failures, our ignorance, our sinfulness.

For many years each summer, we would spend a couple of weeks with her mom and stepdad at their cottage on Lake Legend in Menominee Wisconsin. It was a fabulous respite for the four of us. There were the scenic forests and shoreline. We enjoyed swimming and paddle boating. Her stepdad would take us out on his pontoon boat for a leisurely cruise through the channels and coves of the lake. 

It was during the second week of our vacation in 2000 that we had to cut short our stay. Karen developed a serious cough and was not feeling well enough to continue. An x-ray revealed a dark spot on her right lung. Her primary care doctor believed it to be pneumonia. After a week of antibiotics, the spot had not gone away and her cough persisted.  Fearing the worst, her doctor directed her to see an oncologist. He readily diagnosed it as small cell lung cancer (a smoker’s cancer). The irony was Karen had never smoked a day in her life. 

The cancer was aggressive despite extensive bouts of chemotherapy. During her treatments she would become very nauseated while still whispering personal prayers and verses. Eventually, the treatments weakened her substantially causing her to be hospitalized. Sadly, the day for our daughter’s confirmation was coming close. Karen pleaded with our pastor for her to be confirmed at the hospital chapel.  We were all so proud of our daughter. Everyone was in awe of God’s Hand in this amazing day.  We persuaded her doctor to release Karen for a short home visit that same day to celebrate our daughter’s confirmation.  The day was bittersweet. It was filled with happy wishes for our daughter, but there were many tears. Church friends, neighbors and family came to extend their farewells to Karen. During the celebration, however, Karen repeatedly reminded all of us this day was about her daughter’s commitment to Jesus, not about her.

Karen had to return to the hospital, but it was only a few days later the oncologist had worse news. The cancer metastasized to her long bones, and into her brain. Karen insisted if she was going into hospice, it would be at our home. For three weeks after her arrival back home, she endured intense pain despite the palliative care from the morphine.

I was making dinner for the family when one of my sisters who was staying with us told me to go into the bedroom. Karen labored in her breathing. She seemed agitated. I kissed her forehead. I said to her, “I love you so much. We will be okay. It is time to go home and receive your crown from the King of Glory.” With that she closed her eyes and fell asleep. My gift from God had gone to her heavenly home.

My love, my best friend, my wife, my heroine in my Christian faith, who pointed me into the direction of the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ!

Author: Pete Gautchier

Acknowledgement: Reedsy.com