I Can't Imagine Anything More Boring Than This

I Can’t Imagine Anything More Boring Than This

I can’t imagine anything more boring than what I do for a living. I work on the night shift as a security guard for a very large company, that is housed in a monstrously huge building. Every night I have to watch the same blank scenes over and over again on the 20 screens of the CCTVs. There are no criminals, trying to sneak in through any of the doors, or through the underground parking or through a window. I almost wish that someone were trying to break into the place on my watch. It would disrupt the monotony if there were such a person. At least there would be a disturbance of the boredom, and I might be seen by the bosses as doing something important for the company. 

This is not the type of job that ever I wanted to have. This is certainly not what I thought that I would be doing when I received my university degree in computer science. I saw myself as engaged in programming, and nothing else. I would never find that boring, although my wife May would.

But there is a lot of competition in the computer field here in town, and I lost out whenever I applied for the kind of job that I wanted. And I don’t want to move to anywhere else, as May has a good job here involved with filming documentaries and such, and my sons as teenagers don’t want to lose any of the friends, especially potential girl friends now that they are in high school. So I got this job so that I would be earning my fair share for the family. 

           But still, I am so incredibly bored. It is all I can do to stay awake. I knock back a virtual ‘vat of coffee’ to keep my eyes open to look at the screens, if not particularly alert. I could walk to the washroom with my eyes closed. I actually have successfully done that twice already, as a form of cheap entertainment. The first time I walked into the wall. May says that I will do anything to entertain myself.

           Then there is the annoying daytime guy, Fred. When he takes over from me in the morning, he always laughs and then says, “Did you see anything interesting last night college boy?”. He knows full well that I did not and had not since I got the job a few weeks ago. And he got the daytime shift, which I applied for too. He really likes to rub it in that he has the better job with the lesser education.

           Fred gets to see people on the screen coming and going. And there are people in the room with him to whom he can talk. And I can imagine that he does not drink half of the coffee that I do, and he would never fall asleep on the job like I have done a few times already.

I Get An Idea

Finally, one night, I got an idea to clear away the boredom. I will bring my computer to work with me, and entertain myself with it by doing some programming, while periodically looking at the CCTVs so that I cannot be accused of not doing my job. It worked like the proverbial charm. I especially like the idea of creating pictures on my computer screen. I definitely need to see something that is not dark and dismal. Or if it is dark and dismal, I want it to be a something that my mind creates or recreates, some kind of monster perhaps. That would certainly provide a break from my boredom.

At first I just added upgrades to my computer, but that got tedious and boring pretty quickly. I started watching some old horror movies on-line, but I got too interested in them, and worried that if anything ever did show up on on the 20 CCTV screens, I would miss it altogether. So much for that idea. 

May Comes Up with an Idea

It was more fun to copy some of the scary images from the old movies and save them on my computer. I’m sure that the kids would get a kick out of seeing them. Shortly after I mentioned this to my wife May, she walked up close to me with what I see as the glow of a secret in her eyes. She whispered in my left ear something enchanting, somewhat dangerous and still funny at the same time. I replied with a kind of a ‘yes’ that let her know that I was completely supportive of her idea. It would be difficult, but that was part of its charm for me. 

Following the Plan

I came to work early one afternoon, when it was still light. Fred used that as an excuse to leave early as well. I knew that he would. It was part of my grand plan. I took a picture of one of the screens, the one nearest the roof, before I settled down to more serious work. I then created a link of that picture with my computer. Now I could use for my purpose some of the skills that I had honed at university, and had over the last week improved with a variety of experiments.

It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. But I do not give up easily when it comes to working with computers. And I had lots of time to get what I wanted. I would not go to sleep tonight, and I didn’t need anything near a vat of coffee to keep me awake.

It was done. Both May and I giggled when we saw the effects of what I had done.

The Fateful Day

           It was the fateful day, the first of the month. It was the day in which I had to stick around at the end of my shift, when I was supposed to write up my monthly report, and hand it in to the boss. It was a day I was greatly looking forward to for another reason. I was in the room next to the Fred. I would be able to hear him. 

           A short time after he arrived and assumed his station, I submitted the product of my project to the screen that monitored the highest floor. I soon heard his response. It was shouted to others in the room. I quickly withdrew what he saw from the screen. The others that were called to see what Fred saw, would see nothing. The boss, entered the room, to hear Fred say, “I swear, I saw Godzilla climbing up to the roof. I swear it.” The trick worked. Fred was later that day shifted to another job, one that did not involve screens, and paid less. And I got the day-shift. Thank you May. Thank you Godzilla.