It’s not every day that you meet a man who is going to change your life. A man who appeared to be completely normal, his clothes and hair bordering on ordinary. Someone you could converse with before you even realized something might be off, maybe just the tiniest bit.
It was the first Saturday in June when I met the man in question. My husband and I had decided we needed a night out, a night away from our 2 kids and everything in our life that surrounded that. It isn’t often that we got away or even had couple time, both of which required getting a babysitter.
We pulled up at the casino right after dinner, having fed the kids first. With our bellies full, we pulled into a spot in the lower garage, its floor littered with grease and old cigarette butts. There seemed to be too many cars for a Saturday night and very few spots still available, which was unusual.
As my husband and I were walking towards the door, I could smell smoke and hear the loud buzz of a crowd. People packed the floor, staring trance-like at almost every machine. I could hear the beeps and hums of electronic singing. I wanted to find a space, and I walked forward trying not to trip on the garish carpet, designed to do just that, keep me moving.
I finally found a machine and sat down, slipping a hundred-dollar bill into the slot. I watched it get sucked slowly into the opening. I hit the button enough times to get a bonus and watched the lights flash in a strange dance. I liked the fancy video machines that did more than just spin. The bonus paid me an extra fifty dollars, and the amount shined at the top of the machine. I knew it wouldn’t take me long to give it all back.
It was then that I heard the boom of names being called on the sound system, echoing throughout the building. They were calling names for a contest, not mine, not my husband’s. This explains why it is so full, why there were very few machines left with an empty seat for playing. Everyone was there for a chance to win.
I leaned over to the woman next to me and asked what you could win? “$250,000 or some slot play,” she explained. “All you have to do is have your name called, and you could have a shot at some life-changing money. A top dollar amount. Wouldn’t that be nice? Enough to pay off the house and the taxes with a little extra to spend or fix things up. Because something always needs fixing.”
I agreed, but it didn’t take long for most of my money to be gone in that shiny machine. I had a few spins left. There were only five names left, and then we could go home, call it a night. We never get picked or win anyway, and I was thinking we should head for the exit. Then the announcer called out the last names.
I didn’t recognize the first four names that were rattled off. The fifth name stopped my hand on the way to the slot button mid-air. The fifth name was my husband’s name. My husband got called for the drawing? The lowest prize was free slot play, so the evening had just gotten more exciting.
He found me, and we made our way to the drawing area. 20 people lined up to take their places in rows of chairs. The line snaked in front of a crate of envelopes, each participant taking one before they sat in a chair, my husband being the last. I watched as the crate emptied of envelopes; he took the remaining one, the white of the paper stark in his hand.
I was at the back of the bar and I was excited; my heart starting to pound against my ribs. I looked around but didn’t recognize anyone. There was a tall, older, maybe mid 60ish man with dark hair staring at me. He seemed to be alone. He moved forward and asked me if my husband was up there and I tell him he is a participant.
The man took my hand and says, “Do you want him to win?”
“Well, of course, of course I do, but what are the chances?”
The man smiled and said, “You have to believe, if you believe it will happen.” He was staring at me so intently that I took a step back, but I smiled and nodded. He has a strange look on his face, a face that says that he absolutely believed. I can play along; sure, I can believe.
Suddenly, there was a drumroll, and the contestants opened their envelopes. The man turned and looked at me and mouthed, “Believe.”
Several seconds of silence followed, and I looked down at my dress, my boots and felt thankful that we would have some slot play. The night had drug on much longer than I expected.
“Who has the envelope,” the MC boomed and my husband held up his hand. “OHMYGOD,” he breathed, and that’s when I saw the slip in his hand, the slip that said $250,000.
My eyes went wide, and I fell to the floor; I could feel every second passing, my breath in my ears. My husband came and grabbed me and pulled me through the crowd to the front, where there were pictures and congratulations. People stuffed money into my purse, someone wrote a check for the rest, and we got ready to leave.
Our night was finally over. We headed for the parking garage, and that was when I saw the man again, the man again. He was drifting over to me slowly, reaching out his hand. He was taller than I thought.
“See that,” he said, “you only had to believe. If you believe things will happen, they will,” and he winked, placing his hand on my shoulder.
He came closer, close enough that I could smell something sickly. He grabbed my hand and shook it. It was then that I noticed a strange red glow in his eyes, piercing into me as I walked away.
That was the day that I met a man who changed our lives. A man who appeared to be completely normal, his clothes and hair bordering on ordinary. I conversed with him, and it wasn’t until later, much later, that I noticed there was something very much, completely off.
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Ohhh, great ideas. Thank for so much for the feedback, I think you are absolutely right about expanding on the sensory of the mystery man. I felt like the story was lacking something and adding those details would help.
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This story pulls you in immediately with a great sense of mystery.
It starts off so normal—a couple's night out at a casino—that the unsettling moments with the strange man have a much bigger impact.
The main character, her voice is relatable, making the sudden shift from a mundane evening to a life-changing, and potentially sinister, event all the more effective.
The ending is perfect, leaving you with that chilling feeling that the big win came at an unknown cost or open for a sequel.
The story does a fantastic job of building suspense and unease, but you could enhance it by focusing even more on the sensory details of the man.
The "sickly smell" is great, but adding more specific descriptions of what that smell is—maybe something metallic, or like decaying flowers—would make the encounter even more memorable and unsettling.
It's good story overall! 👍👍
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