The Vague Vagina

Look up at the clouds. It's Chaos. It's supposed to be Chaos though. See chaos by Edward Lopez showed that clouds are unorganized. They're in Chaos. The natural order of planet Earth is Chaos. That's why there's cancer, AIDS, anemia, etc. If the order of nature was homeostasis, these things wouldn't occur. This is a story about how Chaos Theory saved me from totalitarianism. See, anarchists agree with Chaos Theory and use Chaos Theory to unorganize the Neo-Nazis, WTO, and other evil organizations. Think about the WTO protest in Seattle, Washington on November 30, 1999. There the world saw the beauty of Chaos and we got a lot of good press. Some thought it was bad press, but remember bad press is better than no press. Anything is better than no press.  

I look up at the clouds which are on the crux of white and gray. There may be a thunderstorm coming. Most people think rainbows are beautiful, but Chaos Theorists know the truth. Rainbows mean change, generally bad change. Once, Crimeinc was about to start a protest and it was raining, but stopped. Then, we saw the infamous rainbow. Bad rainbows. And then the riot police came and almost got us freedom fighters in the can. We've also infratrated organizations we dispise like the KKK and been able to use internal sabotage. But, we have to remember, anyone in Crimeinc could be a sabeteur too.  

It's drizzling. Perfect protest weather. See, in protesting, Crimeinc veterans wear gas masks, bullet-proof vests, carry molotov cocktails, and a lot of other heavy things and if it's hot, we're burning up inside our gear, but if it's cloudy and raining, it's cooler and easier to move. It doesn't impact the cocktails, either.  

Then, something happens that never happened before. It starts hailing. It is summer. We never been protesting in rain before, but maybe the motherfuckers won't march if it's hailing. I look up at the clouds. This proves Chaos again. They start out small, but begin to increase as the hail keeps falling. These motherfuckers and starting to march though, so we stay, all 50 of us. Then, the hail stops and the clouds disappear. Clouds sometimes do this. Clouds are water in the sky, but unorganized water. So, when the water's gone, the clouds disappear. There was a hypothesis you can tell how far lighting is away from you by counting the seconds between seeing the lightning and hearing the thunder which weather.gov has verified. The US government doesn't agree with Chaos Theory since their goal is to maintain order.  

I watch the Weather Channel at night to learn way to handle the innevitable Chaos that's bound to come. What to do when God gives us a haboob, a mud slide, hail, tornado, hurricaine, spontaneous combustion, wild fires, etc. Chaos is taking over. Climate change is happening. By the year 2052 the Earth will be an ocean of sweltering lava and all creatures will be extinct except bacteria, viruses, and cockroaches (those fuckers can survive anything). But, until that happens, we gotta stop the Neo-Nazis, the KKK, the skin-heads, etc. Create chaos before Chaos.  

Then, angolesiaoma starts happening, but we didn't know that word then. See, the clouds came down into fog and up like a NASA rocket then back down. Then, the clouds started forming a tornado in the sky whereas tornadoes usually are on the ground and the tornado started clockwise, but after fifteen minutes went counterclockwise and after seventeen minutes went clockwise again. The protesters started marching and we got out our megaphones. Then, the tornado stopped, formed another Chaotic cloud and orange rain fell at a 45 degree angle towards us and the shifted to a 33 degree angle away from us. I looked beside me and thankfully one of my fellow anarchists had his cell phone out and was recording all this 'cause no one would ever believe this shit, not even TWC who's seen it all. Then, the rain starts falling up. Going from the ground up and the protesters finally stop, get in a huddle, like at a football game, and decide to take the authorities' suggestion and go to an old bomb shelter.

Next, the clouds form a sort of one or two mile orifice. Then, the orifice starts expanding and a spheric object starts projecting from the orifice, but it's unclear what it is. This is like seeing an eclipse. All the experts say you shouldn't look at an eclipse, but you know you'll never see another one if you don't look now, so you look. Then, the round thing coming out of the expanding orifice gets bigger and there's a noise of screaming a crying and then, out of the round blob I see eyes which means something without a body is giving birth to something with a big body and the big body is coming out of the clouds. In humans, the head is the biggest part to come out of a woman's body, but I don't know if this thing is human.  

It (he or she?) plunges to the ground at an accelerated velocity of 25.3 meters per second squared and lands in 3.2 seconds and the Earth shakes. Then, the thing has an off cry. The off cry is deafening and unlike a human baby cry it is low pitch. The Earth vibrates. Everyone stares at the huge , androgenous creature except me. I'm the only one to look back at the sky, because I use to be a farm boy, which is why, after milking the cows in the morning, I would read about Chaos Theory, but I knew something no one else here seemed to remember which is humans are one of the few creatures in the galaxy to give birth to only one child and some humans even have twins or triplets. So, I look at the sky and the process starts again. The clouds are starting to head down, but I don't know if this is another child coming from the same orifice or a different orifice. Same species, same planet, I have no idea. What I do see is the process is starting over again and it doesn't look pretty. Then, I look at the side of the house and the thermometer is at 100 degrees farenheit. Then, the sun blinks. It's light and then it's dark, fifteen times, but then the clouds form everywhere and block the sun. Then, the clouds start producing light. The light producing clouds go down to the Earth and up to the sky, over and over. Shit.  This could be an alien invasion. It could be a message from God. It could be that planet Earth is really some other creature's womb, but I don't know none of us know. Another orifice cloud forms and everything stops. Nothing comes out. Then, everyone hears a noise like a vacuum cleaner when you have to put it in reverse. Then, the cows start flying and then us humans start flying. Then, all of us get sucked through the orifice into a dark, warm place. We look at each other and someone finally asks, Where are we?