The Husband's Text

CHAPTER ONE

             Meredith was startled awake in the middle of the night by something, but she wasn’t sure exactly what. Maybe it was just a feeling she had that something was wrong. She realized her husband wasn’t lying next to her in bed, but that wasn’t unusual. Many nights he got up when he couldn’t sleep, so as not to disturb her.

           This night, though, something was different. She stumbled out of bed, trying to focus her eyes as she walked through her mother’s house. He wasn’t there. Their daughter was sleeping peacefully on the sofa and the dog was curled up with her. But Dean wasn’t there.

           She looked out the living room window to the driveway, and their minivan was also gone. It had been packed with as many of their belongings as would fit, in preparation for their move across country, to her mother’s hometown.

           Trying not to panic, she began looking for her cell phone. Maybe he just went out to get coffee? There had to be a logical explanation.

           Holding her phone, she noticed there were no waiting texts, no missed calls. She started texting with shaky hands, having to erase, go back, start over at least three times.

           “Hey, where are you?”

           It was straight and to the point. He wasn’t much on texting, so she was lucky to even get a one word reply most of the time. She waited. Wherever he was and whatever he was doing, he was in no hurry to tell her.

           Meredith opened the refrigerator and found a Diet Pepsi. She needed something to drink, her mouth was getting drier by the second. Her nerves were dancing all around. She could feel the panic setting in.

           Dean had always criticized her for worrying too much and overthinking everything. She had to admit, he was usually right.

           A loud beep startled her, bringing her back to the present. She quickly grabbed the phone, hoping to get some answers.

           “I don’t want to be married anymore. I’m leaving.”

           Meredith stared at the phone, what did it say? She looked again, and again, thinking that she must be dreaming. Dean wouldn’t have sent a text like that. Would he? Why? What did she do wrong? She stopped to think of what to text back, wanting an explanation, knowing she couldn’t ‘yell’ or else he just wouldn’t answer at all.

           “What do you mean?” sounded like an obvious question, too obvious. Maybe she should just let out the anger. “What the FUCK?!” That’s what she wanted to say, to his face, but not in a text. He would simply turn the phone off and ignore her. Her biggest pet peeve is being ignored or dismissed. He used to do that in the middle of an argument, just walk away.

             She sat in bed in her mother’s room, where she and Dean were currently sleeping. Meredith felt as though she was frozen; time stood still as she stared at her phone. “How could he do this to us? To our plans?”

           What kind of a person just walks out on his wife and daughter? She was mad, furious, livid, hot, bothered, and overall pissed off that he was so selfish as to walk away. Her heart raced as her head filled with what she had to do as soon as the sun came up.

           Meredith knew she should wake her mother. She was sleeping on the floor in the tiny apartment because she gave the bed to Meredith and Dean.

           There was nothing worse to her than to tell her mother. For as long as she could remember, Meredith could never hide her emotions from Glenda. It was like being given truth serum, she could never lie to her mother, well, not about the important things.

           Summoning all her courage, she stepped into the living room where Glenda was asleep. “Mother? Are you awake?” With each passing second, Meredith knew she needed her mother now more than ever. As much as she hated to admit at 38 years old, she still needed her after all.

           “What is it? What’s wrong Mer?” Glenda said, waking out of a fog.

           “Nothing’s wrong. Well, yes, something is wrong, but it’s not Emergency-Room wrong.” As soon as she was looking into her mother’s eyes, the tears started to flow. “Uh, hmm, uh, Dean’s gone.” That’s all she could say at the moment. She grabbed a tissue to hold over her face as she continued to cry.

           “What do you mean he’s gone?” Surely he’s just down the street to get the Wi-Fi signal?” It sounded like the obvious conclusion, because that is what he had done every single time they visited. Glenda didn’t have Wi-Fi; she had no use for it.

           “All I know is when I texted him to find out where he was and when he’d be back, I got a text reply saying he was leaving. He didn’t want to be married anymore.” Saying it out loud again made more tears travel down her cheeks.

           “Now, calm down, there had to be an explanation.” Glenda was always the optimist. She never wanted to see the bad side of anyone.

           “Mother, I know it’s true. He has turned distant lately, I could barely get him to answer a message when he was on his way here.” Meredith remembered the dozens of texts she had sent him the week before. The plan was that she and Frankie come first, find a place to live, and start school. Then, as soon as they had an apartment, Dean would come down with the U-Haul. It had taken almost three weeks, but Meredith finally found a place to live.

           Dean had arrived in town, in the middle of one of the biggest blizzards they had seen in years. That night, over two feet fell. The roads were covered in thick ice and wet snow. Snow drifts had blocked in every vehicle in the parking lot. They stayed inside, watching reruns and the weather channel on tv, making cookies, and playing Scrabble. Later that evening, Dean had gone out to check on the minivan Meredith had driven, to see if it could move it. He got it out but said but the roads were pretty bad. They wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while, as in several days.

           Meredith knew it wasn’t an ideal situation. Her mother had a small one bedroom apartment She found it crowded for two people to be in it at the same time, let alone four. She put on a smile and kept thinking that in two more days, they’d be in their own apartment. Could that have only been 12 hours ago? It felt like 12 days ago right now.

            She realized Glenda had been calling her name. “Meredith? What is it? Why did he leave? What about Frankie?”

           As soon as Glenda spoke her granddaughter’s name, she appeared in the doorway, rubbing her eyes. “What about me?”

CHAPTER TWO

           Meredith dreaded this moment, more than any other difficult revelation she’d had in the past or will have in the future. How do you tell a little girl that her Daddy left and didn’t want to live with them?

           “Honey, come sit over here with me,” she said as she patted the sofa and seat next to her. “I need to tell you something, and it’s not good.”

           “Mommy? What? What’s wrong?” Frankie’s voice trembled with nervousness as she waited for her mother to say something.

           Meredith picked her up and sat her on her lap. She looked at her, eye to eye and said, “Baby, Daddy won’t be coming home. He left, for good.”

           “What? Mommy? He was here. Where did he go?” She would have dozens of questions, Meredith knew. All very similar to her own. For the moment, however, she needed to be brave and strong for her daughter.

           “Daddy left us, well, he left me. He doesn’t want to be married to me. He is still going to be your Daddy, but we won’t be living with him.” She would give anything to wipe away that deep sadness that overwhelmed Frankie at that moment. The girl inhaled deeply before sobbing uncontrollably for several minutes. Meredith held her tightly and rocked her back and forth on the bed, hoping that she would get it all out.

           “Daddy doesn’t love us anymore?” she wailed in the middle of the breakdown.

           “No, Daddy doesn’t love me I guess, he still loves you.” At least that’s what he said in the longer text. “I am going to be back in a week or two, your van will be at the airport. I’ll send you the lot and space. Tell Frankie I love her and I am still her Dad.” I guess it was that simple to him. He never was one to worry about the consequences of his actions.

           Meredith was so angry at that moment; she wanted to scream and yell and hit him. “How dare you hurt my baby!”

           It was only 5 a.m. and it was still dark outside. She didn’t know what she should do. She knew she should go back to sleep but didn’t think she could. Frankie had stopped crying and had fallen back asleep, in her arms.

           Meredith went to the only window that looked onto the parking lot for a view of what outdoors looked like. As far as she could see, there was white. Mounds of white snow had covered everything in sight. It was then that she realized, Dean had really taken her minivan and left them the huge U-Haul. A U-Haul that was due to be turned in the following day. The U-Haul that was full of their furniture. The furniture that had no place to go since the apartment was waiting on Dean’s information and money for them to move in. She was screwed. Royally screwed!

           Her heart was speeding up again, her breath was coming in short, heavy gasps. She was hyperventilating. “Mother,” she was barely able to say, “please get me a bag to breath into”. Sweat was collecting on her head and eyebrows as the room was starting to spin.

           “Sit down Meredith!” she could faintly make out her mother’s voice. She did as she was told.

           When she was in the kitchen chair, her mother came over with a bag and a hand towel, dampened with cool water, to wipe her forehead. It was these moments that Meredith was grateful she had her mom on her side.

           “The first thing you are going to do is go back to bed. I can turn on the tv, and maybe you can get an hour of rest. The remainder of the day will be difficult.” Glenda was on top of things, going into high gear. “I’ll make something for breakfast, whatever you girls want.”

           “Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll feel like eating for a while,” she confessed.

           “I don’t care what you think, I’m making breakfast,” she insisted. “Maybe Frankie will want to eat.” Glenda gently pushed her daughter to the bed, making sure she was comfy under the covers, and kissing her on the forehead. “It will be okay, don’t worry too much”.

           As Meredith laid in bed, dreading the next 24 hours, she thought how her life had ended up similar to her mother’s. Her father died when she was 16, her younger sister was 11 and her younger brother was only seven. It wasn’t easy being raised by a single mother. And now, she was in the same boat.

           Remarkably, she was asleep in minutes. Over an hour later, she woke up, hoping that everything that had happened was just a bad dream. Her phone proved to reveal the truth. His glaring text jumped out at her. “I’m Leaving”.

           Not a dream, or a nightmare. This was reality. The sun was already up, shining down on the bright mountains of snow. She hoped it would melt some of the ice hiding underneath the snow on the U-Haul. As soon as the service station opened, she needed to call them to ask, or beg, them to extend her rental contract, in this situation. She knew it would have to be unloaded, somewhere. At the moment, she had no idea where?

           “A list!” she thought to herself. She needed to make a list. I guess the first thing on the list was to let some of her best friends know what happened. Oh! She would need to pick up the van at the airport. What a jerky move! She has to do all the clean up behind his mess. As usual. This was unbelievable! She was getting mad all over again.

           Minutes later, Frankie was stirring. It sounded like a nightmare. She was mumbling something unintelligible. Carefully, Meredith rubbed her back and gave her a gently shake. “Honey, are you okay? It’s Mom, I’m here.”

           “Daddy? Daddy!” She started crying and almost screaming for her father. Meredith’s heart was being ripped in two. How could anyone inflict this type of pain on their child? She could never forgive him.

           “Hey, Frankie, wake up,” she soothed. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here.” As she opened her eyes, Meredith saw the confusion behind her daughter’s eyes. How could she explain this to Frankie when she didn’t even understand it herself?

           A few more rubs and shakes and Frankie was wide awake. Meredith could see the minute she remembered what had happened. The sadness took over her expression and tears were in her eyes again. “Why did he leave, Mom? Is it because I’m a girl?”

           “What? Why would you think that?” Meredith was shocked to hear the words her daughter was saying.

           “If I was a boy, he’d play with me, and he wouldn’t leave.” To her young mind, that is how she saw it. She would be more lovable as a boy.

           “No! That is not true, Francine Lianne!” She hoped her daughter would rust her about this. Meredith didn’t have many answers at the moment, but this one she was sure of. “That isn’t the problem.”

           “Then what IS the problem?” Frankie always seemed to be more mature than other kids her age. She had always been a thinker.

           “Well, I guess Daddy doesn’t love me anymore. You know how you have friends with parents that are divorced? We will be like that. You’ll get to see both of us whenever you want, just not together.” That was the best she could come up with.

           “Okay. We’ll be okay Mom,” suddenly her seven year old daughter looked older and wiser than her age. She was stronger than Meredith gave her credit.

CHAPTER THREE

           She spent that afternoon texting her family and friends. Every single one of them couldn’t understand why Dean had done what he did. It just didn’t make sense. If he was really that unhappy, why didn’t he say something? If he wanted a divorce, why wouldn’t he just tell her? He was a coward, that’s why. She was satisfied with her answer. It was a very cowardly way to get out of a marriage.

           Dean knew she wouldn’t have done anything, no matter how terrible their marriage had become. She was committed to making things work, no matter how unhappy she was. Moving back home to Tennessee was her idea. It had been a dream of hers since Frankie was born. She wanted to raise their daughter in a small town, without the threat of gangs and violence. She had thought it was ‘their’ dream, apparently, she was wrong.

           Trey had called her before lunch to say he’d be over there the next morning after some of the ice had melted. It would take everyone she knew, or he knew, to get the truck unloaded. He had a large empty garage where she could store her furniture.

           That evening, after she put Frankie to bed, she started thinking about her situation. She checked their joint bank account to find he had withdrawn over $500, leaving them barely $250 to get by on until she found a job. She texted a friend living in Nashville and asked her to pick up the van and keep it until she could come get it. There was no reason to pay for parking longer than necessary.

           She had rewritten her to-do lists several times in the past 24 hours. She was doing anything she could to not have to think about being alone for the rest of her life. She wasn’t sure she still loved Dean, but she didn’t want a divorce either. She knew she wasn’t ‘in love’ with him, but she did still love him. Her mind wandered to the happier times they had. But, whenever a good memory came to mind, it was followed by a bad memory. He was never physically abusive but he could sling insults with just as much force.

           Did he ever really love her? Was she just a provider for him? Someone to take care of the house and bills? Meredith couldn’t remember the last time he actually went and paid a bill or wrote a check. She handled all the money. In fact, they used to kid around that their bank probably wouldn’t recognize his signature since she was the one signing his checks for deposit.

           A deep feeling of resentment was building in her. She had worked, full-time, while he was trying to figure out what he wanted to do. She had done the shopping, cleaning, and cooking. He needed a mother and that’s what he got.

           As she went to bed that night, she knew she would have to be brave for Frankie and not let her see how worried she was about their future.