The piercing sound of the ringing in my ears

It was loud. So loud.

My head exploded.

Life altered.

Piercing.

And it followed us from path to path.

Chasing almost.

The new journey began. But. How to move forward from the mess left behind? In the moment, there was too much repair, too much restore and renovation to be undertaken.

In an instant life can return to bad paths and bad habits. And while attempting to dig out, to get out from under the muck……

New surroundings can sometimes help. A new path. New journeys, new ventures, new life, new friends, new jobs, new spouses, new siblings, new house, new apartment, new car, new clothes, new shoes.

New-ness being the band aid of all band aids.

Covering the sins you carry of your own, and the sins taken on, carried of and for others. Creating a multitude of newness never imagined.

One day.

One desperate day.

The home alarm goes off.

And life is changed forever.

In the moment someone cried out.

Very loud. Loudly. Louder.

And asked for it to stop.

The busy-ness of life quickly takes over and old patterns return and emerge. Regroup is really the only path forward. Steadiness comes from character and commitment. And sometimes ya just gotta be tough. Be tougher than the vices, sins, and so called incontrovertible truths. The facts. Be tougher than the opposition, or at least the perception of the oppositional forces that draw your attention away from who and what is most important.

Accept the challenge to leave, giving up the time wasted on petty matters that hold us from service. Leave what holds us back in order to grow in friendship. In friendships with others. In friendship with God. He is the one true being whose only agenda is to walk along side us. (pf) To guide us out of our egoism.

Time will tell. It usually does. This piercing sound of the home alarm was the strong moment when we met Jesus. And he said, it will be tough, but it will be alright. Follow me and it will be alright.

I think so.

I just did not think it at the time.

The curve balls kept coming.

And I wasn’t sure.

The good news.

Personally, I never found Jesus.

In the cynical way of critics who vent, “Oh, now he or she found God, blah, blah, blah.

A bonafide believer.

But boy oh boy, did I rely on Him and His words more than ever. It took longer than I had expected. And.

Here I am. Undertaking the biggest restore, reset, regroup renovation of life. Never imagining the here and now being the here and now.

”How did we get here”. My son asked me the other day and although I could answer, it was still jumbled in my head. The home alarm that went off that dreadful day came immediately to my mind, and yet the words were not there. Here or there. To adequately answer his question.

The good news. Steadiness comes from character and commitment. Confidence within building that I knew where to take us. Where we needed to be, where we needed to go.I just didn’t know how to get to there.😳😳😳😳

So.

I.

Prayed.

And.

I.

Pray.

Like.

A.

Crazy

Person.

As my Father always taught me. He was a kind and gentle man. The opposite of crazy. Living the last days of his life asking for forgiveness for his sins in the hope of returning home. He was not above others. He taught me to realize my faults and pay my penance. With steadfastness even if and when it did not feel joyful.

My Father’s lesson in penance guided and guides me greatly, honestly and wholly. “Now is the time” whispered from time to time—to share the wisdom, but the curveballs kept slicing in. It has been anything but easy.

Simple, but not easy. To accept the challenge to leave encompasses walking away from all that you may know and believing it will be alright. No guarantees either. Except God’s presence is now the gentle whisper guiding your thoughts, words and actions to a more stable place of existence.

That is good news.

Let egoism go, or remain a spectator of one’s own existence.(pf)

Rely on the gentle whispers of the word of God each day. How? From every angle. (LK) Through scripture, thoughts, deeds, good words, and good actions. Before you know it you become a participant in your own life. Not just a passive joiner of the slings, arrows, jabs, barbs, and yes, of course the curve balls.

Kindle a Light in the Heart. Open you heart. (pf). Exercise daily the attraction to awareness. Listen to the whisper of His direct and close call to follow Jesus.

Enough of those other “close calls” already.

They were empty.

They did not matter.

They were disingenuous.

They were not in the best interest of you and your peeps. 🙂

They we’re not in the best interest of you and your precious family.

And. It is precious.

Sometimes during the curve ball compulsions, distractions and anger we

Forget.

How lucky we are.

How lucky we can be.

Until the home alarm goes off. Loudly, incredibly loud. There are soft and loud kinds of violences that can deter, deflect and detour our path to Jesus.

The good news, is His Father taught Jesus well. Very well. Well done, in fact. The hard part is rejecting the memories of the past violence, whether it was, is, or will be covered with stories and lies. Incontrovertible. There are two sides to every story, one is lie and one is truth.

Somewhere in the middle is compromise. Hedge or pledge to not hedge is within your path forward. Selfish calculations. Selfish calculations are not the answer. Forgiveness is not a coupon, a rebate, a value of human life based on evil calculation. That is not the kind of forgive that works.

Penance taught me that. What teaches you that? It is a good question to ask yourself the next time you swipe, wipe or gripe.

An eye for an eye never works in the long game. If that is your end game. The end game plan.

Sow a seed of faith in Him. Don’t simply fake it to make it. That is not right or fair to the new friends brought into your life through and in God’s presence. Through God’s word. Through God’s gentle whispers of get up and go, even if and when you mis-step, mis-speak or mis- know.

Know it alls usually don’t know it all.

Take it from me😔